Members Popular Post sunshine_bunny Posted October 19, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 19, 2021 it’s been exactly 11 days since my boyfriend passed away, but it’s felt like forever. i’m nearly 17, we’d been dating since we were 14. i know i probably sound silly, bur we were truly high school sweethearts. we were so close and head over heels for eachother. every day i spent with him i fell in love over and over again. neither of our family lives or home situations were the best, and he was always there for me when my parents never were. i feel terrible he passed so young. i wanted to grow up with him and take care of him and show him how it feels to be loved all day every day. we wanted to travel the world together, live on the beach, and live our best lives. together. i feel like i’ve lost part of me and i’m so confused, upset, tired, and broken. he passed away from covid, although he fought so so hard. he was so scared of dying, and it haunts me knowing he truly feared this would happen to him. the last thing he had texted me before going into a three week long coma was that he’d see me soon. i don’t understand how this happened to him or why he was taken away so early. i hurt so bad knowing i grow older every day, but he’ll always be 16. he’ll never be here to hold me again. he’ll never be here to fulfill our dreams together- or his personal dreams. he wanted to cook. he wanted to write. he wanted to draw. but he’ll never be able to again. i know he’s watching over me but things are so so difficult. does it ever get better? i’m so scared that moving on means letting go of him. i’m really hurt and confused and just need some advice and support. thank you, all. i’m sorry for the length. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted October 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2021 I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing someone you love is difficult, and it's tragic that he was so young and you never got to realize the future you both had dreamed of. It's a rough journey we're all on, but finding this group where everyone understands and offers compassion helped me more than I can say. I also journaled a lot in the beginning. It helped me a lot to write my thoughts down, letters to my husband, whatever I needed. If there were things you didn't get to say to him or you just need to write down your feelings, maybe it will help you too. Hang in there...I'll be praying for you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jen H Posted October 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2021 It's been 15 days for me. We are going through this together. You are not alone! 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 19, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 19, 2021 I am truly sorry for your loss. It's enormously unfair that one should die so young, somehow that seems the most grievous of all. My heart goes out to you. I hope you'll continue coming here, we're listening. Tips to Make Your Way through Grief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 19, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 19, 2021 14 hours ago, sunshine_bunny said: does it ever get better? Yes, although we're never truly "over it." My SIL lost her college sweetheart, her fiance. She did go on to marry a wonderful man and have a child, but she never ever forgot her fiance of her youth, and her husband understood that. 14 hours ago, sunshine_bunny said: i’m so scared that moving on means letting go of him We never "move on" from grief, although people will sometimes tell us to...they don't "get it." We DO try to move forward with our lives, but the timeline is different for each of us. Today would have been our 20th anniversary, we didn't quite get four, we were so happy together, it didn't seem fair...because there is nothing fair about it. No one remembers anymore but me, I alone remember his deathaversary, our anniversary, everything special about him although my kids remember him. My son recently put up George's bow in his living room, in a prominent place, in remembrance of him, I hope George can see that. We honor them in our own way, and try to find purpose for our lives as best as we can but it can take a long time to discover it and it might be a quiet knowing rather than a big realization in our lives. You will find your way. Continuing beyond physical death Continuing Bonds - rituals, world, body, life, beliefs, cause, time, person, human Continuing Bonds - WYG Continuing Relationships 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted October 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 19, 2021 @KayC Thinking of you on your anniversary today. Sending a hug your way... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 20, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 20, 2021 Thank you, Darlene...the day didn't go well, my sister had a stroke and other sister yelled at me (she does that when she can't handle things)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted October 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2021 I'm so sorry, Kay. Some days are just rotten from start to finish, it seems like. I hope your sister makes a full recovery. I'll keep you both in my prayers. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Malisacher Posted October 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2021 I’m so sorry Kay ….prayers for you and your sister 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 21, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 21, 2021 Today she's able to talk. I've been after electricians for MONTHS to come out and replace her panel, finally today they're doing it! She'll be w/o electricity today so I'm taking Kodie (puppy) to entertain her and bringing lunch to her. I ordered her some Bromelain to thin her blood and help with her arthritis, she's allergic to aspirin so can't take it. Most would take this as a wake up call but not her, she refuses medical help and won't even get checked out, which is so essential. I have to let go of what I cannot change (her). Thank you for your prayers! She's very disabled and has dementia and her husband died 9/23/20 so she's been on my plate since...but no POA, don't even have a copy of her will. Eventually she'll fall to the state as I can only do so much for her w/o neglecting my own health, which I did for the first year but no longer can. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted October 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2021 9 hours ago, KayC said: I've been after electricians for MONTHS to come out and replace her panel, Kay, wish I was closer and in the same country, I would have done the panel for her. Anyway, I'm glad it's getting done finally. You take care of yourself as well because you have a lot on your plate. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chuo Posted October 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2021 I'm really sorry for your loss, also at such a young age. I don't believe there is a moving on, but a getting better at handling things. There's no forgetting the loved ones that we've lost along the way. And this video helped me process that soon after my loss, I hope it helps you too: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted October 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 22, 2021 I'm glad she's able to talk, Kay. What a tremendous amount of stress on you with her refusing medical help. Wish I lived nearby to lend you a hand too...take care of yourself. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 22, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 22, 2021 16 hours ago, Chuo said: I don't believe there is a moving on, but a getting better at handling things. Thank you, I have saved that video, very good and perfect for the topic at hand. Thank you Sparky and Darlene. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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