He was gone too soon

[Violet Coffee]

My father died 2 weeks into November of 2021 from a tumor which in my family it's extremely genetic to get cancer. I didn't know him well because we had a complicated family. He was basically a deadbeat dad my entire life and only to me, never to my 4 half brothers or my half sister. I was the black sheep of the siblings and he couldn't even do the slightest thing as to remember my birthday but he could remember the others and my mom's, and every year I wished him the best, the exact day of his birthday. I'm 15 years old and last year he remembered my 15th birthday and wished me on the day of but I was out driving with my mom because I had just got my permit so he had to leave a voicemail. A few months later he got diagnosed with a tumor that he only had 5% chance to live and had 1 year left. Then I was so upset and pissed off that I missed his birthday for the first time... a month later he died and my oldest brother waited 2 days to tell me. I haven't been able to let out anything because I never knew him except on phone calls and my mom really loved him and knew him so I've been being her rock for almost 2 months and on top I'm trying to keep a 4.0 gpa so I can graduate this year. So I guess my question is, is there anyway to speed up my own grief because I don't have the time and I've been staying up all night crying for weeks. Please help, I need this to be gone before people notice!

[reader]

Dear Violet,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Please know there is no fixed timeline to grief. And sadly no way to speed things up. We all go through it differently. If you can, maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor at school or joining a support group for additional support. I know it's very hard given everything you are dealing with but take your time with grief. And know that all your thoughts and feelings and tears are normal and natural.