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Lost my mom to cancer


Parker McIlwain

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Parker McIlwain

I lost my mom to stomach cancer on May 9th, 2021. Life without her SUCKS! She fought with everything she had for 10.5 months and then the cancer spread to her brain and spinal fluid and she was gone within one week. I am traumatized from this entire experience, I didn’t know a human heart could handle or survive such trauma. I would love to hear from others in the same boat. It’s so hard and so unfair when you bury your mom at 22 years old. She was only 53 and NOT ready to die at all.

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im so sorry for your loss, i lost my mom back in march to lung cancer and i’m 18 so i relate to the pain of losing a parent at such a young age. i understand how traumatizing the experience can be, my main point here is it’s easy to feel alone when you lose a parent at a young age, but please know you’re not alone in feeling this and your emotions are valid. always remember to take care of yourself, just know you’re not alone. 

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I lost my mom to lung cancer as well 3 years ago next week.  Some days it feels like you will be fine, then other days the grief hits you like a sack of bricks.  Miss her everyday, and covid isolation isn't exactly helping either. But if I may offer some advice as to what helped me? Every night when I'm doing the dishes, I use that quiet time to just talk to my mom out loud like shes right next to me.  I can often hear her voice in my heart and just understanding what I'm feeling, just like if she was still alive. Maybe worth a try?

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Hi, all, I'm new to this site and hope to connect with others who are in search of like minded souls in search of support and healing after the loss of a loved one. My mother passed away 11 years ago due to pancreatic cancer. She received the diagnosis and within 7 months she was gone at the age of 71. Although we had a troubling relationship, I loved my mother with all my heart and did what I could do to make her last days as comfortable as possible. During her illness, then death and years later, I haven't been able to grieve her loss completely due to the cruelty and abandonment from family members and (friends that I thought I had), and even a job at the time that fired me because I was on disability due to grief and was not ready to return. And now, years later, the grief is still here and resurfacing because I didn't have a chance to properly grieve. This year, I also loss two cousins to COVID complications, my eldest furbaby had to be euthanized, and my first significant other died unexpectently from a stroke in October. These losses have overwhelmed me, in the midst of other stressors like work and COVID fears. I'm having trouble sleeping, concentrating, and overall major anxieties. I have a book that a friend gave to me years ago, "Motherless Daughters" that I'm beginning to read that I hope will help, and I've also started seeing a therapist through my EAP at work. But I also need to be able to commune with others, hopefully, like on this site that understands the pain and grief and the need to find solace and healing.

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Today was an especially rough day for me. I started the process of calling up my mom's credit cards to cancel them and notify them of her passing. Every time I had to tell the credit card she passed away, just uttering the words passed away almost instantly caused me to sob out loud. It took everything I had to get through the call without crying uncontrollably. I also for the first time got a copy of my mom's death certificate. As I was looking at it I felt as if it wasn't real. I kept saying to myself I'm reading my mom's death certificate. It seemed just surreal. And once again I burst out crying uncontrollably. I hope everyone else experiencing the same thing can find a little bit of Peace in the days going forward. I know I'm my own case a week later it really isn't getting any better.

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On 11/15/2021 at 10:42 PM, brianslin said:

I lost my mom to lung cancer as well 3 years ago next week.  Some days it feels like you will be fine, then other days the grief hits you like a sack of bricks.  Miss her everyday, and covid isolation isn't exactly helping either. But if I may offer some advice as to what helped me? Every night when I'm doing the dishes, I use that quiet time to just talk to my mom out loud like shes right next to me.  I can often hear her voice in my heart and just understanding what I'm feeling, just like if she was still alive. Maybe worth a try?

Such excellent advice I’ve been doing the same. I talk to her all the time ( even out loud) I do not ever dream her maybe it’s because I am so angry she left without saying goodbye but I know one day I will 

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mom died of metastatic breast cancer when i was 23. simultaneously feel like the experience has aged me a lot but also feel like i'm still 23 and stuck in stasis... it also doesn't help that mom's (and other family members') cancer has put me at higher risk for various cancers myself, which my doctor will Not let me forget. saw a genetic counselor in october and i was the youngest person in the waiting room by a good 45 years and boy did that feel bizarre

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