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Lots Of Stress And Grief While Starting New Life


tnd

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1 minute ago, John9 said:

It rarely ends well for both parties and the longer it goes on the worse it is for everyone (the kids). I am just speaking in general terms from my own experiences.

John9:  My own parents marriage was at it's worst after us kids were grown but we could see it coming. My brother has a 20 yr old autistic son living at home and a 17 yr old son who is a senior in high school. I don't know if my SIL could take custody of them in a divorce at their ages but I wouldn't doubt she'd want the house and vehicles. And being an admitted hoarder, I'm sure she has run up quite a debt. She's always been wicked when no one is around to witness it and I haven't been her only victim. I don't know why she is like that but at least I'm not the only one who has been verbally attacked by her. Never met someone like her before. I think she has a bonafide problem. 

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tnd,

Sadly the comments about SIL show that some people will be "punished" in this life and will continue to pose problems for others forever. They will never see it is a problem because to them it isn't one.

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1 minute ago, John9 said:

They will never see it is a problem because to them it isn't one.

John9:  I think you are right about that. I shouldn't even be giving this another thought. Much like it was when my husband died....here one minute, gone the next. And now my brother...was my brother one minute, a mean stranger the next. Crap. I feel so damaged. Well, if I ever do emerge from this hole I sure hope that at my age I will still have a little time left for some enjoyment. Although I have no idea what that would look like. Getting to sleep again in my own bed would be a joy. But I hope that's not all I have to look forward to.  

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tnd,

3 minutes ago, tnd said:

Well, if I ever do emerge from this hole I sure hope that at my age I will still have a little time left for some enjoyment. Although I have no idea what that would look like. Getting to sleep again in my own bed would be a joy. But I hope that's not all I have to look forward to.  

I would expect that any enjoyment you "receive" would be a little at a time. I know I am not expecting much and so far I am not disappointed. I have no expectations so I don't know if anything will ever bring me any kind of joy or happiness, I would never expect any level that "we" had but other than that I don't know what is to come for me except more pain.

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12 minutes ago, John9 said:

I have no expectations so I don't know if anything will ever bring me any kind of joy or happiness, I would never expect any level that "we" had but other than that I don't know what is to come for me except more pain.

John9:  I fear the same thing -more pain. And I can't take any more. At least the house is quiet today. Everyone is gone. I did a couple chores and now wish I could reward myself for it. But there's no treats or ice cream. I've Poptarts tho. That's better than nothing. And bean/cheese burritos for the microwave. ugh..still, better than nothing.  

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22 hours ago, tnd said:

Wonder what makes a person turn like that and be somebody so different from who they were. 

I've seen this to some extent with my son/DIL.  I have not heard from my son since Monday and it was his dog that bit me, you'd think he could at least update me on whether the other people TOOK the dog or not.  You'd think he'd text me back about my update on my hand, nope, nothing.  Not from my daughter either, but esp. him since it was him that put me in that impossible situation.

21 hours ago, tnd said:

Never met someone like her before.

Hmm...I have a DIL...

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8 minutes ago, KayC said:

You'd think he'd text me back about my update on my hand, nope, nothing.  Not from my daughter either, but esp. him

KayC:  That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. My brother and I grew up with the same parents and in the same house but he acts like he was raised by a different family. I know people change with age and with circumstances, I know people will side with their spouses but my brother still ignored and abandoned me even after I apologized several times to the both of them. I did not think I needed to apologize but to show that I could take the high road, that's what I did. And he still slammed the proverbial door in my face. That's cold. And it was mean. My SIL has always been rude and mean so I can only assume that she's influenced my brother. And now he's mean too. 

I'm sorry your son hasn't called to see how your hand is doing. He should have. If it were me, I'd probably ignore him next time he needs someone to talk to and then say something like "OH! Are YOU talking to ME??" But being your son, I doubt you'd want to do something like that. I'm just saying....  Yes, obviously, your DIL has influenced him. What a shame. 

