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Rules for dating a Widow


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I have been dating a widow with 2 kids for almost 3 years now where her late husband passed 8 years ago and I need some advice.  I totally understand and respect the pictures in her house due to her kids, celebrating his death anniversary, his birthday, their wedding anniversary with some kind of celebration with her kids during those days but is it normal for her to post all of that as well on social media for everyone to see, comment and all that where she has never posted anything about our anniversary or recognized me as her new partner.  Since I have never dated a widow before, I am trying to be very understanding and sympathetic and figure out the ground rules but it’s very hard to sit here and feel like our relationship is hidden.  

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Dear MtonyNJ,

You sound like a very thoughtful and kind partner. I can imagine it's very hard. I do think it's normal for her to honor her late husband in this way and especially for the kids. She does not want him to be forgotten. And she probably is struggling to find that balance herself between her former life and new life. I would try talking to her and hopefully with more time she will be more open about the relationship with you.

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