My dog was like my child

[Andrea_Beau]

I took my dog Beau for a morning walk and he saw a deer in the woods. He loved to chase anything that ran, we were only a little ways from the house, and I didn't know he had gone after a deer, just thought he was in the trees. When he didn't come back to the house we went looking for him. The neighbor was the one that spoke to the Ministry workers who had found him. He chased the deer right to the highway and my baby boy was hit by a car.

I miss him so much, and my partner and family all keep telling me it's not my fault, that he would have after that deer no matter who was there. But now I just feel like I don't know how to cope, or how to be normal. All I want to do is stay in bed and give in to my sadness. But I also feel like I need to keep moving and go to work and be a happy, positive teacher for my students (I'm a substitute teacher currently). I just constantly feel like I don't know what to do.

[AJWCat]

I am so sorry for your loss. Tragic! Someone else in this forum just posted losing their puppy the same way. Poor dogs, they have no idea how dangerous the road is.

Allow yourself to grieve in private; cry, come here and write, get it out. I posted in here a ton. Do whatever you can do to cope. That's what I had to do after losing my cat to a violent, sudden illness. I thought I would go crazy with grief and sadness. 

Hang in there. And yes, of course it's not your fault.  

 

[KayC]

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.@Andrea_Beau  This did not show up until today for me, I don't know why but that sometimes happens with websites, I check every day, so I apologize this response is so late, you must have felt uncared about by us!

I am so sorry about your baby, it's the hardest thing in the world losing them.  I lost mine to cancer two years ago and 4 1/2 months later lost my 25 year old cat.  We learn to live with the changes it means for our lives but never ever stop loving or missing them.  I view it like a tribute to them, that they were so special and irreplaceable.  My son brought me a puppy and I totally love him, but one doesn't replace another, ever, instead they create their own place in your heart.
 

http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

It helped me to write about their lives, in a way, immortalizing them.