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KayC,

I don't begin to try to figure anyone out anymore, Maybe your son is embarrassed by the fact the dog bit you and doesn't know how to handle that.:unsure: I don't understand why he wouldn't make sure you are recovering though. I am no longer surprised with anyone and the lack of compassion or empathy. It is "funny" though that if any of these situations were reversed they would be screaming how nobody cares or understands what is happening to them. I know from my loving wife that no matter how upset she was with our son she ALWAYS loved him and was ALWAYS going to because she IS his Mother. Parents love their kids but there is nothing like a Mothers love. I know this but never experienced it myself.:(

 

 

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John, I'm sorry you haven't experienced it.  I didn't either.  That's why it's hard for me to understand, maybe I should be glad my kids are independent, we raise them to be ultimately, but I'll be 70 next year and won't be here forever, I was a great mom, the best, and don't deserve to be ostracized, he was always the one I thought would always be there for me.  He has been up until the last couple of years, I know we've had Covid, he has a wife, kids, moved, works long hours, she makes him put in hours at home all the time, but still, how long does a phone call or text take?  Esp. when you're responsible for this!  I only hope when I die he doesn't have regrets because that would be hard to live with.  Yes we care about our kids, always, no matter what, at least most of us moms do.  

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KayC,

I know that we did all we could do to raise our son to be able to be an independent person and sometimes that was hard for my loving wife to understand why he didn't answer her texts or messages. I had tried to make both of them understand the other, I told him to send a quick text that he was ok and received the one from his Mother BUT he really never understood it UNTIL she died. I say I never had a Mother's love because my Mother died when I was 2 and I don't remember her at all, and no step-mothers ever cared about "us" because we weren't theirs. I can't say how true the "saying" about sons and daughters and mothers is but from reading comments I would say it isn't far off.

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3 hours ago, KayC said:

but still, how long does a phone call or text take? 

KayC:  At the risk of sounding ignorant AND nosey, have you told your son you'd like a call or text once in awhile? Maybe he could manage that once a week. Let him know that you understand his plate is full so just once a week would be good for you. Make it sound like it can be on his terms rather than "mom" telling him. I don't know, I could be way off base here but just an idea. 

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I once asked my son to check FB every night and make sure I've posted something on it so he knows I'm still alive but I know he isn't doing it.Once a week?  I'm asking I hear from him once a MONTH!  I'm not hearing from my kids.  He doesn't resent my saying something, he's just super busy, his wife puts a ton of demands on him and he already works 80 hour/week!

Yesterday tried to get back to my doctor and he's not in all week, seeing the PA was a disappointment they made me remove my bandaging, didn't even have a pair of pointed scissors to let me use!  I had to dig in my purse for my micra.  They didn't give me the non-stick pads my Dr promised, nor did they put in stitches like he said he would, nor did they renew the antibiotic like he'd said.  It was a wasted trip.  They didn't even rebandage it for me, I had to come home and do that for myself.  And forget getting a referral to an allergy specialist, it'll have to wait until I'm established somewhere else, I've had enormous pain from my throat/tongue for nine months, guess what's a few more.  I'm dreading this.

John I'm sorry your mother died when you were but a baby, that's very hard.  My own mom was never normal/motherly, so I don't know what that's like, she was mentally ill and extremely abusive, kind of like Mommy Dearest (Betty Davis).

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KayC,

I can't understand anything anymore, Why does it seem like NOBODY wants to do their job. I can understand that the Doctor wasn't there but that is what a chart is for. What would happen if the Doctor was to die or become incapacitated and unable to see patients, Do all of them have to start over. That is and has been an issue when trying to follow up with the various Doctors I have dealt with for MIL and friend and how things never were done for my loving wife. It is a real pain and again nobody sees it as a problem because it isn't "them".

Thank you for the comment about my Mother and I am sorry that your Mother was "evil". I saw many people who had a loving "family" but overall in my life I didn't and sometimes it wasn't that "they" didn't try it was that the ones who were involved just had no experience and the alcohol made for bad choices on their part. I am who I am because of them and I tried to be a better person for it but it is so hard right now.

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13 minutes ago, John9 said:

the ones who were involved just had no experience and the alcohol made for bad choices on their part.

That's how I see it too.  I don't see my mom as evil so much as very flawed, a prisoner within herself.  I remember telling my sister once, "If you think it sucks to be around her, think how much it must suck to BE her!  She can't get away from herself!"  Of course, it's another matter when you're a child and living at their mercy.  The system did nothing to protect us then, it wasn''t for my lack of trying.

I, too, tried to do the opposite of my parents and learn from their mistakes.  About all we can do sometimes.

I'm sorry your wife and my husband...the medical system failed them.  It seems nothing has changed.

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32 minutes ago, KayC said:

I'm sorry your wife and my husband...the medical system failed them.  It seems nothing has changed.

