Two weeks

[Malisacher]

I just laid my husband to rest last week just now getting death certificates and I’m still really sick because we all had Covid my head is in a fog and it’s hard for me to do anything I try to pack a few boxes I try to make decisions and my brain just doesn’t let me do it my stomach is upset all the time and I have a special needs son who needs to be take care of thank God for my mom being here The paperwork seems never ending for widow benefits from his job and and social security won’t talk to me till the end of the month don’t know how me and my son are going to survive also my son is going to need care his whole life I got to figure out how to get him on Social Security for that if I have to I can go live with my parents at the farm I really don’t wanna do that with three cats and a special needs son I never had to worry about money because husband made good money and now I have no idea where me and my son will get any money so we can live missing my husband so much I just can’t function i’m sorry this post is a mess and it’s full ramblings and im Just scared

[KayC]

I'm so sorry, this is a very trying time at best, you have the Covid added to it, and trying to tend to someone else and all of these details at once just when you least feel up to it!  I felt overwhelmed when my husband died...income cut in half, $72,000 worth of bills pouring in, then lost my job, and I didn't even have Covid or a dependent at that time!  Try to hang in there, tend to what you need to today, try not to take on the rest of your life as today is more than enough.  Applying for disability for your son and survivor's benefits for yourself seems priority, I hope it doesn't take the bureaucracy undue time!  I hope you can get a doctor on your side that will help on your behalf!

Meanwhile, come here, post, vent, we may not be able to change your circumstances but we care and we're listening!

[tnd]

I am very sorry for your loss, Malisacher. And I am sorry you are overwhelmed with filing paperwork and having to take care of so much, including your son. It is very very difficult to do. Since I am under 60 (I'm 57) I don't qualify for Survivors Benefits so had to file for Widows Benefits too. That was in early June (3 mos ago) and I call SSA every day and my application is still being processed. So it does take a while. If you have family that can help you then plant that in your head for now and keep them in-mind. That will help with the feeling of despair. I have no income either and am now living with a very kind and generous family who hardly knows me. I have one surviving brother and a sister in-law but they turned their backs on me. I no longer consider them "family". But I do have this new family, so that helps with my own feeling of despair. At least for now. I hope to get my own cheap apartment if my Widows Benefits are approved. Meantime, I come on here to talk things out and let my thoughts out of my head, no matter how sad or dark they are. People on here are not just "people" to me. We have all lost our beloveds and are grieving. We understand one another's pain. We share our grief and we share what helps or what doesn't. They may be "online" but to me, they've become my most special of friends. Actually, my only friends right now. But they help me in so many ways that now I want to come on here just to be with them and to talk about my day. Good or bad. Right now, you and I are in the very early part of our grief. Take it slow. It's not going anywhere (the grief) so take it slow and just ride the waves with the rest of us. We're here for you. We want to help. Take care and go easy on yourself.     

[Sparky1]

Malisacher, my condolences on the loss of your husband. Losing our partner is a dramatic and life changing experience. Like Kay and tnd said, we can offer emotional support as we know how tough life is without our partner. I lost my wife almost 11 months ago and I still can't figure out how I made it this far. Every day for me is very tough. Tough getting out of bed,  going to work, coming home to an empty house, going to bed in an empty bed.

I hope that you can get some help so you can take care of your son and yourself. Like a lot of us do, take things slow and one day at a time. Grieve as much as you want because its normal and we are hear to listen to you.