Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

I have no one left


Jen H

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I'm very sorry for your loss. You've come to the right place. Everyone on here can relate to each other. It will help with the pain. 

  • Like 3
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Jen H:  I'd go with the hope of making new friends and even possibly gaining a "new family" in the future. I was alone but by virtue of a miracle, I have a new family. They took me in when I had no one. And hopefully I will make more new friends. But because I've had to deal with issues that need my immediate attention, I don't feel like I've been able to properly grieve and so certainly can't think of making more new friends right now. But it helps me to go with the hope that I will be able to. For now I try to think about daily chores that need to be done and as I can, I think of the near future. It acts as a distraction from my pain and heartache. It's only been a few months since I lost my husband but I've already gathered that grief is more of a long journey we have to go on. We need to take our time and go about it as we think we need to. Our pain is our own. Some people cope better than others but everyone still has pain. It's definitely a "learn as you go along" sort of thing. At least for me it is. Some days I do better, other days not. But I try hard to go with the hope that better days are ahead, even if I've got to carry this pain with me into the future and I think I will have to. Grief is very hard on us. Don't be too hard on yourself.   

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
16 hours ago, tnd said:

But I try hard to go with the hope that better days are ahead

:wub:  Keep your hope...

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I hadn't had any tattoos either, it wan't me, but I got our symbol on my butt with his signature underneath it from his handwriting...not to display to others, but for him and I alone...my daughter was a hoot when I showed her so many years ago...we had a cat named George too and she exclaimed, "MOM!!! (moms don't do that?) What if you're ever with someone else?"  Then she immediately dropped her head, looking somber, and quipped, "I always did love that cat..."  The cat died 14 months later than he did.

I HATE the word "acceptance."  To ME it implies it's okay with us.  It will never be okay with us.  I know in psychological terms that's not what it means, but still I prefer the term "realization" to "acceptance."  After 16+ years I good and well know he's gone, duh.  Trust me, I looked.  In every crevice of the house, he wasn't there.  Not in the shop, not in the yard.  It seeps into our realization whether we want it to or not.

We don't "move on" either..  We learn to live with the changes it means for our lives.  We have no choice. 

As far as being "happy" I have learned to not compare today to what was, it comes up wanting every time...but comparisons are joy killers, they devalue our feelings.  Instead I've learned to embrace even an ounce of good that is in today.  I know it sounds far fetched to find even a degree of good in a rainbow or sunset or enjoying a walk with my puppy or a neighbor's wave, a call from a friend, being able to pay the bills, or something good I fix to eat.  All of that might seem a stretch but it is the way of life I have learned to help me through this, the practice of living in the present moment, of gratitude and appreciation for what is rather than merely lamenting what isn't, it took time, effort, and practice, but it's helped me and changed my life.  I started this on day 11 as God put this refrigerator magnet into my path, I believe for a reason.

Find joy in every day.jpg

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.