KayC,

Sadly I think that the system is getting worse because of ALL of the other issues going on right now (Covid and such). The Medical people are running into more problems that compound the problems we are having and it is a catch-22 and a vicious cycle. This is kind of the "craziness" that tnd is dealing with in regards to Social Security and how they don't understand or care because it isn't them. I know the world is not what it was before but it seems like everything is failing at once. I know it isn't all bad but the good isn't being talked about only the bad.

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tnd,

I hope you have a better day too.

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Whose kids are you watching?  I hope all went well.  Someone should leave you a cellphone just in case!  I hope you let them know you don't have a phone, sometimes people "forget" things like that!

I've decided to go to my doctor 10/22 and see if I can get an allergy specialist referral from him as I'm afraid I couldn't from someone else, if I mention my throat to anyone they won't see me, just send me for a Covid test!  It's insane.  I feel stuck with no medical care for this very painful condition.  I have no more time for elimination diet, it's gone on for over nine months now and extremely painful to live with!  I don't want an ear/nose/throat specialist as my friend whose had this for over two years has been to a passel of them with NO HELP from any of them!  I have read that allergies can mimic thrush, so can inhalers, but I've been off my inhaler for seven months now, time enough to know that alone wasn't it.  After getting diagnosed properly THEN I will switch to my old clinic but possibly a different doctor there.

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5 hours ago, KayC said:

I've decided to go to my doctor 10/22 and see if I can get an allergy specialist referral from him as I'm afraid I couldn't from someone else, if I mention my throat to anyone they won't see me, just send me for a Covid test!  It's insane.

KayC:  An allergy specialist may be able to pinpoint a specific allergy and if not an allergy, then maybe they will have experience in recognizing other problems. I was going to recommend an ENT doctor but like you said, your friend has seen several and they didn't help. For my asthma, I use the steroid inhaler Breo once a day and Montelukast (generic Singulair). And since I've been taking Prednisone for the Sarcoidosis, I have rarely needed my "rescue inhaler" anymore. But I still take a weak antihistamine about twice a day if I have a little coughing or wheezing. The Pulmonologist wants me to on a regular basis at least once a day. It helps with the wheezing and also helps get rid of hives I get from the Sarcoidosis. 

I really hope you get some relief soon. Feeling miserable every day is no way to have to live. Please don't give up on the idea of seeing an ENT doctor. 

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5 hours ago, KayC said:

Whose kids are you watching?  I hope all went well.  Someone should leave you a cellphone just in case!  I hope you let them know you don't have a phone, sometimes people "forget" things like that!

KayC:  I have been babysitting Francis's grandchildren (2 of them). Her daughter usually would bring them over after Francis got home from work or have her adult son watch them when he's not at work. He's 30 and lives here too. But since my arrival, they come earlier and are left with me. I can't do it. I can't keep up with them, especially if they run off from me. And I am not use to having to pay so close attention to 2 little ones that get into everything and have more energy than they know what to do with. Or diapers. And I'm not joking about that. It was actually physically hard for me to change the little ones diapers. And then there's the issue of having no phone....made me very nervous. 

I spoke up and told Francis that I can't babysit anymore. I just can't. And I've mentioned the phone several times but to no avail. Anyways, she wasn't happy but said she will tell her daughter not to bring the kids over anymore for me to babysit. I felt bad about it because she said she will have her daughter drop the kids off at her (Francis) office and Francis will bring them home with her when she gets off work at the dentist. So now I feel guilty but I am glad I defended myself and spoke up. I cannot be responsible for children these days being tethered to an oxygen machine and no strength or energy. Or phone. 

 

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tnd,

I am sorry that you are "feeling" bad about not being able to babysit, as well as just plain feeling bad physically. I have said that all I can do is what I can do, and I believe that is the same for you as well. Francis may not FULLY understand the position she put you in, but I am glad that you told her and maybe explain that it isn't you don't WANT to you physically can't do it. I don't know anything about anything anymore but I do know lack of communication will cause a lot of issues and nobody wants that. As we know too well our "friend" stress will cause us all kinds of physical and mental and emotional issues.

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27 minutes ago, John9 said:

As we know too well our "friend" stress will cause us all kinds of physical and mental and emotional issues.

John9:  Stress can also cause us to be looked at as being looney tunes or ungrateful. I have to hold it all in now if I want to survive and live long enough to get my own place. 

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KayC,

Happy Birthday to Kodie (and you too). Animals do have a way of not taking life too serious don't they.

