Members Popular Post Jen H Posted October 17, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 17, 2021 Why did I find two abandoned kittens that same day? Was it from him, God, fate, coincidence? I already have a cat at least 15 years old now. I talked about getting a young dog and cat when she passed away. Thought maybe getting a kitten and she would accept it in time but decided no. He told me to do it that she would be ok. Even though Kitty (my cat) hates them and they are a handful, I can't seem to get rid of them. I've tried kinda to but no luck anyway. They have given me moments of laughter and have kept me very busy playing with them and especially cleaning after them. Though they do stress me out too. I just hope I am not stressing my cat out to death. She and they have vet appts.soon. We will see what happens. Their names are Coby and Pepper. I think they are boys. Named after my heart and soul C.P. I hope everyone can find at least moments of laughter and joy everyday. It's only been two weeks and I have laughed at least for a moment everyday, even with that emptiness and anxiety hidden within me. It is not like it disappears. Will it ever? I don't know. It's scary thinking about it but push on for the good moments hopefully will become minutes, hours, maybe a whole day, one day. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted October 17, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 17, 2021 It sounds like they just might have been sent your way for a purpose! I lost my husband over a year ago, and my two dogs, especially my silly beagle, have made me laugh so many times when I didn't even want to smile. I can't imagine how unbearably quiet it would be around here without them. I hope it works out that you are able to keep them. :) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Sparky1 Posted October 17, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 17, 2021 The anxiety has been eating me as well lately. It'll be one year on the 24th that my baby left me. There are good days and then there are really bad days. Being alone is brutal, it gnaws at my insides, I don't know how I've made it to almost a year. I also have a pet dog that keeps me company and sane. I don't think I could've made it without her. She doesn't want to be left alone, she always wants to be near me and then she is happy, otherwise she barks. 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted October 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2021 @Sparky1 I'll be thinking of you as the anniversary approaches. All of this is just so incredibly hard. I'm glad you have a dog to keep you company, too. It helps so much to have a loving pet around. Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted October 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2021 47 minutes ago, Darlene13 said: Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones. Thank you Darlene13. You're absolutely right about our pets being better friends after the loss of our partners. I don't understand how people that promised the world when my wife passed away, don't even bother to call to see if I'm still alive. Other than my wife, I don't think I had faith in any of them. It's a shame that we get deserted when we're most vulnerable. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted October 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2021 @Sparky1 I agree, it's a harsh lesson to learn at the worst possible time. I don't have faith in anyone anymore, either. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post LMR Posted October 18, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 18, 2021 5 hours ago, Sparky1 said: I don't understand how people that promised the world when my wife passed away, don't even bother to call to see if I'm still alive. Not even an email! It hurts to find out how little I matter. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 18, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 18, 2021 17 hours ago, Jen H said: It is not like it disappears. Will it ever? No it doesn't, but you are on the right path, look for some minute joy every day, I'm sure the kittens will bring you such smiles. I too had a Kitty (named before I met her at age 10, acquired her fully at 12) she lived to 25, healthy up to the end. Her only vet visit was to be euthanized. She'd been crudely spayed by someone (NOT a vet) as I found the twine hanging out of her belly and clipped it off, I didn't want to think about what all she'd been through in her life before me. I promised her a forever home as she'd been abandoned more times than anyone could count, grew up in a trailer court in Portland OR, drug addicts, given birth to all of the kittens/cats in the trailer court. I got her history from the manager. She loved her retirement with me, living in the country, having a warm bed/home to stay in, regular food, love and care...and all the Easy Cheese she could demand! 13 hours ago, Darlene13 said: It sounds like they just might have been sent your way for a purpose! I lost my husband over a year ago, and my two dogs, especially my silly beagle, have made me laugh so many times when I didn't even want to smile. I can't imagine how unbearably quiet it would be around here without them. I hope it works out that you are able to keep them. I'm so glad you have them! Animals have made all the difference to me in living alone...16 years now. 13 hours ago, Sparky1 said: The anxiety has been eating me as well lately. It'll be one year on the 24th that my baby left me. There are good days and then there are really bad days. Being alone is brutal, it gnaws at my insides, I don't know how I've made it to almost a year. I also have a pet dog that keeps me company and sane. I don't think I could've made it without her. She doesn't want to be left alone, she always wants to be near me and then she is happy, otherwise she barks. Six days...you will deserve this trophy for making it through a year of "firsts without," the longest year of my life, can't say it's gotten any shorter now but I'm more accustomed to the quiet. Making decisions on my own, no one here to care for me or hold me. But my Arlie and now my Kodie have made all the difference in the world to me, I miss Kitty and Missy Mocha too. 13 hours ago, Darlene13 said: Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones. Absolutely! I'd take a dog over most humans any day! Although it sounds like all of us were blessed to have our mates. LMR, you matter to us, people tell me things like "How can you be on grief forums every day! Seems it'd be depressing..." Can't explain it to someone who hasn't been through it, you all ARE my family! The ones that get it, the ones that care, you relate... 