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A Visit to the Cemetery


caitsmom

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I went to visit Caitlin’s grave yesterday. I was feeling pretty strong after church, and I felt that since it had already been two days since the stone was delivered, that I should go. The day was cold, but not biting and I was able to stand outside for a time, though, I’m unable to say how long I was there. At first I thought it wasn’t there, but then I recognized her name and tears burst out of me. It was such a shock to see her name on a grave marker. My hand flew to my mouth; I was trying to stifle my own disbelief that she was dead. I started to wail, but it soon subsided into crying, then tears, and at last wet cheeks in silent sadness. I was at last able to talk to her. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I wish it could be different. I didn’t know. I wish I had stayed with you every minute of the day. I wish I hadn’t taken any time for my surgery. I didn’t know. I wish I had told them not to use that kind of tube or give you oxygen or not do what ever it was that caused this to happen. I wish I had had them send you for surgery earlier. I’m so sorry sweetie. I love you. I miss you.” Someone had put coins on her marker and a little plastic toy of a girl with brown hair, just like Caitlin would have had. I thought that was nice.

I couldn’t believe her body was just below the dirt. There was still a slight mound from the recent burial. I imagined the white coffin and her in her pink dress we bought for her. I was so careful not to walk on it. I did kneel and touch every letter they had carved, and my fingers got caught in tracing her first name continuously. “You daddy liked that name so much the first time he heard it. He told me he liked it better than the names I had wanted him to think about when we first found out we were pregnant. We loved your name. Caitlin your mommy loves you and she’s sorry.” Later I looked at the other babies’ graves and thought about the parents who were missing their children. I wondered if I would meet any of them. Do they visit often? Is it too difficult? Did they move away? Do our children know that we do or don’t visit their grave? Do our children need us to visit? Is it Ok if we don’t visit the grave often? There was a father and his two young sons, about 12 and 8, who came to arrange the toys and flower on a baby’s grave. We didn’t look at each other or talk. Though I did catch the boys’ eyes, they looked away quickly and spoke in hushed whispers to each other and their Dad. It seemed they knew instinctively that this was a place to say “hello” or talk together. Then they drove away. The grave was another baby girl, nearly two years old. “Where’s her mommy,” I wondered. I righted the rest of the toys on the graves and went back to Caitlin’s and talked to her some more and took some pictures. I wanted to remember the first day I saw it.

Years ago, I would have thought this was morbid, but today I just think it is as it is. I wanted to see the grave and study it. The anguish I feel over her death is unbearable, yet the markers of her death are what I do have of her on this earth. And I looked out across the baby graves and saw all these markers as what the moms and dads have left of their children. Turning about I took in the hill with the rows of grave stones, monuments, statues of Mary, Jesus, Angels, and benches and the cemetery came to life as I burned with the intensity of the feelings for those who are loved and now lost to us here. There were times, I thought of graveyards as interesting and wondered about what kind of person was buried underneath a particular stone. I would see a stone of someone I knew of, like Benjamin Franklin’s parents in Boston, and think “My, that’s where they were buried. Well, think of that.” Today my eyes took in all those stones, and my heart saw them as all that was left of those who are loved. The loving remain on earth and the loved are marked with stone, because we can no longer look upon their sweet faces and so we mark them with a stone, something we can look upon. It was all horribly wrong. I looked at the cemetery and 'felt' it this time. It wasn’t the dead who awakened for me this afternoon, but rather the echoes of the pain, anguish, love, and loss of the living that radiated from each stone for the dead. All of it, every emotion, word, cry, and scream was too powerful to go with them when they left the cemetery, so it remained in the ground and in those stones for me to feel. I turned back to Caitlin’s grave.

It’s called a ‘final resting place’ and we know that means the body is here and it’s what we have left. We may have clothes, toys, blankets, and pictures, and those we keep close and sometimes carry with us. This place, though, this is what’s left of my baby as she was here on this earth. Part of the anguish I feel is knowing that her soul, her spirit, what truly made that baby body be Caitlin Anne isn’t in that coffin. Her spirit, her essence isn’t on this earth anymore. She’s not really there under the ground, because her spirit lives in my heart and I ache to express my love for her here in this time and in this physical place. Some days I feel she’s in heaven, other days that she’s floating around in the wind somewhere, other days that she’s with me.