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3 hours ago, KayC said:

People have no idea until they've walked a mile in our shoes, in this case, your disability prevents your taking care of wee ones,

KayC:  People seem to think more activity like exercise and walking will make me stronger and...more normal. They obviously don't listen to me or care to read up on Sarcoidosis. While walking and exercise (if you can do it) may help, the physical pain and limitations I have is caused by the disease and the treatment for it basically eating me. There is no cure, no magic bullet. People who have had cancer and survived only to get Sarcoidosis say Sarcoidosis is worse than cancer. I have scarred lungs (fibrosis). The scarring is permanent and prevents my lungs from fully expanding. No amount of exercise can help that. But when I tell someone this, they look at me like I'm a two-headed snake or exaggerating. Or else they think I'm making it all up. Some of the most basic and simple tasks are a challenge for me now. But if I do anything for myself, I look at that as a plus. Something positive. And yet, I am being told that I am negative. Okay. So I wonder how are people suppose to feel when their spouse has died and they've lost everything and living with severe illness? Guess they think that money grows on trees, nobody ever gets too sick to do things and never cries or grieves. 

I honestly cannot wait to get my own place. I want to rebuild my life but do it my way without being battered down by other people's unrealistic ideas and criticism.   

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3 hours ago, KayC said:

Today I sang Happy Birthday to Kodie...he doesn't look too fazed... :D

KayC:  What a precious baby you have! Kodie is so cute! He is definitely good "hug material"!  Happy Birthday, Kodie! You made me smile and it feels wonderful to know you have such a good momma that loves you. Way to be, Kodie! 

Happy Birthday to you too KayC!  Kodie would be better than cake! 

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foreverhis
3 hours ago, KayC said:

I wanted to share this with you guys, hopefully to bring you a smile...when I lost my Arlie, God was preparing a little fellow for me and he was born on my birthday!  That was two years ago.  Today I sang Happy Birthday to Kodie...he doesn't look too fazed... :D

God certainly knew what you needed and to “seal the deal” decided he should be born on your birthday to give you a clear sign that this furry soul is just for you.

I look at Kodie’s picture and want to reach through the screen to (as I always imagine them thinking when they flop back like that) “rub the belly, rub the belly.”:biggrin2:

I wish both of you the best birthday possible and know in my heart that it will be better because you have each other.:wub:

 

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21 hours ago, tnd said:

But when I tell someone this, they look at me like I'm a two-headed snake or exaggerating. Or else they think I'm making it all up.

I am so sorry people don't bother to read up on it, let alone take it seriously, it's the first thing I did when you told us about it because I didn't know anything about it.  Even so, READING about it and EXPERIENCING it firsthand are quite two different things!  There is nothing like going through something ones self to KNOW it and of what you speak!  Yet knowing what you go through I bet you wouldn't wish it on anyone!  :(

21 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I look at Kodie’s picture and want to reach through the screen to (as I always imagine them thinking when they flop back like that) “rub the belly, rub the belly.”:biggrin2:

I think that's what he was secretly hoping for!  :D  He loves his bellyrubs!  When a dog lays exposed like that, being so vulnerable, it shows complete trust and to me I feel honored to have that, Jazzy is like that with me too (Kodie's BFF)!

And I made a Keto Mug cake, put some SF choc. syrup on it and whipped cream and enjoyed it for my bdy!  I love those single serving desserts, it only takes 90 seconds in the microwave!  I love things that are quick and easy...plus delicious and healthy!

Kodie and I enjoyed going to Iris & Jazzy's last night, them for a second playdate, us for a movie!

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9 hours ago, KayC said:

And I made a Keto Mug cake, put some SF choc. syrup on it and whipped cream and enjoyed it for my bdy!  I love those single serving desserts,

KayC:  I  hope you enjoyed it, you deserved a treat. What else are birthdays for? lol  Pamper yourself and eat treats! 

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tnd,

I completely understand this statement and your comments. Switch the words to my wife and I could have written this. My wife's cats come to me sometimes when I am talking/crying to her. They talk to me more than just about anyone else in my life right now. I so much feel for you because if you are feeling any of the pain and torture I am then it is almost unbearable and too much. I don't have the answer but I am trying to figure it out if it is possible to do so. Like I said before and others have also, I have to take it one moment at a time, one day at a time. That's the best we can do right now.

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I figure I will either die from a broken heart while sleeping, die from the Sarcoidosis and stop breathing or die from the stress I am going through. I keep trying to hang onto some hope and I keep trying to think positive but I keep getting shot down or else more stuff happens to set me back. Keep thinking there's a message in all this and maybe that message is to stay down and not get back up. Or at least that is what I think the message is. Things are just so darn crazy around here. 

