I lost my 20 year old son on 10/17 from gun violence

[Angel Peterson]

On October 17th my son Sean was shot 5 times and died in my arms. Him and I lived in the same apartment building, he stayed 2 floors exactly below me. I was on my patio that night smoking a cigarette and about to go to bed. I heard a bunch of gunshots right under my feet n then I heard my son screaming my name. I ran down to him as fast as possible, seeing the back of one of his killers only 7 steps in front of me. I had a choice to chase after them or get to my son. I went straight to Sean who was still alive, talking to me and then he died in my arms before the police/ambulance finally got inside. I am having such a hard time. He was my best friend, my baby boy. He was with me early mornings sitting on the patio drinking coffee and watching the sun rise and he stayed with me till I would go to sleep. I don’t know how to deal with this and every day is getting harder and harder. I no longer have the will to live even though I have 3 other kids and 8 grandchildren. I miss him so much, he didn’t even have any babies of his own yet. We were going to celebrate his 21st bday on January 4th. I don’t want to deal with this pain anymore especially every day for the rest of my life. I feel like no one understands me. No one knows my pain, no one knows what it feels like to not only lose your son but to watch him die right in your arms. I don’t know what to do, but I know I don’t want to go on anymore feeling like I do everyday. This is the worst pain I have ever felt, it’s so deep and chilling and I don’t know why God hates me so much to take my baby away and do it right in front of my eyes. I don’t want to close my eyes because of the nightmares and I don’t want to keep my eyes open because of the pain…I just want to be with him….n his 2 killers still have not been caught 

[Changed]

Angel - I do understand how awful you are feeling - there is a place here for you to come to and share your feelings with others .   ‘Loss of an Adult Son’   has other parents who have lost their boys earlier this year who can offer comfort and support .    I hope you get this message and make your way over there.  Peace to you.

[4everTyce]

Angel,

I lost my only child at 19 to gun violence. He was my world. My life is an empty void and although I am alive, I am dead. I died that day with him. My sons murder remains unsolved even though there were 13 people in the house that night.  I know how you feel. I am sorry for your loss. 

[yostkimberly23]

Dear Angel..I am so very sorry for your loss. I am new to this, but I made a promise to myself when my daughter died on 12/28/2021 that I would try and pay forward the kindness that was given to my family and I. My daughter was a victim of domestic violence, and I too don't know how I will continue without her. Her killer is in jail currently but I can't seem to even find relief in that. I wish I could just go back a few short weeks ago but I can't. I'm broken in pieces. I pray you get justice for the death of your sweet son, and that God leads you through your pain.