Anxiety

[Anonn]

I posted on this forum a few weeks ago after my dads death and since coming into the new year I just feel so anxious. I feel confused about my career and I recently got married and haven’t been able to go on holiday yet with my husband due to covid. I just feel like my life’s going to whizz by and I’m not going to enjoy it as I’m going to be constantly worrying about the future. My dad would have been able to reassure me. I’m stressing even to the point about kids and thinking that I’ll want to have kids in a few years as  I don’t want to be an old parent but then stressing about my career at the same time and how I won’t have the time to sort things about before having them. I just want time to slow down. I don’t know it’s so confusing. It’s just so daunting coming into a new year with the loss I’ve had and just worrying about the future. I don’t know if my worries are directly related to my dad or if I’d experience them anyway? Maybe the new year blues? 

[reader]

Dear Anonn,

Please know these thoughts and feelings and worries are normal. It's all part of grief and starting a new year.  I know many people suggest not making any major decisions for the first year after losing a loved one. I was so raw after losing my dad. Nothing felt real anymore. I would suggest taking your time. And it might be helpful to talk to a grief counsellor or join a support group.

[Jen H]

I totally agree not to make any rushed decisions.  Your grieve is too fresh and deep right now.  Your only probably  causing more anxiety for yourself.  I believe everything will fall into place in due time.  Right now you need to  take time to deal with your grieve the best you can even if it's just waking up and getting through the day.  That's a huge feat just to be able to face each day.  Going about things slowly will help you make better decisions. Just know I believe your dad is still around you.  It might help to write to him in a journal.