I couldn’t sleep last night. I sat in the dark office room, what would have been Caitlin’s room, in the orange chair. I rubbed her blanket against my face, then held it there. “Is that what it felt like to her?” I was a mother without her baby. I sat with Caitlin’s blanket and opened it on my lap and stroked it gently. Imagining what she felt when she laid on it. I stayed there and waited for the nurses to come and lay her in my lap. They didn’t come. “Who do you pray to for a miracle like this? Who do you pray to to bring a mother her baby? Who do I have to pray to? Who will grant me this? Who?” I stayed there for a time not knowing how long, just hoping that I would get an answer. Just silence and darkness.

The blanket had some static in it and when I would stroke it little electric sputters would happen and give me some magical sparkles. “This is where I decide that this is Caitlin, if I believed in signs from beyond. Do I believe? I get to decide, that’s what’s great about belief.” I decided to enjoy the lights and how Caitlin would have stared in wonderment at them and, just because it had a magical effect, it was Caitlin as she was magical to me. I put the blanket back on my lap and stared at its emptiness and waited for my baby.

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Caitsmom,  I just read your letter to your baby.  I've had so many of those same feelings when I go to my young husband's grave.  He died at 25 - so young to leave those who loved him - with a baby on its way that he would never see, never hold, never kiss, never see take her first steps... 

I've had some similar thoughts to yours when I go to the cemetery.  The first time I saw his name on the marker it seemed so surreal.  And it is surreal!  It is "unnatural".  As a Christian, I believe that death is an enemy.  It is not what God intended for his children.  One day He will completely vanquish death, and then there will be no more sad goodbyes, no more tears, no wailing at the cemetery, no cemeteries at all.  That will be a glorious day! 

One time I was at the cemetery recently.  I was looking at his name on the marker and seeing his face in my mind, feeling so sad that I had to be here at all, when I heard in my head, "I'm not here, you know.  I'm not here.  You don't have to come here to feel my presence with you."  It was true!  I can feel his presence with me anywhere I am because he isn't there "under the dirt". 

I hope this helps you some as you grieve.  Grieve we must, but know that your baby is not dead.  You cannot hold her in your arms now, but she is not dead.  She is more alive now than she ever was here in this world. 

Sheela, my thoughts and prayers are with you today, as well. 

Blessings, ~Oneta

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ty Oneta

 

Some days I feel she’s in heaven, other days that she’s floating around in the wind somewhere, other days that she’s with me.

 

this is how i feel about my mom too

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My deepest sympathy..your story touched me.I just lost my son 21 years old.  He just came back from Iraq and we were so excited that he made it back okay.  He was only home a month with his 6 mo. baby and he died January 1st, 2008.  Full military investigation dont know what happened.  I related to the disbelief and visiting the grave and seeing your childs name it is so surreal. I cried when I read your grief and related to the pain of the cemetary...God Bless...

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To all - I guess its seeing the words, the phrases that hit hardest .   I know on the day Micheal died, when I arrived on scene a police woman asked my husband (an ambo) if I was "the mother of the deceased".  I said, no I'm Micheals mum.  I really couldn't relate deceased with my son.......I was never the deceased mum, I was Micheals mum.

It continued with Coroners documentation and Insurance enquiries.  When I phoned I would be asked 'what relation are you to the deceased?'  Who was the deceased????  It all falls into that reality that none of us wants.....

I believe Micheal's earthly body has gone......sadly I will never see him in the ways I did before.   But I feel he is around me in many ways......

Take care - Trudi

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johnnysmama

dear chrismom08-My heart breaks for you-my son died a year ago on a motorcycle on an army base in texas. he was 21 also. We felt we were really becoming more his friend and less of a parent and that was so neat. I cant imagine if he had a baby...

 

caitsmom-your writing put down thoughts I was thinking but couldnt find the words for-please keep writing

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shellbellsmom

Caitsmom,

I think going to our childrens grave sites is one of the hardest things we do now that they are gone...I live only minutes from my daughters and can see her headstone from the road when I drive by...I wave everyday and tell her I miss her smile, our talks, and all the times we shared together.  The headstone makes it official, but I know she doesn't rest there...she's in the breezes, the blooming flowers, the birds songs, and as always deep in my heart.

