Lost my mum to COVID

[L98]

I lost my mum on the 21st September 2021 to COVID.

I was there at the hospital holding her hand and hearing the nurse telling me she had gone made me crumble to the ground, I’m only 23 but that was the most horrid and heartbreaking experience in my life and always will be. I just can’t believe I lost my mum! But she wasn’t just my mum she was my mum, my father, my best friend, my absolute rock and a nanny to my little boy, he’s only 2 years old and it kills me he will never get that relationship growing up! He will never get to have that bond with his nanny, he loved his many so much and my mum loved my little boy more than anything.
My mum was meant to be giving me away at my wedding next year in April and she won’t ever get to see me get married she was so excited she had her outfit already and couldn’t wait to walk me down the aisle and she won’t ever get to do that now! I just need my mum I need my best friend, my little brother lost his mum too he’s a child with additional needs who relied on my mum she was his rock too, he’s come to live with me, my partner and son so that’s kept my mind a little busy for now but now it’s hitting me hard, I just can’t cope, packing her house up which was her pride and joy absolutely broke me even more, I just want her back I just want our silly phone calls where we would talk for hours a day, how can she be gone like seriously how. How am I meant to cope without my mum, I need her more than anything I loved her so much and I feel so guilt like I should of done more or something for her to be here still, I just want her back so bad 

[reader]

Dear L98,

I am so sorry for your devastating loss. The pain and sorrow and grief is unimaginable. Please know we are with you. 

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

[Orchid]

Dear L98,

I can understand your pain. It hurts, it hurts very much. I lost my mother to covid on May 21. Atleast you got to see your mom and hold her hand but I didnot have also that privilege. She died waiting see me but I was not allowed to go to the covid ward. I couldn't hold her hand when she passed away. I couldn't say anything to her for the last time. I couldn't even kiss her forehead for the last time. It hurts very much. I can't give you any way to deal with your pain because I haven't found one. But I hope you get the courage to endure this pain and devastating loss of your life.

[Ieskha]

Dear L98,

 

I am deeply sorry that you are going through this. It’s the worst.  

The way you are feeling is exactly what I’m feeling. We just lost my mom 3 weeks ago and I can’t, nor do I want to, imagine life without her. She was the greatest mom to us. Like the greatest. She has always been there for everything. Just like you, I’m heartbroken that my kids won’t get to grow up with her there anymore. She loved them so much and they loved her. It makes me sick to my stomach that they lost her. My little brother is having his first baby and I can’t believe she won’t be here to meet his baby and help him like she did all of us with our kids. I can’t believe she actually gone. My brain just can’t register that. The pain is unbearable. We are also going to start emptying out her house and the mere thought makes me feel sick. I’m sorry you had to do that. 
 

If it brings any comfort at all, just know you’re not alone. What you shared helped me feel less alone, less crazy. So thank you!
 

Praying for you.