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A gift from him?


Jen H

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It sounds like they just might have been sent your way for a purpose!  I lost my husband over a year ago, and my two dogs, especially my silly beagle, have made me laugh so many times when I didn't even want to smile.  I can't imagine how unbearably quiet it would be around here without them.  I hope it works out that you are able to keep them.  :)

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@Sparky1  I'll be thinking of you as the anniversary approaches. All of this is just so incredibly hard.  I'm glad you have a dog to keep you company, too.  It helps so much to have a loving pet around.  Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones.

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47 minutes ago, Darlene13 said:

Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones.

Thank you Darlene13. You're absolutely right about our pets being better friends after the loss of our partners. I don't understand how people that promised the world when my wife passed away, don't even bother to call to see if I'm still alive. Other than my wife, I don't think I had faith in any of them. It's a shame that we get deserted when we're most vulnerable. 

 

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@Sparky1 I agree, it's a harsh lesson to learn at the worst possible time.  I don't have faith in anyone anymore, either.

 

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17 hours ago, Jen H said:

It is not like it disappears.  Will it ever?

No it doesn't, but you are on the right path, look for some minute joy every day, I'm sure the kittens will bring you such smiles.

I too had a Kitty (named before I met her at age 10, acquired her fully at 12) she lived to 25, healthy up to the end.  Her only vet visit was to be euthanized.  She'd been crudely spayed by someone (NOT a vet) as I found the twine hanging out of her belly and clipped it off, I didn't want to think about what all she'd been through in her life before me.  I promised her a forever home as she'd been abandoned more times than anyone could count, grew up in a trailer court in Portland OR, drug addicts, given birth to all of the kittens/cats in the trailer court.  I got her history from the manager.  She loved her retirement with me, living in the country, having a warm bed/home to stay in, regular food, love and care...and all the Easy Cheese she could demand!

13 hours ago, Darlene13 said:

It sounds like they just might have been sent your way for a purpose!  I lost my husband over a year ago, and my two dogs, especially my silly beagle, have made me laugh so many times when I didn't even want to smile.  I can't imagine how unbearably quiet it would be around here without them.  I hope it works out that you are able to keep them.  :)

I'm so glad you have them!  Animals have made all the difference to me in living alone...16 years now.

13 hours ago, Sparky1 said:

The anxiety has been eating me as well lately.  It'll be one year on the 24th that my baby left me. There are good days and then there are really bad days. Being alone is brutal, it gnaws at my insides, I don't know how  I've made it to almost a year. I also have a pet dog that keeps me company and sane. I don't think I could've made it without her. She doesn't want to be left alone, she always wants to be near me and then she is happy, otherwise she barks.

Six days...you will deserve this trophy for making it through a year of "firsts without,"  the longest year of my life, can't say it's gotten any shorter now but I'm more accustomed to the quiet.  Making decisions on my own, no one here to care for me or hold me.  But my Arlie and now my Kodie have made all the difference in the world to me, I miss Kitty and Missy Mocha too.

13 hours ago, Darlene13 said:

Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones.

Absolutely!  I'd take a dog over most humans any day!  Although it sounds like all of us were blessed to have our mates.  

LMR, you matter to us, people tell me things like "How can you be on grief forums every day!  Seems it'd be depressing..."  Can't explain it to someone who hasn't been through it, you all ARE my family!  The ones that get it, the ones that care, you relate...

trophy.jpg

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22 hours ago, Jen H said:

I hope everyone can find at least moments of laughter and joy everyday.  It's only been two weeks and I have laughed at least for a moment everyday, even with that emptiness and anxiety hidden within me.  It is not like it disappears.  Will it ever? I don't know.  It's scary thinking about it but push on for the good moments hopefully will become minutes, hours, maybe a whole day, one day.  

Jen H:  Good advice. Thank you for sharing. I might spend some of my time crying but, at the end of the day I count my blessings. 

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23 hours ago, Jen H said:

Why did I find two abandoned kittens that same day?  Was it from him, God, fate, coincidence? 

Jen H:  I'd say they are a gift. Whether or not the kittens were sent from your beloved I don't know, I would say so but, just in general I tend to think that animals are a gift to us humans. I have two cats and whether they know it or not, they are helping me. Your boyfriend probably knew that the kittens would help you.  

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On 10/18/2021 at 1:15 AM, Darlene13 said:

  Sometimes I think my dogs have been better friends to me during this nightmare than the human ones.

Darlene. I couldn't agree with you more. With a few exceptions, I lost faith in humanity a long time ago. I've found out to my cost that the better you are to people the worse they treat you. The world really is screwed up. 

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On 10/18/2021 at 2:08 AM, Sparky1 said:

It's a shame that we get deserted when we're most vulnerable. 

Sparky. I know exactly what you mean. I think we just have to somehow find the strength from within. On a personal level, I feel very close to God. I pray regularly - although I admit it may not work for everyone - and that keeps me going. If we were to rely solely on other people for support then I think we'd be wasting an awful lot of precious time and energy. And, of course, we always have each other on here too, which is such a blessing.

On 10/18/2021 at 2:37 PM, KayC said:

Absolutely!  I'd take a dog over most humans any day!  Although it sounds like all of us were blessed to have our mates.  

How right you are Kay. Agree 100%

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On 10/31/2021 at 11:14 AM, ScotJ65 said:

I've found out to my cost that the better you are to people the worse they treat you.

ScotJ65:  Been there, done that. But because I don't know which ones are going to be wicked, I still try to be good to people. What I've learned however, is that once they show their wicked side then that's it. I'm done with them. I don't let them continue hurting me. I'm in a situation right now that I can't necessarily get out of that quickly so in order to survive, I am having to roll with it. But believe me, my trust has been broken and I now know who the wicked players are. They can't hurt me anymore...I see them for who they are and wear my armor.   

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18 hours ago, tnd said:

My faith and trust in God is strengthening.

I am glad.  That is the strongest bolster we can have.

 

18 hours ago, tnd said:

I choose to see that none of what I am going through right now will be forever.

I just gave this advice to a friend going through a divorce after 50 years...her church judged her, friends turned against her, etc.  I know what that's like, I went through it 21 years ago after 23 years, in our case HE filed and people took his side, never even talking to me about mine...I wasn't talking anyway, I hibernated like a turtle pulling into his shell.  It seems people react one way or the other in divorce, either hibernating or eliciting sympathy.  

I told her I got up every morning, looked in the mirror and told myself, "It won't be like this forever."  And it wasn't.  I also put up a sign I'd see every day that said, "You are valuable."  Even if people don't think so, God does.  I am much stronger for having gone through this but it was hell at the time.

I pray for strength for you continually.

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4 hours ago, KayC said:

I also put up a sign I'd see every day that said, "You are valuable." 

KayC:  Positive affirmations are very helpful and they work. I plan on using them again when I get my own place, perhaps as "home decor".  

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