Next time you visit her gravesite- think about how peaceful it is there....then  imagaine how peaceful it is where they live now.

Missing her,

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veronicasmom

Sometimes I forget my daughter is gone and when I cook something she liked I find myself getting ready to call her so she can come over.  Then I just stand there.  This morning as I was driving to work it hit me again:  Veronica is dead.  She is not here anymore.  Never again.  It's almost surreal, like reality doesn't exist at times.  I have these explosions of reality at times.  I also live very close to where she is buried, so I drive by there on my way to work twice a day.  Everyday as I go by I blow her a kiss and tell her I love her.  Every day.  She still does not have a headstone because of the cold season we had.  But that is now underway.  I am so scared of the day when it will be set down.  I don't want to see it.  The raw pain is so heavy....and to start over....  It has been 5 months.

shellbellsmom--Yes, we have met at the support group and I'm glad you joined BI.  I look forward seeing you next week.  D.

 

 

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shellbellsmom

Yesterday when I drove past the cemetry in the newly fallen snow I saw a single set of footprints going  to and from my dauthers grave...she had been paid a visited.  :)

Later when we went to say "Happy Easter" to my little angel 2 fresh red roses lay on her headstone.  Her boyfriend of 7 years was in town and stopped to say Hello...and for a brief moment a smile came over me.  She was remembered by someone other than mom and dad.  She is loved, She is missed, She is in heaven now- hopefully dancing with angels and having the time of her life.  :D

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Sue, I know that feeling.  Each guestbook entry for Mike makes me think someone else see the light from my sons smile. Just for a minute someone else is touched by him and I am so proud I am his mum.

Take Care - Trudi

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mishelly561

As I sit here and read all of your words. I think back on how I miss seeing Chris's Grave. Its been hard not seeing his grave. I almost feel like I abandoned him :?. I know I was there all the time and I had gotten really depressed. I found out that he still dosn't have a headstone and its such a difficult  cemetary to deal with... After he had died we had gone for his birthday about 2 weeks later and made his grave so beautiful and they came and threw everything in the trash :X. Didnt even tell us.. Then we were told that the price of the headstones were 3000 + I almost fell over. And they have to approve them. Its almost like a catch 22..

I remember while I was standing there in the cemetary looking around and thinking to myself. Wow, every person who is in here has a story on how they died and what their family is going through.

I went to my grandmothers grave today to leave her some flowers and noticed how  empty all the graves are around her (almost like forgotten). All I could think was I pray someone is seeing my Chris in Florida. I hope his dad is going to see him and take him his flowers. I will see his grave next year when I have to travel back there again.

I just miss him so much and would love to see him one last time to hear his voice, see his smile, watch his facial expression and call my name one last time.

I was at work the other day and a child had a seizure and when I saw that child convulsing I ran back into my office in tears because all I could see was Chris when he had his seizures. I couldnt handle it. I wanted to help that child and I felt so helpless at that moment. I was taken back by seeing that child in his situation. At the same time I wanted Chris with me and knew it was never ever going to happen again...

Sorry to babble on... I'm just so angry today he is not with us anymore...I miss him more then words can say. I dont know what to do with myself today I feel so out of place. :(

Michelle~

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Dear Michelle,

I'm so sorry your Chris is no longer here with you. The pain is unbearable at times. You are not alone. Yes, there will be someone noticing, seeing, tending and sending peaceful and loving thoughts to your Chris at his grave site. It is a quiet place, but those of us left behind feel the loss for all when we visit.

and Trudi, shellbellsmom, and others, I must share with you that I also appreciate it when I find a heart, flower, or coins at Caitlin's grave letting me know that she is not forgotten. Thank you for reading and giving me a place to share my thoughts. Missing all our precious ones; we were blessed to have them.

Peace dear parents, spouses, siblings and friends,

Caitsmom

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calebsmomma

Dear Caitsmom

I visit the cemetary nearly 3 times a week.  And I check it daily.  I want to give you a hug, cause I'm reminded of every precious day I had with my son, when I hear of your and other people losing precious babies. I find myself blessed for having almost 20 years with my son.  

We've yet to place a momument.  I just can't find the right statement for the back of Caleb's marker.  I realize that one of the small blessings I have. Caleb's in a small cemetary and that 4 of the 5 board members are family so I can do pretty much what I want.  And right now I want to be the one who cares for his gravesite. 

I was rushed so in all the decisions concerning Caleb's service and I vowed this the last thing I can do for Caleb and It must be perfect.

I hope as hard as seeing it was for you, you found comfort in the rightness of what you have chosen. 

Hugs again,

Carmen

 

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lovekristy4ever

Hi Carmen,

I think you should take your time to make his monument perfect! AND it will be perfect!   I felt the same way - rushed into every decision.  Where to have the service, what church, how long visitation, flowers, etc.  I felt I couldn't breathe when they brought us into the room to pick out the casket.  So many decisions are made so quickly. We do't expect this to happen to our children.  I remember being with my mom after my grandfather passed away and everything was already preplanned and there were absolutely no decisions to be made.  This is so different!  Our children should still be with us - we shouldn't have to even consider those decisions

At least you can take your time with the monument.  We do not have Kristy's done yet either.  I just needed to breathe a minute AND I just want it to be perfect for her. 

Hugs,

Terry

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calebsmomma

What I'm finding difficult is to sum up Caleb in s few short lines.

He lived life to the fullest as if everyday was his last and tried to get the most out of the time he had.  Its like he knew.  Caleb told several people including his sister twice that he'd not see 20. he was 52 days short of making it.

How can you tell the world about a kid who was artist, and had the biggest heart in the world.  Who wore pink to church and rode bulls in that color and told the pastor that you had to be secure enough in your manhood to wear pink. This boy once gave the childrens sermon on putting on the full armor of God and used all his bull riding gear to demonstrate each piece of the armor.  He worshiped his little sisters to the point that Kaci was off limits to his friends when she started dating. 

Caleb was the guy who would give his last dime to help a friend in need and would stop at the side of a road to help a lady change a tire., or stop to put up cattle that got out. 

He lived hard, played hard and loved everyone with everything he had.  And I miss him so much that I can't bare it sometimes.

How am I supoosed to say all that in 2 or 3 lines.

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lovekristy4ever

Hi Carmen,

The problem is that you can't say all that in a few words.  But you KNOW and everyone that knew him KNOWS what type of person he was.  I know you will find those perfect words.  It is hard I know.  We ended up putting "Our Love, Our Life" on the stone.  I figured that summed it up pretty much in four words but it really isn't enough.  Never will be.  It wasn't enough that I only got 14 1/2 years with her either. 

I wish you luck with your decisions.  I know it is hard.

Love,

Terry

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calebsmomma

Terry,

Thanks for listening and I'm sorry that you understand.  None of us should understand.  I was prepared that in this life I would probably one day lose my parents, or brother and sister and even my husband. but nothing prepares you for the loss of a child.

I think I need to write lots more.  I like what I wrote to you about living hard, playing hard and loving with everything Caleb had. It needs fine tuning but its alot what I want to say.

Your right everyone who knows Caleb, knows how he was. Not a angel but loving and kind just the same and 100% boy.

We were caught in the struggle with him.  At 19 they are no longer boys and not yet men and still they are both.  I loved the boy he was thru all the struggles and I was proud of the man he was becoming. no one will ever love me in the unconditional way that Caleb did.

No one will ever wrap me up in their arms while I'm cooking and lay ther chin on top of my head, or pet my head like a dog and say stupid things like I have my very own mommy to love and cuddle and pet.  no one will sit next to me in church during a funeral and hold my hand and give one gentle little squeeze to let me know how hard this is and receive my two gentle squeezes back to know I understand. Or I'd do the same thing with him to let him know.  It was our privite signal for hard times since he was about 6. I have my girls and I love them and they love me but its not the same. I love them every bit as much, but its not the same, never will be.

