Members churchlady48 Posted January 23, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 Hello: I'm new to this. Last january my ex-husband and I started seeig each other again. We never stopped loving each other, We were going to remarry. Recently, we found out cancer had spread to his lungs. He and I haven't seen each other but I still call and check on him. He' in the end stages of his cancer, I feel so helpless, I promised him I'd take care of him. I know he has a lot of things on his mind, and he won't let me see him. I try to undertand and go on,but each day it gets harder. We both still love each other, but if that's so why is he shutting me out:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberi Posted January 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2008 Churchlady48, Just wanted to let you know there are lots of women here with great advice and support.Im not sure why he is doing that but I have heard that some people tend to push loved ones away cuz they dont want to burden them or make them feel like they have too help. I know you are respecting his feelings but I would think if you feel like you need to see him then you should try so you are not left with so many questions. Try telling him over the phone how important it is too you. But no matter what please try to stay strong and know you can come here to "I miss him " and you will get lots of good advice.I hope I havent sounded mean or made you upset. I wish you both the best and my prayers are with you.Amber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members churchlady48 Posted January 24, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2008 Thank you. This has been the hardest night because I can't stop crying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberi Posted January 24, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2008 That I can deeply understand. When Alex (my husband of 18years, but we were seperated and working on getting back) was in the hospitol it was very hard for me to cope. He was very mean and yelled at me alot. Then he would tell me it was his fears and he didnt mean it. I hope you can see him I think it would be good for you. I also wish I had an easy answer on how to cope with all of this but unfortunatly I dont.Just hang in there and take it step by step.One breath at a time.Its late over here in CA have to go to work in the morning, but I will check in tomorrow and see how you are. If you have anything of his "a shirt, stuffed animal or something that reminds you of him' hold that when you are crying it makes you feel even closer to him.Take care,Amber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grannyc Posted January 30, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Oh Dear Churchlady48, This is a very difficult time. When the end draws near, I don't think anyone is their true self. He probably doesn't want you to remember him so sick, he could be very edgy, etc. But, I too, hope you can express to him your deep feelings and what you still need. Remind him this is the end also for you. If only by phone, hang in there with him and get your feelings out to him as best you can. You will be in my prayers. Take care of yourself, one breath at a time! GrannyCheryl ^j^ ^j^ ^j^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aurora Posted February 26, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 26, 2008 Church Lady-maybe he is trying to protect you as he did when you were married. Maybe he wants you to remember him as he used to be before his illness-strong and vital, not ill. Why don't you just go see him anyway? I'm sure you both have a lot to say to each other. Or write him a letter. Do it while you still have time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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