Members Popular Post foreverhis Posted January 12, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 Hi friends. I didn't want to post this until I had a resolution. On Sunday, I was walking Raleigh (my friend's dog) in one of the nature preserves with open trails. I wear John's ring on a chain along with a pendant he bought me once "just because" (a rare thing because I am not that much of a "jewelry girl"). We stopped at a picnic bench to rest as we always do, which is to say that I need the rest and she patiently waits. As we meandered along and maybe 50 ft further, I looked down and realized that the chain had come undone. I don't know how because it wasn't broken, so I can only figure it was only partway closed when I put it on after my morning yoga class. The pendant was there because it was too small to slip through the clasp, but John's ring was gone. I was upset, of course, but figured we'd start by heading back the way we came and look. Raleigh thought that was weird, but went along with it. No luck. As soon as we got back, I texted my posse of friends. I decided I'd rather spend the rest of the day with Raleigh and worry about John's ring Monday morning. Had it been 2 years ago, I would have been a puddle on the floor, but this is now and I was upset, but didn't lose it. Immediately, my friends made plans to go walking and looking for it. I love my group of friends; we are always there for each other. Monday morning, I went out, put up signs at each end of the trail--because naturally I noticed it gone at the end of the trail! And spent 3 hours searching. I had a feeling it would be by the picnic table/bench, but couldn't find it even with a flashlight. Everyone I met along the way offered to look as they walked too. Total strangers to me, but pitching in anyway. Still no luck. So I walked home and got ready for a dentist appointment. When I got back, I did what one of the people I met earlier suggested and joined the private Facebook group for our community. She had said that people often post lost and found items. John and I only joined FB because our daughter is on it a lot and we wanted to make sure she was honoring our request not to put our private lives "out there" along with hers. The account isn't even in my name; it's my mother's maiden name. Anyway, I introduced myself and explained my situation. Almost immediately, members started responding with good wishes and suggestions. By then, I was pretty tired from the day, so I posted a thanks and said I'd be back on in the morning to respond in detail. This morning as I was drinking my coffee, the home phone rang and the ID said it was a local number. With spoofing, it's hard to know, but I had posted that number on the signs, so I picked up. A lovely gentleman was on the other end and asked me if I could give more details because his daughter alerted him to my problem and he took his metal detector with him on his morning walk. I told him exactly where we'd walked and where I noticed it, etc. I was waiting for a phone call and couldn't join him right away. Not 5 minutes later, the phone rang again. He had found it! It was wedged under the leg of the picnic table in some thick, tall grass. I swear to you, I had looked around that area for at least 30 minutes the day before. I arranged to walk down and meet him, passing along the way another person I'd met the day before who asked if I'd had any luck. I told her I was going to meet the wonderful man who found it. She said, "Oh that's wonderful. He's such a great guy." We met, had a lovely chat, and I walked home with John's ring on my thumb for safe keeping. Before I walked back, I took down the signs and then sat at the picnic table. I texted my posse to let them know, took a picture because it was a gorgeous day, and also posted on the community FB page. I've had more than 200 good wishes and congratulations, etc. I discovered that several members went out of their way to take their early morning walk in that area, just in case. And a few were planning to go out after work with a metal detector one of them owned. I have met almost none of the people in the group and my only real connection to them is that we live in the same smallish town (12,000). I'm thrilled and amazed to discover that the feelings in our small neighborhood of connection, caring, and support translates to so much of the whole town. I was humbled that so many people who have never met me and have no idea who I am would pitch in without so much as a "Why should I bother?" So there's my feel bad, feel good story. It proves there is good in the world if we can just see past the, um, crap all around us. 11 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 12, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 11 hours ago, foreverhis said: I was humbled that so many people who have never met me and have no idea who I am would pitch in Annie, I am crying now after reading this, so much emotion! How I felt when seven people showed up to help shovel snow, PLUS the three (two the same) that shoveled my roof off the week before, I felt much the same as you, VERY humbled and touched, felt cared about, in this small wonderful community that I live in. One of the reasons I'm still here. Everything I felt and MORE you felt because this was something so precious to you! No words to describe the ring we placed on their finger all those years ago, but I remember the very moment, the relief I felt that we were at last husband and wife! Because it meant so much to us, I think we were afraid something would stop it, that it was too good to be true, we'd never had anything like that before! We both breathed immense sigh of relief that moment. Nothing could unjoin us. I know the law says "until death do you part." But even death has not severed what we felt for each other, I know that. The IRS may not classify us as "married" but they can't see inside our hearts and souls... I rejoice WITH you!!! God bless that gentleman with the metal detector! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kay2021 Posted January 12, 2022 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 @foreverhis Such lovely and feel good story! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roseapple Posted January 12, 2022 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 Thank you for sharing, sometimes it all feels just too dark out there, a little light is always welcome. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members her_chrissy Posted January 19, 2022 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2022 A beautiful resolution to a story for which I felt genuinely nervous and at the edge of my seat. I don't know if I could trust myself wearing my wife's rings around my neck. Before I lost her, our relationship was struggling somewhat and we had agreed to put our rings away until we could make some necessary resolutions. She died before she could tell me where she hid them, and I tore my home apart looking for them immediately after. Didn't find them. I returned more calmly and open to listening to her a few days later. She guided me to my ring within only a few minutes that day. I'm never taking it off again, as she'll always be my wife, no matter what else changes. Thank you for sharing this. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 19, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 19, 2022 I am so glad you found it! Mine doesn't fit right now and am too scared to lose it (I paid $275 to have it resized and THEN I lost weight two years ago so now it's too big). I can wear it on my right finger as a dog bit me four times on the ring finger so it has a lot of scar tissue causing it to be at least a size larger. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted January 19, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2022 10 hours ago, her_chrissy said: She guided me to my ring within only a few minutes that day. I'm never taking it off again, as she'll always be my wife, no matter what else changes. Thank you for sharing this. That is such a sad, yet loving, story. I believe and have absolute faith that our loves are sometimes able to "reach through" whatever it is exactly that separates them from us still here on earth. For me, it's been times of extreme pain (both emotional and physical) and I haven't had any signs recently. The signs I've had were very clear to me. My heart knew it was him. I've promised my friends and the FB community to get a safety chain put on so that if it unlatches again, it will simply be loose and not fall open. I'm also going to take it to a local jeweler I spoke with shortly after John died. He fixed John's favorite watch for me when I was sure no one could. I talked to the jeweler about options at the time, but wasn't ready. One of my mom's friends had her husband's wedding ring converted into a pendant by having the back shank cut off, the edges of the center rounded/softened, and then having a bale attached at one end. I think I'm going to do that with John's. Our rings are simple softened flat gold bands with black hills gold as the center overlay. I think it would look really nice to have that as a curved pendant. What's interesting, to me at least, is that John's ring is fairly heavy on the chain, but I do not feel the weight of it. That's why I didn't notice it immediately. I wear it all the time, even to bed, except showers, yard/house work, and during yoga (I did once and it smacked me in the nose during downward facing dog). I'm not sure if that's why I don't feel the weight or if it's because John's so much a part of me that my mind thinks it's totally normal to have it over my heart. I did wonder to a few friends who wouldn't think it's too "woo-woo" if maybe having his ring fall off like that was a sign from John that wearing it all time for 4 years was long enough and it's time to spend the money to make it a pendant, which would be lighter and very pretty. I had started wearing it when he was in the hospital and rehab, along with the "fight for love against cancer" split necklace (1/2 for each person) I got for me and our daughter. It's funny that I seemed to find faith immediately that somehow his ring would return to me. What I didn't expect was an outpouring of support and comfort from, at current count, 450 people--440 of whom don't even know me. I'll be honest; our community is split politically somewhat, though it's about a 65%/35% split. The thing is that I noticed a good 18 months ago that next door neighbors could have opposing signs up in their yard, but manage to be civil and helpful to each other. So much more the way it was when I was growing up and my dad and his friends would discuss/debate their differences, while still understanding that everyone truly wanted what was best, but didn't always agree on how to get there. I miss that so much and seeing that civil behavior in my own community has been a reminder that we can still be that way. 2 hours ago, KayC said: Mine doesn't fit right now and am too scared to lose it (I paid $275 to have it resized and THEN I lost weight two years ago so now it's too big). Oh Kay, that's a shame. OTOH, I'd expect that's likely the only real "down side" to losing weight and getting so much healthier. That it fits your right hand only because of the dog bites and permanent injuries is strangely ironic. I had to have mine resized several years back because I injured my ring finger and was dealing with new auto-immune joint damage and swelling. My right hand is still the same size, but my left has taken the brunt of the auto-immune issues. I've got the same problems in both hands and wrists, but the left has changed more. OTOH, I'm very left dominant (as they say now). The only thing I routinely do rightie is using a computer touchpad, trackball, or mouse. I started that in the '80s when I kept getting sent to different programs in the company to solve document problems, etc. It was just too darn much work to move a mouse or trackball to the other side and reconfigure the buttons every time I had to move my office. With my work, we couldn't take our computers with us, so I had to use whatever kind the specific program had. Plus, John and I shared a computer at home during that time and he was a rightie. Definitely too much of a PITA for either of us to constantly shift it back and forth. In any case, I've started checking the current clasp carefully every day and no longer wear it when I go walking, especially with Raleigh because she's only 12 lb and I often need to pick her up if large dogs are coming toward us. She gets intimidated sometimes, which I realized makes perfect sense. I know I'd be intimidated if a human five or six times my size came running at me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 20, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 20, 2022 Since that is what you were considering I'd take it as a sign that it's okay to do! I wouldn't want to alter George's, it's not something I'd consider but I don't wear it either. I'm not fond of wearing necklaces except when I dress up, same with bracelets, they just feel in the way of doing things. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted January 22, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 22, 2022 fh, that is one of the best, coolest stories I have heard in some time. We can forget that on occasion, things do work out, and not everyone out there is a self-serving jerkface, despite how it feels that way sometimes. So glad for you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted January 22, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2022 3 hours ago, widower2 said: fh, that is one of the best, coolest stories I have heard in some time. We can forget that on occasion, things do work out, and not everyone out there is a self-serving jerkface, despite how it feels that way sometimes. So glad for you! Thanks. I can't figure out why I somehow just knew John's ring would come back to me. Two years ago, I would have been a wreck; now, I was upset, of course, but didn't collapse. I looked at sweet Raleigh, who had so patiently retraced our entire route instead of us continuing on and out to the residential streets nearby, and thought, "I want my play and snuggle time with this sweet girl more than I want to go back out there today." My time with her is so precious to me. Honestly, during the first 12 months of COVID, I don't know what I would have done without her. Her mom decided I needed more time with her then, but now we're back to a slightly more normal schedule, so when she is with me, she is the focus of my time, energy, and love. I am fully a member of her pack and she loves nothing more than the rare occasions we can all be together. It was simply amazing to me how many community members stepped up with support, suggestions, and outright, "We're on it!" When we got back from our walk, I texted my local friends and neighbors. Immediately, I got responses of, "You stay with Raleigh. We're going out now to look for it." But having total strangers who had no earthly reason to help me except that we live in the same community also step up like that reminded me that not only are their good people out there, but some are willing to set aside their differences for the good of the whole. John's ring has become something of a talisman for people here too. I was at lunch a couple of days ago with a friend and our server commented about what a nice ring I had on my necklace. I said thanks and told him it was my husband's. He said he was sorry and looked chagrined. I said I'm sorry too, but he shouldn't feel bad about mentioning it. Then my friend pipes up with, "Hey, there's a really great local story about that ring. Want to hear it?" He did and smiled, smiled, and smiled some more. He finally responded with, "I'm not surprised. We are so lucky to live where we do." Then today, I was talking to a newer neighbor who I had forgotten to tell about it being found. She noticed it and said, "You got John's ring back?" I apologized for forgetting to tell her and then said how it all happened. She too smiled and said she was so glad she moved here from our local "large" city (45,000). That too is a wonderful place to live, just busier. It's good to be reminded that we are all just human beings when it comes right down to it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 22, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 22, 2022 Annie, that is how my neighborhood community is also. It is so rare and precious, one of the reasons I stay here, besides the memories, and beauty of nature and wildlife. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted January 29, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 On 1/22/2022 at 2:35 AM, foreverhis said: Thanks. I can't figure out why I somehow just knew John's ring would come back to me. Two years ago, I would have been a wreck; now, I was upset, of course, but didn't collapse. I looked at sweet Raleigh, who had so patiently retraced our entire route instead of us continuing on and out to the residential streets nearby, and thought, "I want my play and snuggle time with this sweet girl more than I want to go back out there today." My time with her is so precious to me. Honestly, during the first 12 months of COVID, I don't know what I would have done without her. Her mom decided I needed more time with her then, but now we're back to a slightly more normal schedule, so when she is with me, she is the focus of my time, energy, and love. I am fully a member of her pack and she loves nothing more than the rare occasions we can all be together. Understood...when I inherited my beloved's dog, he was nothing less than a lifeline for me in so many ways. Living "alone" he reminded me I wasn't totally alone, and his unconditional love was so so vital, esp given how our "friends" abandoned me, even turned on me in some cases. And because her family was also a wreck, he was effectively my last real tangible link to her. When I put him down a few years ago, I regressed almost to the point I was when I lost her. I guess that's just a rambling, self-indulgent way of saying I get it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 29, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 10 hours ago, widower2 said: Understood...when I inherited my beloved's dog, he was nothing less than a lifeline for me in so many ways. Living "alone" he reminded me I wasn't totally alone, and his unconditional love was so so vital, esp given how our "friends" abandoned me, even turned on me in some cases. And because her family was also a wreck, he was effectively my last real tangible link to her. When I put him down a few years ago, I regressed almost to the point I was when I lost her. Oh widower, I am so sorry, and I truly get it. I went through the same thing. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted January 30, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 I'm so sorry as well Kay. It's amazing how much they come to mean to us. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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