I've looked at your post about your beautiful daughter.  I'm sorry you only had 14 1/2 years.  I think of all I've done with Kaci(17 1/2) and all I have to look forward to with Hannah (13 1/2) and am reminded to count my blessings that I had Caleb almost 20 years. 

Each day no matter how hard is a gift and we as parents who have lost children understand that far better than we should have to.

Carmen

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I've been thinking about what you wrote about finding the words that "could say all that" with "that" being everything that our children mean to us. I thought I would share another cemetery experience that brought this to my heart again. There is a hill that I frequently stare at when I visit Caitlin's grave in the baby section. On this hill is a fence of loosely tossed stones and large and old tree, a pine I think. And this last visit, I finally had the nerve to go to the top and walk through the open "gate" that is no longer there. I had imagined I would find a memorial to a fallen soldier, but instead what greeted me was a white standing grave marker directly under the large tree with the words "Our Darling Baby" in the granite. I wept. So, few words but it said it all. I knew the pain of baby Dorothya's parents. I'm sure you'll find the right words to place on your child's marker, and I thought it might help you to know that the living who share a small part of the pain with you, know the depth of your love for your child, no matter how few words you are able to have chiseled in that stone.

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Peace,

Caitsmom

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A quote found on a grave for a young child. I came across it on-line. Some may find it inspirational.

"Our cherished child, now with God thou dwellest. Father take her and let her be a tie between our human hearts and thee."

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Peace,

Caitsmom

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calebsmomma

I went to the cemetary twice today.  Once when I drove by to make sure all was ready for memorial day.  It was.  I'd planted wild flowers on Calebs grave and someone I don't know who put up a string so the mower wouldn't mow them over cause they look like weeds.  It makes it look a lil uncared for but its not.

I went back this evening cause Kaci had arranged a new arrangement for me and I finally after 5 months got my 13 yr old to go.  It was her 1st visit. Kaci (17) goes all the time but only alone, but Hannah wouldn't.  I just asked if she wanted to go and she said yes. 

Someone else had been there. I'm so grateful he has visitors.  I can tell when the boys have been there but i won't say how cause it might insult some of you but I know they mean nothing by it.

Hope all of you that visit this weekend find the peace I did.

 

Carmen

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shellbellsmom

The cemetery my daughter is at is just down the road from my house so I see it often...almost everyday.   Her headstone can be seen from the road...and at night I have two solar lights that shine over her grave...so never do we pass it without a wave, a little "hello" or the thought about how we miss you so....

MISSING YOU

Salty tears sting my face

Sundry emotions begin to race

I miss you so

Why did you have to go

When my heart is wary

I come to this quiet cemetery

Standing beside your grave

Trying to be strong and brave

I touch your name engraved in stone

Somehow I feel so alone

Through my mortal heartache

I know God makes no mistakes

During my solace visit

I smile and reflect a bit

One day in Heaven we'll be

Together again and happy

By C Sweigart

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wyomingsal

We went the cemetary yesterday and Joshua's stone was in!  We are still waiting for his picture which is supposed to go right between his dates but it was neat to finally see the headstone in.  :)

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lovekristy4ever

Sal,

The stone is beautiful.  The picture between the dates will be perfect.  Thank you for sharing it with us.

Terry

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4everjoeysmom

Sal, I agree.  The stone is beautiful.  What is that in the upper right front corner?  It looks like a soldier w/ shield and sword, but I can't quite make it out.  Is it from Zelda?  Very beautiful...  Love the words you chose...  simple but strong!  ~Claudia

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calebsmomma

Sal,

 it is beautiful..I imagine so perfectly fitting for your beloved boy.  They are so full of being boys at that age.

I know it is a relief and blessing to you.

Carmen

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wyomingsal

Yes, the picture is from Zelda Twilight Princess.  Joshua was a huge Zelda fan and Link , the main hero, is an adventurer that goes out to fight evil.  Joshua loved adventure and exploring.  :)  I do wish the writing on the front stood out a little bit more.  It seems to blend in with the white in the stone.  I guess you just have to get close to read it.

