I lost my nephew

[abernathy]

I was extremely attached to my nephew. His name was Azriel. He died this November 3rd - we had no idea he was extremely ill. He had a very slight cough and was puking earlier in the week, but he had gotten better. His fever had broken. He was running around playing video games and with his little brother. Early in the morning, my brother and his wife heard him crying out for help, and went to his room to see him pointing to his throat, and gasping for air. My brother took him in his arms and drove him to the hospital at about 90mph - the hospital wasnt even a mile away. Azriel died in the car on the way there. The doctors tried for two hours to bring him back with chest compressions, the defibrillator, and shots to start his heart back. The doctors feared it was meningitis, so they urged my brother and his wife to call for an autopsy.

The autopsy revealed that Azriel had fluid in his lungs and had died of pneumonia.

This loss has hit us all very hard. Azriel was the first nephew, the first son, the first grandson. He was two months shy of his 6th birthday. He had just enrolled in kindergarten and was the favorite of his teachers. He had just won his first soccer award. I was extremely attached to him. I often said that he was my heart(of hearts), and his little brother Jovan is my liver - you cant live without either one. I feel guilty because I live in another city and couldnt see him much - but I called him often and we talked on facebook(well, he would get on and type gobbeldegook at me and send me ten million little hearts). I didnt go to his first soccer game, and I hate myself for it. I was going to put money in an account for him so when he turned 18, he could use it for whatever he wanted - whatever dreams he had.

Its been roughly three weeks. I am extremely angry with my boyfriend of four and a half years because he told me that it's been over two weeks and I should be getting better. He said, "He wasnt your son. No offense." This seems so cruel to me - it hasnt been long at all. I was extremely attached to Azriel - I loved him so much, it was like he was my own son. I dont think its abnormal to grieve so hard after the death of your nephew, especially when you loved them as much as I did and do... is it?

[ModKonnie]

I was extremely attached to my nephew. His name was Azriel. He died this November 3rd - we had no idea he was extremely ill. He had a very slight cough and was puking earlier in the week, but he had gotten better. His fever had broken. He was running around playing video games and with his little brother. Early in the morning, my brother and his wife heard him crying out for help, and went to his room to see him pointing to his throat, and gasping for air. My brother took him in his arms and drove him to the hospital at about 90mph - the hospital wasnt even a mile away. Azriel died in the car on the way there. The doctors tried for two hours to bring him back with chest compressions, the defibrillator, and shots to start his heart back. The doctors feared it was meningitis, so they urged my brother and his wife to call for an autopsy.

The autopsy revealed that Azriel had fluid in his lungs and had died of pneumonia.

This loss has hit us all very hard. Azriel was the first nephew, the first son, the first grandson. He was two months shy of his 6th birthday. He had just enrolled in kindergarten and was the favorite of his teachers. He had just won his first soccer award. I was extremely attached to him. I often said that he was my heart(of hearts), and his little brother Jovan is my liver - you cant live without either one. I feel guilty because I live in another city and couldnt see him much - but I called him often and we talked on facebook(well, he would get on and type gobbeldegook at me and send me ten million little hearts). I didnt go to his first soccer game, and I hate myself for it. I was going to put money in an account for him so when he turned 18, he could use it for whatever he wanted - whatever dreams he had.

Its been roughly three weeks. I am extremely angry with my boyfriend of four and a half years because he told me that it's been over two weeks and I should be getting better. He said, "He wasnt your son. No offense." This seems so cruel to me - it hasnt been long at all. I was extremely attached to Azriel - I loved him so much, it was like he was my own son. I dont think its abnormal to grieve so hard after the death of your nephew, especially when you loved them as much as I did and do... is it?

Hi,

I am so sorry I didn't see your post earlier. Yes, it is perfectly normal to grieve the loss of your nephew like he was your child. I love my nephews and neices like they are my own, and I would be devastated to lose any of them. Love is love, regardless of blood lines or kinship. Two weeks is not enough time to grieve anyone; obviously your boyfriend has never suffered a profound loss.

As for your guilt--please don't feel bad about not going to the first soccer game; we all think we have plenty of time for things. It's okay that you missed it. You cannot go back in time, so you just move forward and accept that it was okay that you didn't. So, you may want to think of putting money in an account for a scholarship in your nephew's name to the high school he would have attended, or put the money aside for Jovan.

I am so very sorry about the loss of your nephew. My son once had a severe case of pneumonia, and I did not realize it until he suddenly dropped on the floor, started puking and couldn't breathe. I felt like a horrible person but he was acting perfectly normal except for not feeling all that great. I thought he simply was coming down with a cold. It happened so fast to my son, that I thank God that it was during the middle of the day and not at night, or I may have put him to bed and not noticed.

So please accept our sincerest condolences, and feel free to share wiht us the story of your nephew. We will be here for you,

ModKonnie