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12 hours ago, tnd said:

Keep thinking there's a message in all this and maybe that message is to stay down and not get back up. Or at least that is what I think the message is.

tnd,

I DON'T think that is the message at all, but I do understand how you can feel that way. I am extremely disappointed when I wake up "alive" because I realize I obviously have not fulfilled God's plan for me and I just keep going once again to try to figure out what it is. I can't begin to understand any of what you are going through because I have medical issues but nothing like you and with all else you are dealing with it can seem very overwhelming and without people understanding that it can "hurt" more.

foreverhis,

10 hours ago, foreverhis said:

My doggie friend who comes to visit me through the week is like that. 

This is only one small part of my complicated compounded grieving, in the sense that I lost all of "our" canine cuddlers who were always there for us and sat and slept with us and not only did I lose my loving wife and MIL but I lost them too and I am just so ALONE. I do "receive" very little sympathy or comfort from My loving wife's cats because they are too young and too independent and sleep too much. I don't know how I can keep this up for much longer as much as I try it is so hard.

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13 hours ago, tnd said:

Imagine that, a cat seemingly understanding me better than humans do.

They do.  What I went through recently with the dog bite...my son feels like he's gaslighting me and invalidated what I know to be my experience, but not Kodie, Kodie knew from the beginning that dog was a threat and he was very affected by what the dog put us through...our dogs/cats DO have strong intuition towards us and "get us" when no one else seems to!  I'm so glad you have your cat with you.

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10 hours ago, foreverhis said:

She looked at me, then came over and nudged the book away so she could get to me.  She climbed onto my lap, all 12 lb of her, stretched her neck and looked up at me with sweet eyes.  Then she leaned hard into my chest and stomach, getting as close and possible.  Finally, she looked up again, sighed, and oozed down to coil into a ball on my lap, holding my thigh tight with her paws, and went back to sleep.  She would not budge from that position and when I tried to move her, she just grabbed on tighter.  There have been any number of times since then that her little sensitive self has figured out that I'm having a hard time.  She'll either snuggle as closely as possible, even shoving her front legs up my shorts if it's a warm day or she'll jump down and ask to play, as if saying, "I know you'll feel better if we play with my toys."  I positively adore that little darling.

This is so sweet!  And why I love dogs/cats so much!  

16 minutes ago, John9 said:

This is only one small part of my complicated compounded grieving, in the sense that I lost all of "our" canine cuddlers who were always there for us and sat and slept with us and not only did I lose my loving wife and MIL but I lost them too and I am just so ALONE.

I felt that too before I got Kodie.  VERY hard.

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tnd,

 I am sorry you are having to deal with another issue and being afraid to "communicate" with the other people in the house. I am not sure what else you can do at the moment because I understand your concern about having nowhere to go. You definitely don't want to have to deal with that right now. Hopefully the Social Security Office will process the papers quickly when they receive them. I know I have said it before but I don't understand why this happens, other people have to be in similar situations and it should be a faster process. Death benefits should receive a different priority than "standard" benefits. I know this is just me venting about something I see that they don't fully understand no matter how they might say they do. I "understand" procedure I don't understand the reasoning behind delays.

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tnd, I agree it's important to express yourself and feel heard, but when you can't with the person, please come here and vent, we're here, we're listening.  I felt that way with my son after the dog bite incident, I felt devalued, and discounted, minimized, it made me want away...it's the first time I've felt that way with him to this degree.  He's changed, his wife's influence is not for the good.  This is not my son I raised and knew, sadly.  It upset me so badly I only slept two hours that night, and of course, it ruined my birthday.  

I agree with John, they need to speed up the process, they seem to not realize or care that they are messing with someone's LIFE!   I'm sick of our government's lack of caring.  Mitch O'Connell is saying they will NOT raise the limit come Dec. and they will not fund soc. sec. and Medicare...Merry Christmas.  It seems wrong that politics can play into people's LIVES!  It's as if they're using the most helpless among us, the old and feeble, to hold hostage so they get what they want.  It's a broken link in our system, what America is doing to "run their country" isn't working well.  No one should feel at their government's mercy.  We're supposed to be the land of the free!  My first mistake was in believing that all these years.  Now I see another side that isn't pretty.  Sorry to bring you down, just feeling it...

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24 minutes ago, KayC said:

Sorry to bring you down, just feeling it...