Sal

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shellbellsmom

Yesterday my daughters cemetery suffered some wind damage due to a serve storm...We are so sad the tree that shaded her site was lost to the storm...this tree probably survived 100 plus years of storms in the past and gave this historic cemetery such character.  Her headstone is the pink one (with the heart) in the middle of the picture. Many other trees were also lost during this storm (tornado or straight-line winds) but her headstone was untouched.  We did have to pick up her angel, and some of her plants that were thrown about the area though.

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Dear parents,

So I've been unable to visit Caitlin's grave site and so went back to read the post that began this thread. I barely remember the woman who felt those things she wrote about. Yet, I'm glad I wrote about them, because it did connect me in some way to Caitlin and allowed me through my past words to "visit." The act of going somewhere to honor our children is much bigger than visiting their grave.

Sending all of you lots of connections with your children and peaceful and comforting visits, as you nurture the memory and the love of your children.

Peace,

Caitsmom

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I went to visit cait's grave recently and brought some silk flowers for all the babies in babyland who rest with my precious daughter. I had one flower left and decided to take it up the hill to Mama Bilsky's baby girl Dorothy. This mother and child may likely be reunited in heaven, but I couldn't stop myself from honoring their lives just the same.

In their memory. Peace,

caitsmom

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Dear parents,

Well over the months I've developed some rituals when I visit my baby's grave. I've attached toy to the ground like the one I used to squeeze for her and it would make silly sounds. I also sing to her and talk to her. I wonder if others would like to share their rituals, seems like there is no right or wrong way to grieve or express that grief and the visit to a loved-ones grave can sometimes be a place where we don't know what to do.

In their memory,

caitsmom

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momofonewhosoars

We visit Calypso's grave about every other week. Some weeks it's every week. We had to go with a very simple stone because my dh didn't have a job at the time. We've made up for that by decorating....a lot.

This is Cally's headstone

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This is her treasures

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And her whole grave

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During this last visit I realized someone else had been out there! They'd carefully rearranged her lovies and even put two stones on the top of her headstone!

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I am still trying to design my sons headstone and can't decide on what saying to put at the bottom. He was stillborn. Here's a few ideas I have, please give me input on them to help me decide.

"Stillborn, Still Loved, Forever missed"

"So small, So sweet, So soon"

Our only memory is "We Loved Him"

"We opened our arms but you were placed in our hearts"

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I like the last one! Very fitting I belive because our children are always placed in our hearts for a life time.

"We opened our arms but you were placed in our hearts"

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I like that one too. I'm not for sure how many words they will allow me to put but I was going for that one too. Thanks for your input.

Amanda (Mother of an Angel Baby)

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Amanda,

Good luck and I would love to see pictures once they get the stone up. I pray that you are doing well.

Sonya

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Thank you. I just have to say that I really appreciate you responding. I have wrote something in almost every forum and have hardly had any responses. It helps to talk about everything and get it out but I feel like i'm wasting my time doing it here because no one ever replies. So just thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. And I will post pictures as soon as it's ready.

Amanda

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Well the head stone should be finished in about a week or two. We decided on polished stone with a teddy bear on the left and baby footprints on the right. It will say his name, Brayden Jeremiah Wittner, and date April 5, 2008, and at the bottom we decided on "We opened our arms but you were placed in our hearts" I will post pictures as soon as it's finished!

Amanda

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Dear Amanda

It sounds beautiful. I also love Brayden's name. Hope you find some peace at Braydens headstone like I do. I talk to my son and I know he hears me. It is a peaceful, quiet place where I can be his Mom still. Take care and I would love to see pics.

Hugs, Kay

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Thank you! We came up with Brayden because we wanted one that would work for a boy or girl but if it was a girl it was going to be spelled Braydn. My husbands name is Jeremiah and we didn't want that to be his first name so we decided to use it for his middle name. But i'm so excited and ready for the head stone to be here. I will definitely have pictures posted when it's done.

Amanda

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It's been some time since I've visited this place. My grief was so raw and new as evidenced by my first post here at the beginning of this thread. I've had a day of reflection of my daughter and the many people -- in real life and in e-life-- who have aided in my healing and my new normal. Thinking of all the parents here whose grief may be older than my own, and especially those whose grief is new. May you find the peace you seek as each cell of your body and each unknown part of your soul comes to hold the spirit of your child with love.

Peace,

Caitsmom

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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