I don't think I'll ever get over my Dad

[Maggie may]

A month and 3 days after I turned 22, my Dad was gone, he and my mum were seperate for years so we were in different cities. Just a phone call to say You're Dad is dead. It was very sudden not an illness, just a one day he's there, the next he's not. The last think I said to him was that 'I fucking hate you, and I never want to speak to you again'  That was on my birthday 4th May. He died 7th of June. I thought he was drinking again.. He wasn't but after I was so horrible he did start again, then had an accident in his flat, and died there alone. Its been 12 years and Im no further along with dealing with it. 

[reader]

Dear Maggie may,

Losing a parent is one of life's toughest moments. I don't think any of us ever get over our parents.  It's been 5 years for me and I still think about the last day with my dad. I have deep regrets about the last two years of his life. I wished things could be different still. I found this article and it gave me some comfort.

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/i-don-t-want-to-get-over-my-father-s-death

[CLC44]

Dear Maggie, 

I lost my dad about a month and half after my 19th birthday 7 years ago. Your healing path is your own. Don’t rush it. I have found more peace in feeling the sadness and despair than I have looking back on my progress. My family doesn’t see my progress but it’s only because they can’t see how broken I was 2, 4, or 7 years ago. We can’t live in our grief but I find it helpful to visit it time from time and let it flood me. I usually come out of it feeling closer to him. 
Don’t belittle how much you have done and don’t be wary of how far you can go.