KayC,

You are doing what "we" do, we vent about what bothers us in my opinion about what we can't fix. I had always "argued" with my friend who died, when he would say the system is broken and it can't be fixed. I said it can be fixed but it won't be fixed until the people in "charge" understand how it affects "us" and THEY are too far removed from it. All they care about in their own party issues and as long as it isn't their problem "who cares".

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4 hours ago, KayC said:

He's changed, his wife's influence is not for the good.  This is not my son I raised and knew, sadly. 

KayC:  My mother had said the same thing about my brother years ago. And he's gotten much much worse. He's become as blatantly rude as his wife. I'm afraid his sons suffer for their parents behavior. 

 

5 hours ago, KayC said:

what America is doing to "run their country" isn't working well.  No one should feel at their government's mercy. 

KayC:  I agree. My stomach turns when it comes to politics and what the govt does and does NOT do. But we are still living in the greatest country on earth, just that it is getting stinky. 

4 hours ago, John9 said:

when he would say the system is broken and it can't be fixed. I said it can be fixed but it won't be fixed until the people in "charge" understand how it affects "us" and THEY are too far removed from it. All they care about in their own party issues and as long as it isn't their problem "who cares".

John9:  I completely agree with this. 

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17 hours ago, tnd said:

But we are still living in the greatest country on earth, just that it is getting stinky.

"Greatest County" doesn't say much anymore.  Just because there are others worse doesn't help us trying to live through this one.  What do the elderly do when they have no income or health coverage?  My friend needs cancer treatments and her husband just learned his 2nd cornea transplant did not take and he needs ANOTHER one!  Each comes at $1,800 copay.  Lord knows what the cancer surgery & chemo will cost...oh but surprise, "we'll not fund Medicare or social security!"

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LMR, I am going through this with one of my close friends, Kodie has a playdate with her dog Jazzy everyday  Iris is beginning chemo treatments in less than two weeks and may well have surgery when she is done.  I want to be there for her in any way I can.  So hard!  Life is hard.  I'm so sorry your sister is going through this.  Just praying she makes it through the "treatments" and it does it's job.

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11 hours ago, LMR said:

I realised that I am needed here so I will try to stop feeling sorry for myself.

LMR:  I am sorry that your sister has cancer. She probably is very thankful for you being with her. Perhaps the love you share as sisters will help both of you...I wouldn't put your grief on the backburner but rather, maybe caring for someone while they go through their own fight will help release some emotions that both of you have inside. It won't just be about one person but the both of you needing each other's love and to be there for each other right now. 

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I feel like I'm living in loony land. I know that I'm not necessarily thinking clearly these days but seems others around me aren't either. Lots  of yelling, arguing (not at me). But I do often feel ignored. I almost feel like I am not wanted. Maybe I'm not. This is by far the worst time of my life, grieving, being homeless and constantly stressed out and under pressure. Constantly. And I don't even have the ways and means to do leave or do anything about it. Except to hold it all in until I can retreat to my room. It's become routine for me now. 

On the plus side, I spoke to one of my doctors today via a Tele-med appointment. He will be on the look out for my benefit forms and fill them out. I knew he would. He's been my primary for 30 years now, he's knows practically every thing that has ever happened to me, good and bad. And my current situation is no exception. Nice knowing he's on my side.  

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LMR,

I understand the statement about trying to not feel sorry for yourself because you are needed, The "good" sister is dealing with the death of her Daughter and I am trying to be there for her and she is still trying to be there for me because she also lost her niece (my wife) and her sister and we are both trying to figure what we are doing and what we are going to do because in our case it seems like when maybe you start to catch your breath and can actually think. Another death or crisis comes along and restarts the whole grieving process over again. We were talking about how "my" year for my friend is closer (January) and then my loving wife (March) and then MIL (August) and now her Daughter (October) and as I posted on other forum My Mother 60 years ago (November) and if I look back at my animal friends the grief is just endless. I hope that your sister responds to the treatment and I am as glad for you to be there for her as I can be under the circumstances.

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7 minutes ago, tnd said:

On the plus side, I spoke to one of my doctors today via a Tele-med appointment. He will be on the look out for my benefit forms and fill them out. I knew he would. He's been my primary for 30 years now, he's knows practically every thing that has ever happened to me, good and bad. And my current situation is no exception. Nice knowing he's on my side.  

tnd,

I hope that all works out but I am wondering, this doesn't mean that nothing has been done does it. I know that the stress of events isn't helping you but try to hold on. I know it probably sounds "funny" me telling you to hold on when I am just barely hanging on myself and really don't want to. But we can only do what we can, right.

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