Loss of sibling

[Rhialenee]

Hi, 

This is my first time posting but I've been poking around for a while. 

I lost my brother in January of 2020. He fought with Alport Syndrome, a genetic kidney disorder and we were told he would die by the age of 12. He made it to 31! He didnt die from the kidney disorder he had a massive heart attack in his sleep. He passed somewhat peacefully. I'm still having a hard time dealing with this so any tips would be welcome. My brother was my rock and my protector.... idk what to do without him.

[reader]

Dear Rhialenee,

I am so sorry for your loss. Coping with a devastating loss is very hard. Please know there is no fixed timeline to grief. 

Have you tried to talk to a grief counsellor? Joining a grief support group or church group? I want you to feel supported and that you are able to talk about your loss. I know this looks different for each person. For myself, I tried a little bit of everything from arts and crafts, talking to a therapist, working, shopping, writing and joining this forum. But I feel mostly it's been the passage of time that eased some of the intensity. Almost 5 years now for me and still some days are still hard.

There is also a lot of good resources at these sites.

Grief in Common

Grief Share

Grief Healing Blog

What's Your Grief

Thinking of you.

 

[Rhialenee]

Honestly I'm not very good with groups which is why my counsolor suggested this website. I've tried cognitive therapy and it has helped some but nothing is like having my brother back. So I figured maybe talking to someone else who has also lost someone close to them might help. 

 

My mom has had a hard time as well and I believe she is still in denial..... shes moved out of state and is acting like everything is ok but I can tell when theres something wrong. She used to be my best friend....

[reader]

I hear where you're coming from and I'm the same about groups being an introvert and a private person. We all have to find what works for us. Please know this is a safe place to express yourself.

The Grief Healing Blog also has a forum. Grief in Common offers some one on one counselling as well.

Sorry about your mom moving out of state. It's hard. We all deal with our sadness and loss in different ways. Try to keep the lines of communication open with calls, messages, texts and emails. I find simple words like I'm thinking of you can really help. Let her know you love her and will be there if she needs to talk when she is ready.

Take care.

[Rhialenee]

Thank you for the restores and your kind words.... you dont know how much I needed to hear that today and to know theres kind people and I have a safe place to talk.

[reader]

Please know we are here with you. 

Take care, my friend. Wishing you peace and comfort.

[Rhialenee]

Thank you 

[Rhialenee]

So today would have been his 33rd birthday. Just thought I'd share a bit about him. 

Scott was the funniest,most kindhearted asshole ever. He was one of a kind for sure. He loved playing pranks and teasing you but in a way that you would laugh too. He made everything fun, except when he was mad lol. I miss him today but it's not bad its like hes here with me and I'm ok with that today.

[reader]

Thinking of you. Please know you can share anything with us. (((hugs)))

 

[Rhialenee]

Thank you all so much.

Valerie, I appreciate you posting those quotes because honestly right now I am questioning my faith for taking him. I'm sure everyone goes through this at some point. I have just been waiting for a sign that hes ok to no avail. However, you pop in with the bible quotes and suddenly I feel better knowing that "God got me", just like my brother said the week before he died.

Again thank you all,

Mary