Members Popular Post ScotJ65 Posted October 23, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 23, 2021 It'll be a year in November since I lost my precious Lesleyanne. We were only together 6 years before she was taken from me at the age of 54. In that time she gave me more joy than I could ever have wished for. When she died of Huntingdon's disease, my world caved in and I really didn't see any way I could live without her. I still get days when I feel like giving up on life, but they're less frequent now. I just seem to find the strength from somewhere to go on in this broken world. I'm truly convinced that one day we'll be together again in heaven or some concept of heaven. So for everyone out there who has lost a loved one, I know your heart is breaking. Please just hold on. Keep going and it'll heal a little bit more every day. God bless you all. 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post tnd Posted October 23, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 23, 2021 Thank you for sharing that with us, ScotJ65. I am sorry for your loss. It's only been a few months since I lost my husband. Seems unbearable at times. It helps to know that you still find the strength to carry on. Like you said, "Keep going and it'll heal a little bit more every day". I think the operative word here is "heal". We all need healing. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScotJ65 Posted October 23, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2021 Hi tnd, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know those first few months are the worst, when the grief is overwhelming. I find it a great comfort coming on here and just venting my feelings. May your heavy heart feel lighter with the passing of each and every day. James. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted October 23, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 23, 2021 2 minutes ago, ScotJ65 said: May your heavy heart feel lighter with the passing of each and every day. ScotJ65: Thank you for that. This is why I come on here, too. I know I will have the support I need and no less from others who are in pain and grieving. I get more support from those on here than I do in my life offline. Go figure. You'd think everyone on here would be too consumed and exhausted by their own grief...but obviously they want to help because they know the pain. Thank you so much. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post ScotJ65 Posted October 23, 2021 Author Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 23, 2021 4 minutes ago, tnd said: I get more support from those on here than I do in my life offline. tnd Yes, I know exactly what you mean. There was some support at first from family and a few close friends but after a short while just faded away. Of course I understand everyone is busy with the stresses and strains of daily life. But this place feels like a community, in fact for myself, and I'd imagine anyone else grieving right now, it feels like 'home'. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post foreverhis Posted October 24, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 24, 2021 On 10/23/2021 at 3:30 PM, ScotJ65 said: But this place feels like a community, in fact for myself, and I'd imagine anyone else grieving right now, it feels like 'home'. It does. It continues to be for me, which is why I come here most every day. Sometimes I read and others I write as well. Even though I still somehow have a small, loving circle around me locally and at something of a distance, none of them can fully understand because this devastating loss hasn't happened to them. In truth, I want it to be a very, very long time before they do "get it" the way we do. Though a few more casual friends have completely drifted away, the others are here for me and some local friendships have grown stronger over time. I know I am incredibly lucky in that way and I do not take that grace in my life for granted. My John and I evolved in our beliefs to a more universal faith than the religions in which we'd been raised. Yet we kept a strong faith that there are mysteries and wonders in this amazing universe of ours that our human minds simply cannot understand. We have faith that there is something and somewhere beyond this life and that the somewhere is wonderful, what most people call heaven. John and I could not possibly speculate how it might be, but we kept the faith that it is there. Now, I keep faith that he is there. I hope so much that when it's my time, he will be waiting for me with a loving heart and open arms, having forgiven me for all my faults and failing as I have long ago forgiven him for his. We are, after all, only human and I don't think we're meant to be perfect; I believe we are meant to try our best, ask forgiveness for mistakes, and forgive others for theirs. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted October 24, 2021 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted October 24, 2021 15 hours ago, ScotJ65 said: It'll be a year in November since I lost my precious Lesleyanne. We were only together 6 years before she was taken from me at the age of 54. In that time she gave me more joy than I could ever have wished for. When she died of Huntingdon's disease, my world caved in and I really didn't see any way I could live without her. I still get days when I feel like giving up on life, but they're less frequent now. I just seem to find the strength from somewhere to go on in this broken world. I'm truly convinced that one day we'll be together again in heaven or some concept of heaven. So for everyone out there who has lost a loved one, I know your heart is breaking. Please just hold on. Keep going and it'll heal a little bit more every day. God bless you all. Your timeline is much as ours, met in our mid-40s, he died 6 1/2 years later, only married 3 years 8 months to the day. Each day precious. I don't give up, although I sure felt like it in the early time, not suicidal but didn't want to go through what I knew I'd have to to live. Not that the thought never occurred to me, I think it comes to many of us unbidden in the early grief. We just don't see how we'll do this. or want to. I no longer consider whether I do this as an option, it's just put one foot forward and do it. No matter what assails me. And damn if life doesn't get tough sometimes! And lonely. I thank God for my sweet puppy, Kodie. Yes indeed, hold on. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted October 30, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 On 10/23/2021 at 4:47 PM, ScotJ65 said: I know your heart is breaking. Please just hold on. Keep going and it'll heal a little bit more every day. Back at you. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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