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boyfriend gone at 16


sunshine_bunny

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I'm very sorry for your loss.  Losing someone you love is difficult, and it's tragic that he was so young and you never got to realize the future you both had dreamed of. 

It's a rough journey we're all on, but finding this group where everyone understands and offers compassion helped me more than I can say.   I also journaled a lot in the beginning.  It helped me a lot to write my thoughts down, letters to my husband, whatever I needed.   If there were things you didn't get to say to him or you just need to write down your feelings, maybe it will help you too.   

Hang in there...I'll be praying for you.

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It's been 15 days for me. We are going through this together. You are not alone!  

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14 hours ago, sunshine_bunny said:

does it ever get better?

Yes, although we're never truly "over it."  My SIL lost her college sweetheart, her fiance.  She did go on to marry a wonderful man and have a child, but she never ever forgot her fiance of her youth, and her husband understood that.  

 

14 hours ago, sunshine_bunny said:

i’m so scared that moving on means letting go of him

We never "move on" from grief, although people will sometimes tell us to...they don't "get it."
We DO try to move forward with our lives, but the timeline is different for each of us.  Today would have been our 20th anniversary, we didn't quite get four, we were so happy together, it didn't seem fair...because there is nothing fair about it.  No one remembers anymore but me, I alone remember his deathaversary, our anniversary, everything special about him although my kids remember him.  My son recently put up George's bow in his living room, in a prominent place, in remembrance of him, I hope George can see that.  We honor them in our own way, and try to find purpose for our lives as best as we can but it can take a long time to discover it and it might be a quiet knowing rather than a big realization in our lives.  You will find your way.
Continuing beyond physical death
Continuing Bonds - rituals, world, body, life, beliefs, cause, time, person, human
Continuing Bonds - WYG
Continuing Relationships

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Thank you, Darlene...the day didn't go well, my sister had a stroke and other sister yelled at me (she does that when she can't handle things)...

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I'm so sorry, Kay.  Some days are just rotten from start to finish, it seems like. I hope your sister makes a full recovery.  I'll keep you both in my prayers.  

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Today she's able to talk.  I've been after electricians for MONTHS to come out and replace her panel, finally today they're doing it!  She'll be w/o electricity today so I'm taking Kodie (puppy) to entertain her and bringing lunch to her.  I ordered her some Bromelain to thin her blood and help with her arthritis, she's allergic to aspirin so can't take it.  Most would take this as a wake up call but not her, she refuses medical help and won't even get checked out, which is so essential.  I have to let go of what I cannot change (her).  

Thank you for your prayers!  She's very disabled and has dementia and her husband died 9/23/20 so she's been on my plate since...but no POA, don't even have a copy of her will.  Eventually she'll fall to the state as I can only do so much for her w/o neglecting my own health, which I did for the first year but no longer can.

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9 hours ago, KayC said:

I've been after electricians for MONTHS to come out and replace her panel,

Kay, wish I was closer and in the same country, I would have done the panel for  her. Anyway, I'm glad it's getting done finally. You take care of yourself as well because you have a lot on your plate. 

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I'm really sorry for your loss, also at such a young age.

I don't believe there is a moving on, but a getting better at handling things. There's no forgetting the loved ones that we've lost along the way. And this video helped me process that soon after my loss, I hope it helps you too:

 

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I'm glad she's able to talk, Kay.   What a tremendous amount of stress on you with her refusing medical help.  Wish I lived nearby to lend you a hand too...take care of yourself.

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16 hours ago, Chuo said:

I don't believe there is a moving on, but a getting better at handling things.

Thank you, I have saved that video, very good and perfect for the topic at hand. 

Thank you Sparky and Darlene.

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