Truth

[BBB]

Quote

 

People keep telling me that life goes on. To me that's the saddest part.

[Zee24]

It is. Places and people and politics and things you discover, things that you need and you just have to go through all of it with a hole, feeling unlike yourself. Yeah that’s sad. 

[foreverhis]

That is one of the more inane things people say, especially when they don’t know what to say.  Perhaps even more so when they mean, “Your grief is making us uncomfortable because we don’t want to face the fact that it will happen to us someday. We want our lives to go on like before, so please pretend that you haven’t lost your world.”  Well yes, we go on living (whether we want to or not), but no, the life we had and who we were is gone forever.

It’s all part of the absolute denial of real loss and grief and how profoundly it changes us. In a culture obsessed with youth and superficial appearances, there’s no room for the reality of our shattered hearts and lives. Not only do others not understand, they often do not want to understand.

If we are lucky, as I am, the people who care about us most will admit they don’t and can’t “get it,” but they allow us to grieve. They comfort, love, and help where they can.

[tnd]

7 hours ago, BBB said:

People keep telling me that life goes on. To me that's the saddest part.

BBB: Yes, life does go on but during times like this, it stops for some of us and for me, I have periods of "time" that I do not wish for my life to continue. I am however, going to make a go of it but I already know that I will still experience moments that I don't want to live without my husband. When people say "life goes on" that only marginalizes our grief and they haven't the right to do that. We need empathy, not lectures and stupid comments.    

[KayC]

23 hours ago, BBB said:

People keep telling me that life goes on. To me that's the saddest part.

It does for them, for us it changed the moment they passed.  I did not understand how the sun could shine without HIM in it!

[widower2]

8 hours ago, KayC said:

It does for them

Bingo. While I do technically still exist, and I have no death wish, I'm not "alive" in any meaningful sense of the word. So in that respect, they're wrong...life (my life) does NOT go on. It ended when she did. And admittedly, that's on me...if I really wanted to, I could get out more, make new friends, even maybe date again. I just don't want to. I feel like a balloon that all the air has leaked out of. There's just no energy there. 

[Yoli]

On 9/3/2021 at 3:08 AM, BBB said:

People keep telling me that life goes on.

How about you just tell them; Yes, life goes on for YOU. To me, life for people who have lost the other part of them is on a parallel universe. Heading in the same direction but not in the same space.