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evanwalker22

Loss of a Father

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savemysoul

hi, i feel the same but i feel like i have a black neverending hole in my stomach and i am empty inside. my dad was a lorry driver and he would be coming home tellin me a story of his travels.

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savemysoul

hi, hope ur christmas was ok. it was harder than i thought it would be. me and my mum still had a good cry. we set the table for four of us even though there is only 3. it really upset me, but it made mum happy so i just went along with it. we poured a glass of wine for him aswell. i sit opposite from the empty space. it was hard for me. my mum sits next to the space and i think it just comforted her, that we were not leaving dad out of the christmas ccelebration. i didn't celebrate the new year, becaquse it didn't really feel like a celebration it was just the start of a new year without dad.

hope yours was better.

Hari

x x x

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stefania

Hi Samantha,

I hope you are still checking this message board.  My name is Stephanie and I am 27.  I just wanted to write and say I understand what you are going through.  My father also passed away in November and I too am still finding it very difficult to cope.  It was weird actually..I thought I was handelling it soo well at first....and now it seems to have crept up on me.  Unpredictable crying fits, horrible horrible dreams, happy moments, sad moments.....I seem to be all over the place.  My poor boyfriend has done everything he can think of to help, but he too feels helpless  Actually, it is starting to cause problems in many of my relationships.  Work, school, friends, family.....One thing that has helped is that I have started seeing a councellor.  What she helped me to realize is that everyone has a different idea of what grief should look like and that you cannot try to "hurry up" the process just because others don't think it should be taking you so long.  She also told me that if you need to experience a feeling at a certain time, do so.  Don't force yourself to bottle up the emotions.  Experience them, they are a natural part of the grieving process.  This helped me immensely.  Last weekend, I had to go to a wedding where the groom's mother had died years ago.  Naturally, he made a speech about how sorry he was that his mother didn't live to see is wedding day.  Being unmarried myself, I became very upset.  But...I excused myself from the table, went to the washroom and had a good cry.  When I was done, I went back to the wedding and managed to have a fantastic time the rest of the night.  So you see, sometimes just dealing with the emotion as it arises and then moving on when you are ready, can be theraputic.  I have a DVD that I made of my father for his viewing.  It has some of his favourite songs and pictures of him throughout his life.  Sometimes, when I really miss him, I put it on and I cry.  And cry and cry and cry.  And then when I feel a little better...I get up and slowly start to ease back into my day.

There is so much more I can tell you, but I don't want this message to turn into a novel!

I hope the support group goes well for you.  I also hope that your mom will come to understand that the two of you probably have very different grieving processes.  Do what YOU need to do to feel better.

Take care.  And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me back:)

All the best,

Stephanie

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deathofanangel

i am 17 but was 14 when my dad died. it doesnt get easier. it hits you hard in the stomach when you lesat expect it. it comes in shock waves. you get used to the pain until it becomes just a background noise. it hurts when people dont realise and start asking about your family and dad and you cant help but feel like everyone should know even though u know that not every one does. you start appreciating things that u shud have appreciated more when he wsa alive. i have now only just learnt to appreciate his music taste. if anyone wants to ask me anything about coping or anythign then i am here to listen.

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deathofanangel

hi, i feel the same but i feel like i have a black neverending hole in my stomach and i am empty inside. my dad was a lorry driver and he would be coming home tellin me a story of his travels.

my dad was a lorry driver too. i miss going in his lorry with him and giong places and when he came home and told us about where he had been and who he had met. when he went to work mondays on sundays he would put me to bed and tell me his 'plan of action' for the next day.

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lostdad2004

Ok so its been years since i posted on here and i have to say the support i have gotten from so many people was very helpful, has been 6 year since the loss of my father in an unexpected Auto Accident, After this long the pain and wounds still seem fresh like it just happened yesterday however it is a bit more managable now, i still find some days are almost impossible to get through and i still want to go to sleep and wait till this is over, I have decided to follow in my fathers footsteps and save lives for a living i am currently an EMT/Firefighter and will be starting paramedic next year. I continue to live my life day by day and it works most of the time but when the tones drop and someones life hangs in the balance all my fears, grief and emotions of the shattered life i still pick up disappears and i do my best to ensure that someone elses children,husband, wife,parents and family dont have to do the same as i have!! To all those who lose what seems to be the stitches of your life hang onto the torn seems as hard as possible and things will eventually begin to fall into place! Nothing will ever be the same and the pain will forever remain but when you seem like your at your final breaking point and about to give youll muster the strength to survive. If you dont want to do it for you do what i did and do it for the person you lost who would expect you to be strong, do it for the family members that are in their darkest hour and do it in spite of those who say get over it! youll never get over it but what you will do is be strong enough to ask those jerks who they think they are what makes them the masters of grief what makes them so much stronger then you when you are still breathing after your life fell to a trillion peices that cant all be recovered.

I thank you all for your kind words and may the rest of your lives be filled with the ease you all deserve, and may things get easier to manage AND may karma hand those nasty jerks their asses and tell them to kiss it goodbye!!!

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evanwalker22

My name is Evan, I am a 17 year old film student at Savannah Arts Academy, and I lost my father to drug overdose two years ago. My dad was from San Diego, California and it was in his will for his ashes to be spread on top of Mt. Soledad in his home town. This summer, after our high school graduation, my best friend and I are taking a train to San Diego and I will be filming a documentary about our travels. Along the way, we will stay in ten different cities and interview the people we meet about their own struggles with grief and closure. I would really appreciate if you visited our website and helped us spread the word about "JET Life." There is a ton more information about the film and my friend and I on there. I will post the link below. Also, if you would like to share your stories of loss with us, please don't hesitate to contact us -- the contact information is online. http://jetlifefilm.wordpress.com/

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