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My dad passed away 1 month ago, he was my best friend. Now taking care of my mom


imjojo72

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My favorite person in the world and best friend (my daddy) passed away 1 month ago. My mom is not in great health and now the depression is kicking in. She stays up all night and sleeps all day. I am trying to be patient and I am very empathetic, I cant imagine how it must feel to lose your life long partner. BUT I am having an extremely hard time. My dad and I were so close and this pain I feel is horrendous. I don't know what to do, I am spending so much time caring for my moms needs that I am not caring for my own. But she needs me! I don't know how to cope with this properly. I'm worried about my moms health declining, there was no will or living trust so I am trying to pick up all the pieces because my mom has memory problems and doesn't know anything about their finances.  my anxiety is through the roof. I just feel like such a wreck. 

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Dear imjojo72,

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is extremely hard to cope with your own grief and to take care of your mom during this very difficult time. The first year of grief is the hardest. I know for myself, I didn't know where to look or even how to ask for help. I would try and see if there is some grief counselling or grief support group in the community or through church. I hope friends and family members will step in and try to help with your mom. I also found these websites offered me additional supports.

Grief in Common - online Zoom groups for support

Grief Share

Grief Recovery Method

Grief Healing Blog

Please know we are with you

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IsThereHopeForMe
On 10/17/2021 at 10:39 AM, imjojo72 said:

My favorite person in the world and best friend (my daddy) passed away 1 month ago. My mom is not in great health and now the depression is kicking in. She stays up all night and sleeps all day. I am trying to be patient and I am very empathetic, I cant imagine how it must feel to lose your life long partner. BUT I am having an extremely hard time. My dad and I were so close and this pain I feel is horrendous. I don't know what to do, I am spending so much time caring for my moms needs that I am not caring for my own. But she needs me! I don't know how to cope with this properly. I'm worried about my moms health declining, there was no will or living trust so I am trying to pick up all the pieces because my mom has memory problems and doesn't know anything about their finances.  my anxiety is through the roof. I just feel like such a wreck. 

I lost my dad too just recently like 3 months back. I felt like my life had also came to a dead end as I've lost many friends over the past few years due to many already have their own family lives and made worst by the pandemic which isolated society further.

My career is a failure as I'm in a mid life crisis with a country which is failing economically. Jobs are hard to come by but I need something to continue on living.

I can feel what you're experiencing, just like you my dad was the only person in the house I talked to daily. We cherished the good times joking and at times we argued.Didn't saw this coming and suddenly he got sick one day and returned home to God in such a sudden.

At least you still have a mom, do not live in regrets and treat her well as you've missed giving the love to your dad. For me, my life is empty and so lonely now made worst of so many worries and uncertainties of what is to come.

Jobless, single, left by both parents without a will and slowly abandoned by all relatives who have their family episodes of issues and hardships.

Life's so hard and difficult for me.

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