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted October 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2021 22 hours ago, Jen H said: I hope everyone can find at least moments of laughter and joy everyday. It's only been two weeks and I have laughed at least for a moment everyday, even with that emptiness and anxiety hidden within me. It is not like it disappears. Will it ever? I don't know. It's scary thinking about it but push on for the good moments hopefully will become minutes, hours, maybe a whole day, one day. Jen H: Good advice. Thank you for sharing. I might spend some of my time crying but, at the end of the day I count my blessings. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted October 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2021 23 hours ago, Jen H said: Why did I find two abandoned kittens that same day? Was it from him, God, fate, coincidence? Jen H: I'd say they are a gift. Whether or not the kittens were sent from your beloved I don't know, I would say so but, just in general I tend to think that animals are a gift to us humans. I have two cats and whether they know it or not, they are helping me. Your boyfriend probably knew that the kittens would help you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScotJ65 Posted October 31, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 On 10/18/2021 at 1:15 AM, Darlene13 said: Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones. Darlene. I couldn't agree with you more. With a few exceptions, I lost faith in humanity a long time ago. I've found out to my cost that the better you are to people the worse they treat you. The world really is screwed up. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScotJ65 Posted October 31, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 On 10/18/2021 at 2:08 AM, Sparky1 said: It's a shame that we get deserted when we're most vulnerable. Sparky. I know exactly what you mean. I think we just have to somehow find the strength from within. On a personal level, I feel very close to God. I pray regularly - although I admit it may not work for everyone - and that keeps me going. If we were to rely solely on other people for support then I think we'd be wasting an awful lot of precious time and energy. And, of course, we always have each other on here too, which is such a blessing. On 10/18/2021 at 2:37 PM, KayC said: Absolutely! I'd take a dog over most humans any day! Although it sounds like all of us were blessed to have our mates. How right you are Kay. Agree 100% 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post ScotJ65 Posted October 31, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 On 10/18/2021 at 7:55 AM, LMR said: Not even an email! It hurts to find out how little I matter. LMR You certainly matter on here, as do all of us. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Sparky1 Posted October 31, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 7 hours ago, ScotJ65 said: Sparky. I know exactly what you mean. I think we just have to somehow find the strength from within. On a personal level, I feel very close to God. I pray regularly - although I admit it may not work for everyone - and that keeps me going. If we were to rely solely on other people for support then I think we'd be wasting an awful lot of precious time and energy. And, of course, we always have each other on here too, which is such a blessing ScotJ65, I also pray every morning and every evening, I don't think I would have made it without His help. I'm still here and I have to live my life that He gave me. It's not easy of course, but like you said, who can we rely on, when everyone leads their own lives? Thankfully I have good neighbours, and they've always asked if I need something. The people on this forum are like a second family to me and I appreciate everyone here, we all have something in common and we understand each other. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted November 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 On 10/31/2021 at 11:14 AM, ScotJ65 said: I've found out to my cost that the better you are to people the worse they treat you. ScotJ65: Been there, done that. But because I don't know which ones are going to be wicked, I still try to be good to people. What I've learned however, is that once they show their wicked side then that's it. I'm done with them. I don't let them continue hurting me. I'm in a situation right now that I can't necessarily get out of that quickly so in order to survive, I am having to roll with it. But believe me, my trust has been broken and I now know who the wicked players are. They can't hurt me anymore...I see them for who they are and wear my armor. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post tnd Posted November 2, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 On 10/31/2021 at 6:35 PM, Sparky1 said: ScotJ65, I also pray every morning and every evening, I don't think I would have made it without His help. I'm still here and I have to live my life that He gave me. It's not easy of course, but like you said, who can we rely on, when everyone leads their own lives? Sparky1: I have been going through a nitemare and these past few days were especially hard. And it's not over yet. But I pray and have conversations with God. I know that no matter what, He will provide for me. I may not see it right away but know He will do it. My faith and trust in God is strengthening. Still going to have hardships and a lot of stress and fear but, I have hope only because I choose to see that none of what I am going through right now will be forever. God will provide for me...He knows I am in dire straights. I want to come out of this alive now because I want to be my husband's hero. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 3, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 18 hours ago, tnd said: My faith and trust in God is strengthening. I am glad. That is the strongest bolster we can have. 18 hours ago, tnd said: I choose to see that none of what I am going through right now will be forever. I just gave this advice to a friend going through a divorce after 50 years...her church judged her, friends turned against her, etc. I know what that's like, I went through it 21 years ago after 23 years, in our case HE filed and people took his side, never even talking to me about mine...I wasn't talking anyway, I hibernated like a turtle pulling into his shell. It seems people react one way or the other in divorce, either hibernating or eliciting sympathy. I told her I got up every morning, looked in the mirror and told myself, "It won't be like this forever." And it wasn't. I also put up a sign I'd see every day that said, "You are valuable." Even if people don't think so, God does. I am much stronger for having gone through this but it was hell at the time. I pray for strength for you continually. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted November 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 4 hours ago, KayC said: I also put up a sign I'd see every day that said, "You are valuable." KayC: Positive affirmations are very helpful and they work. I plan on using them again when I get my own place, perhaps as "home decor". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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