Dog attacked and killed my cat

[_katyyy64]

I got my first kitten, Kiya in September. He was the sweetest, most perfect cat I could’ve ever asked for. He was so scared when I first brought him home, but soon enough we were attached at the hip. He was always with me, even if I wasn’t playing with him he just wanted to be near me. He loved to knock my phone out of my hand so I would pet him and give him my undivided attention. If I was watching TV he would come stand in front of my face like, “mom why aren’t you focused on me?”. It was so annoying and so cute at the same time, I wish I could go back to that. 
I tested positive for covid right before New Years, so obviously my roommate and I had to quarantine. Her parents just left for vacation and she was supposed to watch their dog Juju. But since we had covid we figured it would be safer to bring the dog to our house to watch for the week. Ki and his sister were scared of the dog at first but all juju wanted to do was play with them. He seemed so excited. He has never show aggression towards another animal and grew up with other dogs, specifically small dogs so we figured he’d be fine with cats. Everything was well the first day, the cats kept their distance but they were coexisting. The second day was good too, we were just relaxing late that night doing some crafts together. Ki was walking around so I picked him up and was playing with him for a second but he quickly jumped out of my hands and was sitting on the back of one of our couches. I sat back on the floor about to finish what I was doing when Juju just randomly attacked him. My dogs at my moms house had fought before so I know the signs if a dog is about to attack. He didn’t show any of those signs. No growling, hair wasn’t raised, barking, nothing. It happened so fast and I tried so hard to save Ki but I couldn’t. The dog bit me and my roommate when we were trying to save Ki and I had to go to the hospital. My hands are scarred and it’s a constant reminder of how I couldn’t help him. It was seriously the worst night of my life. I did get Ki out of his mouth when it first happened but I wasn’t fast enough and the dog ripped him out of my hands. It was so traumatic and I don’t know how to feel better. He was only 5 months old. He barely got to experience life. He was my first cat and I seriously can’t believe this happened to him. I’m so devastated and I miss him everyday. I wish there was something I could’ve done or known to prevent this. I cry so much and I know I have people who are there for me but I don’t know how to talk about it. I don’t know how to cope with this. I feel like I let him down and maybe if I hadn’t of picked him up he wouldn’t have ended up on the chair and this wouldn’t have happened. Which I know it’s not my fault, we can’t control animals.. but I can’t help but feel that way sometimes. I just don’t know what to think I still feel like I’m in shock, it’s been about two ish weeks since it happened and it just all feels like a nightmare. I just miss him so much. It took me about a year to decide I wanted a cat, and then when I finally get one this happens… I loved him so much. 
 

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you cope with it? 

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  Someone just posted a similar thread about this.  How hard that you saw it, you must have felt so helpless.  I went to my son's to babysit my grandkids, three hours away, brought my Kodie (small dog) he gets along well with their large older dog.  Unbeknownst to me, my son got a ten month old Siberian Husky, he said he's "aggressively friendly."  No, just aggressive.  They left us and I was with the kids ((six and four) and the dog was outside and Kodie in the house, Kodie needed to pee.  So my granddaughter let him in as we went out (different doors).  We tried that coming back in only Enzo would not go out!  He literally wanted to eat Kodie!  I threw Kodie up on the washer so he couldn't reach him and tried to get Enzo to go out, then he wanted to attack me.  Kodie jumped down in front of me to take him on, wanting to protect me, I quickly threw him back up on the washer, and told him to stay, as authoritative as I could.  That's when Enzo attacked me.  He did severe damage to my already damaged hands (11 injuries in two years, eight of them dog bites...this is the worst one).  I have constant pain and only 10% strength now (went to a nerve conduction center for testing).  Blood was everywhere.  I was in shock, it took my son an hour to get home, his wife stayed at the fundraiser so he couldn't drive me to the hospital!  Kodie was traumatized.  I drove myself two hours away to the hospital, was there until the wee hours, while Kodie was in the car wondering where I was and when I'd be back.  Finally 1:30 am able to drive us home.  First time I'd driven at night in eight years as I have Fuch's Dystrophy of the corneas.  It was a miracle I made it.  Couldn't cook or do dishes or clean for a month.  Kodie has been attacked twice and it was a miracle he pulled through the last one.  He had two close calls besides.  I'm now nervous around dogs I don't know or who show any signs of aggression.

In your situation the dog gave no notice.  I can imagine you do feel in shock still.  I am so sorry!  Bad enough to have Covid but to go through that!  I am so sorry.  I've always had a cat, for 50 years now, something has held me back since Kitty died and I don't know why, that was two years ago.  

You could not have known it would go like this, you weren't warned, obviously the dog had never shown this side of him.  I am so sorry for you, for your kitty.  I don't know what can relieve the pain you feel but it helps a small measure to memorialize them in some way.  When my last dog died, I painted rocks to put on his grave.  One with him riding in his truck, one that said I loved him, one that had a picture of a treat on it.  

I am so sorry for everything you are experiencing, seeing that image, it's haunting, I'm sure.  If you continue to have these images before you you might want to consider this with a qualified grief counselor...
EMDR
Psychology Tools, CBT, EMDR
EFT
EFT in Grief

This is a good article you might find helpful: https://thegrieftoolbox.com/article/ways-take-break-sadness-when-mourning

Also:
http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

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https://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/topic/2382-my-cat-was-taken-so-violently/&do=findComment&comment=219264

[AJWCat]

Heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss.