Moderators Popular Post widower2 Posted September 15, 2021 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 Wondering if anyone else has struggled with this. It's been like a wound in my side that someone keeps jabbing with a stick...like most things in grief not as bad as it was initially, but still incredibly resilient. 5 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Maria_PI Posted September 15, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 Yes, guilt! Not as gut-wrenching as before while the pain and suffering and running out of time in front of my eyes was still fresh, but still prevailing even over the loving memories. Now guilt that I am left here on this Earth to enjoy a good pain free life that I can’t share with the one person who made sure I could have that with every move he made. Why is it that we really appreciate someone more after they are gone? All the things we should have and could have said and done but for some reason didn’t. So very personal and so very universal! 6 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post LMR Posted September 15, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 3 hours ago, Maria_PI said: Why is it that we really appreciate someone more after they are gone? All the things we should have and could have said and done but for some reason didn’t. That isn't always the case and certainly not with me. I was very aware of how much we meant to each other. We would say "I love you" or similar several times a day. We held hands or hugged all the time. The loss of his touch is one of the hardest things to bear. I just want to put my hand on his cheek! @widower2Guilt is something I think we all feel. We wonder if we could have altered the outcome. I was kept from his side because of covid and it eats me up that I wasn't there. I think I should have camped outside the window all day every day. I truly wish I had. 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 15, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 You may have already seen these, but if not... I do hope these articles will aid you in getting through your guilt feelings... Guilt and Regret in Grief Grief and the Burden of Guilt Guilt In the Wake of a Parent's Death Address Guilt When Grieving and this video is helpful as well: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Roxeanne Posted September 15, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 11 hours ago, widower2 said: like most things in grief not as bad as it was initially, but still incredibly resilient. Yes ...very resilient! I think it's tied to the fact we are all convinced within ourselves that we could change the things....despite reality! And another thing for me very resilient is that i still find his death incredible....yes i know that death happen to everyone who are alive, i know is our fate but his death is still surreal for me...a bad dream from which i can't wake up... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post LMR Posted September 15, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 @Roxeanne That is how I feel. It is over a year but it still feels surreal and impossible. I really can't understand it. It's as if I had never heard of death before this and nobody can explain what it means. I feel like I am still in shock. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 15, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 6 hours ago, Roxeanne said: a bad dream from which i can't wake up That is how I felt for the longest time, it's just so hard to wrap your head around! After 16 years I no longer expect him to walk through the door or call, but I don't remember how long it took to arrive there. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted September 15, 2021 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2021 20 hours ago, widower2 said: Wondering if anyone else has struggled with this. It's been like a wound in my side that someone keeps jabbing with a stick. widower2: I'm living with guilt, too. Sometimes I wonder if I had never been sick if my husband would have been stronger. I wonder if he gave up because I was getting worse. He had seen his first wife die from brain cancer. I am sure it scared him when I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis and placed on supplemental oxygen. And in the end, he suffered immense pain and there was nothing I could do to help him. That will burn in my mind forever. His pain is sadder than mine. And I know it will stay with me, only lessening through time but will forever be there. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted September 16, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 16, 2021 tnd I'm so sorry. But you getting sick wasn't your fault! I think you're being quite unfair to yourself in in feeling guilty about it. You were/are both victims. I don't know either of you really and I can't say for sure of course, but I seriously doubt he gave up because of your illness...I would think if anything it would strengthen his resolve to improve...but as you know, no matter what our resolve is, it isn't in itself always enough. Sometimes whatever it is someone is battling is too much. We're only human, as they say. 23 hours ago, Maria_PI said: Why is it that we really appreciate someone more after they are gone? Human nature. We are one seriously screwed up species! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 16, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted September 16, 2021 widower, I couldn't agree with you more in your response to tnd. And even your last sentence. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted September 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2021 I feel like I could have given my husband more hope when he was in the hospital. I couldn't get to him but should have found a way. I thought and thought about it and couldn't see any way for me to be there. No car, no money, not even my debit card at the time. Nothing. And I'm sick. I knew I wouldn't make it out the door. So I was glued to the phone every day. His sister called and left me a long foul-mouthed voice mail saying that my husband was in the hospital because I hadn't taken proper care of him and that if he died, she would blame me. But she knew I was sick...so I don't see how it was up to me to take care of him. He was taking care of himself. He had been so good about doing what he should do living with Diabetes but for whatever reason, things took a turn. And it was after I became ill. But his sister blames me. Now I do think that I should have found some way to offer him more hope to get well and come back home only I honestly don't know what else could have been done for him. I've just wondered if he started giving up. He didn't deserve all that pain or to be in a hospital for all those months. I'm not saying he gave up on me but rather, himself. And maybe I could have somehow rallied him to stay strong. I don't know and never will. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoli Posted September 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2021 Guilt, yes every day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LMR Posted September 17, 2021 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2021 @tnd It was the same for me. They wouldn't let me in to see him so I had to make do with waving through the window. It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for me so how could it possibly be enough for him. I don't drive and at the time I was scared to get on the bus but I should have found a way to be there every single day. I used to sit by the phone waiting all day but I worry that he thought I was doing ok without him. I wasn't then and I'm not now and I never will be. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Sparky1 Posted September 17, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 17, 2021 I also have lots of guilt. Maybe I should have pleaded with the doctors to try harder. Not being able to go every day because of restrictions. Not pushing her to get checked out earlier. Not doing enough things together, travelling, etc. I didn't expect her to pass away at her age, and neither did she. 3 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 17, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted September 17, 2021 @tnd Please hear me, you are NOT responsible for his death!! Him and my George were both grown men and made choices that helped or hurt with their diabetes, trust me when I say there is only so much you CAN do for them! I help with two diabetic groups daily and have fully immersed myself in it, I've learned a lot but at the time we followed what the doctors and diabetic classes said and the medical community and diabetic association are so far off in their guidelines, but it's the fault of our system not us, seriously! There is only so much you could do and you loved him with all your heart, you did what you could and what you knew. As for his sister, put up the hand to her words, do NOT let them echo in your brain, the witch could have come and taken care of him herself if she thought something else could be done and she did not. She has to blame YOU rather than looking at herself! How noble of her! Don't even let me get started on her!! The same goes for the rest of you. None of us were responsible for their deaths although we all search within afterwards. Hindsight is always easier as we have the facts then, but we enter this as it is doled out to us, and do not have complete picture ahead of time. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post mfreedmn97 Posted September 18, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 I too feel this. It’s exhausting and terrifying and painful all at once. I don’t know what else to say. I just don’t. This gaping wound is taking me to a place of sorrow and loss that I didn’t know was possible. 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted September 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 3 hours ago, mfreedmn97 said: This gaping wound is taking me to a place of sorrow and loss that I didn’t know was possible. mfreedmn97: It's very much like a dark cavernous hole. I feel so far down inside it that I look up and cannot see the sky or even light poking through. One moment I think I am okay, the next I am completely falling apart. Unfortunately, this feeling is not going away any time soon. So my next step is to figure out how to carry this feeling with me as I fight to go forward. And it is a battle. Hope you try too. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 18, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 11 hours ago, mfreedmn97 said: I too feel this. It’s exhausting and terrifying and painful all at once. I don’t know what else to say. I just don’t. This gaping wound is taking me to a place of sorrow and loss that I didn’t know was possible. It's very exhausting, I know of nothing worse than emotional trauma. It's something we can't wrap our heads around. 3 Reasons To Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions | Huffington Post A New Look at the 7 Emotional States of Loss | HuffPost Life Coping with Sorrow in Grief 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted October 30, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 On 9/18/2021 at 2:09 AM, tnd said: mfreedmn97: It's very much like a dark cavernous hole. That is about where I'm at lately. I am just so furious with myself for being so inadequate, so stupid. And please don't tell me I'm being too hard on myself because while I appreciate the intent, it's simply incorrect. Trust me if you knew the details you couldn't in all honesty disagree. 2 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mfreedmn97 Posted October 30, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 Each of our journeys is unique. We own them. No one else does. No one else could. Nonetheless, inadequate - t h a t I can’t abide. Nor stupid. You are not. Anything but. Period. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Darlene13 Posted October 30, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 I struggle with guilt too, more now that a year has gone by than I did at first, honestly. So many things...early symptoms the dr blew off so we did too until the cancer was more advanced, treatments I should've pushed harder for, time I spent taking care of things the last few weeks of his life that could've been put off if I had known his death was so close at hand. The list goes on and on. I think the key is that we know things now that we didn't then. 20/20 hindsight, but that doesn't really make it easier. 4 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Maria_PI Posted October 30, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 9 hours ago, Darlene13 said: I think the key is that we know things now that we didn't then. 20/20 hindsight, but that doesn't really make it easier. Yes, this is it! Sometimes when I go down the rabbit hole of guilt I try to remind myself of that but it takes a conscious effort. So many things I only learned when it was too late. Then why I didn't know them when that could have made a difference, or would it have? I would never know and there goes the rabbit hole again... At least I can say this here where people would understand and not judge me and I appreciate that! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted October 30, 2021 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 11 hours ago, widower2 said: Trust me if you knew the details you couldn't in all honesty disagree. Maybe, but what would she tell you if she could. It's still important to forgive ourselves. And hindsight is so easy to hammer ourselves with but none of us have it in foreknowledge. I could beat myself up over not knowing then what I know now about Diabetes...and the same when I lost my Arlie (dog) to cancer, I fed him a Colitis diet which had meat, multiple vegetables and brown rice...rice is a carb, even though brown is a complex one, nonetheless a carb, and guess what, it feeds cancer, that's what kills me, did I help kill my dog? My husband? I CANNOT beat myself up for what I did not know would happen! I always did what I thought was the best thing, what doctors/vets said! So by your thinking, I should berate myself? No. We take what we know now and more forward with it, guilt serves it's purpose by teaching us and once it's done that, all it does is hold us there, paralyze us, it serves no healthy purpose to hold in our lives! Let it go... Forgive yourself. We can be our own worst critics, our own worst enemy. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxeanne Posted October 30, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 1 hour ago, Maria_PI said: So many things I only learned when it was too late. Yes...but how we knew then ? And it would changed things ? Sometimes i feel guilt again...but it is a truly torture we experienced on ourselves... I don't want play this slaughter game anymore... we are powerless, we couldn't save them! I agree with Kay: 1 hour ago, KayC said: Let it go... Forgive yourself. We can be our own worst critics, our own worst enemy. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post ModKatB Posted October 30, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 Guilt is one of our worst enemies when we are grieving. It makes you second guess every move, every moment before you lost your spouse. Here is where it really gets hard though, accepting the fact that we could not have changed the outcome of what happened. If anyone else's spouse was like mine then you know you could not make them do anything they did not want to do. Grown ups that made choices of what THEY wanted to do. I know from personal experience it is hard to let go of guilt, but you can do it. I agree with KayC, you have to forgive yourself. We are not "all knowing" or "all seeing" beings, we are humans that do the best we can with what knowledge we do have. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mfreedmn97 Posted October 30, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 Great post. Thank you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post annie123 Posted October 30, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 I too struggle with guilt. My husband was sick for many years and I often felt overwhelmed. we were in the ER about every month with something... I was impatient sometimes. My husband would say, I feel so bad for you, dealing with it all, I would say, I feel so bad for you, you are the one suffering in pain . It breaks my heart remembering how he suffered..... 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post ScotJ65 Posted October 30, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 So many conflicting emotions and yes, guilt definitely one of them. I try and convince myself that I done the very best I could for my Lesleyanne when she became ill. Of course, in the end, my efforts were in vain as Huntingdon's still has no cure and it was just a matter of time. Another emotion I feel strongly is anger. Anger when I think about the absolute madness of pouring $£trillions into nuclear weapons when it could be used to fund research into finding cures for the diseases which claim so many lives prematurely. But, hey, I guess that's just the insanity, corruption and injustice of the sad world we live in. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post foreverhis Posted October 30, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 30, 2021 On 9/14/2021 at 6:16 PM, widower2 said: Wondering if anyone else has struggled with this. It's been like a wound in my side that someone keeps jabbing with a stick...like most things in grief not as bad as it was initially, but still incredibly resilient. Yes! You're right that it doesn't matter how much other people tell you that you did your best or that you're only human or anything else that's meant to comfort. I know the mistakes I made, the things I could/should have done better, and the ways I will always feel I let John down. Just today I was talking to him and going over my, "You weren't perfect either, you know!" because he was a wonderful, honest, caring, funny, super smart man, husband, father, brother, and friend--but he was far from perfect. I have a tendency I've been trying to minimize to put John on a pedestal as some sort of mythic model of perfection. That's dangerous, IMO, because it leads me to feel as if my faults and failings were that much worse. I have been working on accepting the things I could/should have done better, but not taking the weight of everything plus the world on my shoulders. (And I'd better hurry on that; yesterday I was diagnosed with a fully torn bicep tendon that may need surgery. Fortunately we have two tendons there, so I can at least use my arm for basic activities. But Lordy, do my shoulder, arm, and elbow hurt!) It sure is a long, slow process. As with so much on this grief journey, some days are better than others that way. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 31, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 16 hours ago, ScotJ65 said: Anger when I think about the absolute madness of pouring $£trillions into nuclear weapons when it could be used to fund research into finding cures for the diseases which claim so many lives prematurely. I hear you on that one, the gov't wastes a lot of $ that we can't comprehend, unlike us, who learn to live within our means, they'll just raise taxes, print more $ and give away $ we can't afford to other countries while our own people do without. tnd is a prime example, no help for her needing housing but they're doing all kinds of stuff for refugees that never paid into our system. Not saying they shouldn't just saying where is it for our own people, nothing makes sense. The proposed budget cut in half, bet you and I could find something else to cut though. Yet you're right, no help medically for our own. Same with Rxs...why do they cost more here than everywhere else? 15 hours ago, foreverhis said: I was diagnosed with a fully torn bicep tendon that may need surgery. Oh no! Let us know when you know more... This is not an easy journey...alone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted October 31, 2021 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2021 On 10/30/2021 at 5:40 PM, foreverhis said: yesterday I was diagnosed with a fully torn bicep tendon that may need surgery. Fortunately we have two tendons there, so I can at least use my arm for basic activities. But Lordy, do my shoulder, arm, and elbow hurt!) Foreverhis, I hope you can take it easy and get your arm fixed. I hope everything goes well for you and I pray you recover from this unfortunate incident. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted November 1, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted November 1, 2021 First I want to thank all of you for your replies. Offhand tbh I'm too tired to do it one by one and I'm just so weary of the topic. (I know, then why did I bring it up....good question) Specifically though Kay, I felt compelled to respond to this: On 10/30/2021 at 11:14 AM, KayC said: when I lost my Arlie (dog) to cancer, I fed him a Colitis diet which had meat, multiple vegetables and brown rice...rice is a carb, even though brown is a complex one, nonetheless a carb, and guess what, it feeds cancer, that's what kills me, did I help kill my dog? My husband? I can tell you the answer to that one is a big huge no. Yes carbs become sugar in our body, but "sugar feeds cancer" is a myth (among many) with no basis in fact. You gave your dog a healthy diet. If you want to feel guilty about something, you'll need to find something else. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 1, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted November 1, 2021 I have read countless info on diet and yes, it does play a role in cancer's spread. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3267662/ Keto for Cancer: Benefits, Cancer Prevention & More My point here is not to argue carbs effects (I've been studying diet for two years) but to say that we all struggle with the "what ifs" in early grief. The fact is, Arlie had other circumstances (lifelong Colitis, intolerance to antibiotics) and sometimes it's a balancing act at best to try to help with diet as we were forced to. I meet people every day in my Diabetes group for which "the norm" doesn't necessarily work for them because of THEIR extenuating circumstances. It's important to find what works best for each of us and do that, and it's a crap shoot along the way, sometimes we get our information too late. And no, I don't "WANT" to feel guilty about something. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted November 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 On 10/30/2021 at 11:27 AM, Roxeanne said: Yes...but how we knew then ? And it would changed things ? Sometimes i feel guilt again...but it is a truly torture we experienced on ourselves... I don't want play this slaughter game anymore... we are powerless, we couldn't save them! I agree with Kay: Roxeanne: I totally agree with you. Every time I wander into guilt territory I stop and tell myself that it will not bring back my husband. I feel like there were things I should have done to prevent my husband from ending up in the hospital but, he knew what to do too. He knew what he needed to do and for whatever reason, he didn't. I can't change the outcome. No one can. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post tnd Posted November 2, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 On 10/29/2021 at 11:14 PM, widower2 said: That is about where I'm at lately. I am just so furious with myself for being so inadequate, so stupid. And please don't tell me I'm being too hard on myself because while I appreciate the intent, it's simply incorrect. Trust me if you knew the details you couldn't in all honesty disagree. widower2: Everyone has regrets. And if someone ever says they don't or haven't said/done stupid things, they are lying. I have some very deep regrets that I am actually very ashamed of. And nothing justifies some of the things I've said/done. So I have to live with that -a lot of regrets. But I hope that as I go into the future this burden will motivate me to not make the same mistakes again. That this will serve as a reason for my wanting to do better and change how I look at or even how I handle things. We will be paying for our regrets for the rest of our lives but others don't have to because of that. That's probably the one thing we can do about it -go forward and use our regrets and stupidity to do better. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post mfreedmn97 Posted November 2, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 Regrets are the slipperiest of slopes. For example Im still so sad that I feel like i didn't get to say all the things I wanted to say ( maybe i did over time but not at the end) or that her death could have 'better managed' - she chose MAID - and that didn't exactly go as planned. I could look back on soooo much stuff and beat myself up over it - and for a good few weeks i did - but im not anymore. Or at least trying NOT to. It's done and in the past and the longer i hold on to it the worse my days are and the harder is is to get to the other side of this. Letting this stuff go is the hardest thing. But i'll paraphrase a line that Andy Dufresne said in the (most excellent) movie Shawshank Redemption : There comes a time when a man has to decide to get busy living or get busy dying. Im making my choice. I may have to crawl through a river of $hit just like he did in that movie but I'm going to do this. and i'll wager that YOU can too. All of us. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted November 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 7 minutes ago, mfreedmn97 said: But i'll paraphrase a line that Andy Dufresne said in the (most excellent) movie Shawshank Redemption : There comes a time when a man has to decide to get busy living or get busy dying. Im making my choice. I may have to crawl through a river of $hit just like he did in that movie but I'm going to do this. mfreedom97: I've never watched the movie but I like that quote. It hit me the other night that my husband may be gone but not my memory of him. I can do a lot of good with that. I want to be his champion, his hero. Don't exactly know how yet but I'll start by holding my chin up a little higher. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted November 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 On 11/1/2021 at 8:50 AM, KayC said: My point here is not to argue carbs effects (I've been studying diet for two years) but to say that we all struggle with the "what ifs" in early grief. KayC: Although I can't remember specifics, I remember my diabetic husband told me something about carbs and wheat products. He couldn't have enriched wheat and had to watch his carbs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted November 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2021 3 hours ago, tnd said: I've never watched the movie but I like that quote Tnd, you must watch it. One of the best movies ever made, I never get tired of watching it when it's on tv. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members annie123 Posted November 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 Sparky, I love that movie, I have seen it about 8 times and would watch it again. One of my favorite shows!!! I love when Red gets to see the Ocean and his friend Andy Dufresne for the first time in a awhile!!!!!!!!! Great cast!!!!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Darlene13 Posted November 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 That was one of our favorite movies, too. We watched it countless times over the years. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted November 3, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 On 11/1/2021 at 9:50 AM, KayC said: no, I don't "WANT" to feel guilty about something Of course not. An ill-advised, tongue-in-cheek choice of words on my part; apologies. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 3, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 19 hours ago, tnd said: And if someone ever says they don't or haven't said/done stupid things, they are lying. Or maybe they don't self examine, don't think about it. Not everyone is as self aware. 18 hours ago, mfreedmn97 said: I could look back on soooo much stuff and beat myself up over it - and for a good few weeks i did - but im not anymore. Or at least trying NOT to Good for you. And I don't think it is something we can get through without deliberate choice to. 18 hours ago, tnd said: I've never watched the movie but I like that quote. OMG, if you ever get a chance to watch it, it is one of my favorite movies! VERY good! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 3, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 18 hours ago, tnd said: KayC: Although I can't remember specifics, I remember my diabetic husband told me something about carbs and wheat products. He couldn't have enriched wheat and had to watch his carbs. Definitely, we have intolerance and avoid carbs, gluten too, I avoid grains and starches, also juices and most fruits. Our bodies don't process sugars/carbs like others do. 9 hours ago, widower2 said: Of course not. An ill-advised, tongue-in-cheek choice of words on my part; apologies. I know that's what you said but NOT what you were meaning. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted November 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2021 19 hours ago, Sparky1 said: Tnd, you must watch it. One of the best movies ever made, I never get tired of watching it when it's on tv. Sparky1: Will do! I know my husband liked it. I may have seen parts of it, not sure. But I will watch it through to it's entirety if given the opportunity. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted November 9, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted November 9, 2021 Just be warned it is very dark and at times quite violent but yes it is a great movie. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted November 9, 2021 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2021 16 hours ago, widower2 said: Just be warned it is very dark and at times quite violent but yes it is a great movie. widower2: Thanks for the warning. That might be why I never watched it. My husband loved it. He's also watched every mafia movie ever made (he was adopted by a Sicilian family). But when I think the time is right and that I can handle it, I will watch it. Just because you said so. lol 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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