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Brother passing after brutal fight with colon cancer


Jade Bushell

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Jade Bushell

Hi, my name is Jade and my brother passed away on Tuesday July 7, 2021 at 2-2:15 PM.  I have been suffering with him ever since he was diagnosed and I dont know what is worse, seeing him battling, dying, or being gone forever.  Cancer like that is horror and inhumane. My brother stayed brave and never complained but I could feel and see his pain everyday.  We had a difficult upbringing with a very angry father.  But we had each other.  He is/was such honorable man who was soft spoken, kind, never smoked, drank nor ever tried drugs.  Myself and my two sisters lived a much roller coaster life and tried everything.  Not my brother he remained stable throughout his life.  We all looked up to him.  He had so much to live for and enjoyed his life with his wife and two amazing boys 18 and 13. Why is life so unfair?  Why has his life been cut short and mine extended even though I have lived with crippling depression all of my life and often wished I wasn't here.  I miss his presence, his mild mannerisms and listening to him playing the guitar.  Having a cup of tea or coffee and his perfect white smile.  He suffered from analysis spondylitis since 20 years of age and was on Celebrex for many years when a doctor suggested a new medication administrated through an IV every so often in a hospital.  I cannot remember the name but I remember looking it up a few years ago and remember reading it could cause cancer in very small letters.  I feel angry, sad, hopeless and scared.  Why do we have to die anyways?  Beings that are so aware of everything.  I saw my poor brother just wasting away before me. Tumors taking over his whole body.  Forcing him to take morphine and fethanol.  To all the people out there please dont try these drugs for passing time and become addicted and eventually take your life.  My brother had to take it for his unbearable pain but didn't like it, I am sure.  I have to move on without my brother in it, but dont know how.  Everything seem so pointless. Just filling time until it is our time.  I like to believe in God and an afterlife but cannot wrap my brain around this concept.  Even though I have some experiences that might be from God.  Not sure. I wanted to ask my brother that if he was in heaven to ask permission to see me and tell me about it, in a vision or something so I dont have to be scared of dying nor feel so sad about losing him.  I wish everyone my condolences and my heart goes out to all who have lost their loved ones.  

Regards, Jade

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GribbleMC1

Hello Jade.

First off I am extremely sorry to read of your loss - I send my deepest condolences to you and your family at this incredibly sad time. I am on here because I recently lost my mom, but I have also lost a brother so I know exactly how you are feeling.

You have been through a terrible experiences, and no words can take away what you have been through. I understand your sadness, your frustration and I have asked the same questions you have.

If you want to talk, please feel free to directly message me anytime. 

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