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Angry, sad and lost


Terryinflorida68

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Terryinflorida68

I lost my dad on Monday Oct 11 2021.. 2 days ago.. he went into the hospital for quadruple bypass. He ended up getting covid right after surgery. Never had a chance to even start to begin to heal from his surgery. We took him off life support on Monday as all of his organs were failing and his lungs where full. There was no hope of recovery so he dies feom Covid. I still can't wrap my head around what is happening. Certainly not what any of us expected. As we're making plans for the funeral and the services, I can't get over the anger. I have so many questions. Nobody seems to have any answers and nobody really seems to care. He was my last remaining parent. So I guess now I live in a new world I'm just trying to adjust. But the anger is really got me.. and my only other sibling lives 1,100 miles away. I could never count on him and I still can't count on him. I'm angry at him too. My brother never got a covid shot so he said he could only do so much and stayed only a short time. He left the state before my dad passed. Thank goodness I do have my husband. He's a wonderful man and very grateful for him. I just hope he can help me get through this. How do you deal with the anger? And to make matters worse, I never really dealt with the death of my mom 8 years ago. I tried but its too painful to fully process.  

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Dear Terry, 

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that feeling anger is normal. It is terribly shocking to lose a parent so suddenly when you expected them to recover and to leave the hospital. I know I was angry too after my dad passed. Like you, I was so disappointed and hurt and angry about my siblings lack of support and understanding and compassion. The first year after my dad's passing I was so raw and cried an ocean of tears. I hope this article helps a little.

https://thriveworks.com/blog/grief-becomes-anger-work-through-grieving-process/

Our thoughts are with you.

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Terryinflorida68

Thank you for your support and feedback.  I will read it today. I'm sorry for your loss.. hugs

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Oizys Miseria

I am also dealing with the loss of my mother.  I do find myself angry for various reasons.  It seems everything everyone says to me irks me. Like when people tell me everything will be OK especially when they haven’t lost anyone.  Why couldn’t she have fought harder?  Why is the universe against me?  I know that may sound silly. My mind is playing tricks on me and I’m left with more questions than answers.  My head goes through a million different scenarios where she is still here.  Thinking of what could have been done differently.

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Dear Oizys,

I hear you and I can relate to everything you said. Feelings of anger and annoyance and irritation at those around us during this sad and difficult time is very common. Looking back my mind was spinning and I too wished things could be different. Going through the what-ifs and woulda, coulda, shoulda. 5 years later I sometimes think why? I found this website helpful.

https://whatsyourgrief.com/guilt-and-grief-2/

Thinking of you.

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IsThereHopeForMe
On 10/14/2021 at 6:40 AM, Terryinflorida68 said:

I lost my dad on Monday Oct 11 2021.. 2 days ago.. he went into the hospital for quadruple bypass. He ended up getting covid right after surgery. Never had a chance to even start to begin to heal from his surgery. We took him off life support on Monday as all of his organs were failing and his lungs where full. There was no hope of recovery so he dies feom Covid. I still can't wrap my head around what is happening. Certainly not what any of us expected. As we're making plans for the funeral and the services, I can't get over the anger. I have so many questions. Nobody seems to have any answers and nobody really seems to care. He was my last remaining parent. So I guess now I live in a new world I'm just trying to adjust. But the anger is really got me.. and my only other sibling lives 1,100 miles away. I could never count on him and I still can't count on him. I'm angry at him too. My brother never got a covid shot so he said he could only do so much and stayed only a short time. He left the state before my dad passed. Thank goodness I do have my husband. He's a wonderful man and very grateful for him. I just hope he can help me get through this. How do you deal with the anger? And to make matters worse, I never really dealt with the death of my mom 8 years ago. I tried but its too painful to fully process.  

I lost my dad too during the peak of the Covid season due to medical negligence and uncaring staffs. When my father got the flu it was unfortunate that the government in my country(a 3rd world nation in Asia) hasn't begun mass vaccinating yet. My mom passed away 3 years ago due to diabetic complications. Now my life is a loner and during this pandemic I've no job with a shrinking savings for survival. I feel so lost and helpless. No siblings, no family members left. Heck I bought insurance and if I die there's no one to receive the compensations for my death payouts. I'm not sure if there's anyone who will organize a funeral wake for me.I thank my parents who brought me up in a struggling family which improved over time as I grew. They even saw me through my engineering degree which I graduated in the dean's list.My relatives have all started to avoid and talk to me. I have few friends but they are either occupied with their own families or their own lives than to be bothered to notice me.

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