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What is Death


LMR

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LMR and Magda—There are many posts on this site about near-death experiences and so forth that might help you?   I was addressing the mind-bogglng frustration that I think you are finding — we just have no answers. 

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5 hours ago, AnnRA said:

There are many posts on this site about near-death experiences and so forth that might help you?

I have had two NDEs plus a dream of one that seemed very real (it did make me wonder!).  Both of these links where I tell about them.
https://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/forum/15-loss-of-a-partner/

https://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/topic/17821-its-been-a-week-and-each-day-seems-harder-not-easier/&do=findComment&comment=206624

You can do a search and find more: https://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/search/&q=NDE&quick=1

  

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6 hours ago, AnnRA said:

I keep wanting to ask my husband all those absurd questions, like, “So, what was it like when you went? Where? Did you know you were going?  Where are you now?”  Etc,  just like we always did!  Apologies if this sounds absurd, but for all the million things we talked about, and learned about, together, we cannot understand, together, this most important of all experiences.  And that makes our loss so much more heartbreaking...

 

 

Me too.  My sister and I have talked about this different times.  We just want to ask, "Where are you? Do you watch over me...sometimes? All the time?  What's it like where you are?"  I think you described it well...it's so hard to comprehend that this very important thing we cannot talk to them about after all the years of discussing everything.  

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15 hours ago, LMR said:

Maybe you shouted or threw something or even cried. This is how I feel all the time, like its a question that should have an answer but I don't know what it is.

LMR:  I feel that way too and it boggles the mind. The permanency of death and what it means is just very hard for me grasp. My husband was a Christian and his faith was strong. The fact that he would tell me that in the Bible God says that in Heaven, we will not feel any pain or sorrow or recollect bad memories is something that comforts me. It doesn't answer my questions but maybe now I just need to think more about my husband being in a better place and no longer suffering. Guess I'll have some of my own questions answered when it's my time to go. 

On a separate note (I guess), I had a close friend who was in a horrible car accident. She accidently drove her car off a cliff (she missed a curve). She sustained a permanent head injury. Months later she told me that something was bothering her. Although she couldn't remember the accident, she said she remembered being in the back seat of her car and having a conversation with herself -there were two of her and they talked to each other. She had no pain. She asked her "other self" what they were doing there because she said she had things to do so needed to get going. And she remembered seeing two arms reaching in towards her. Her "other self" asked her to go with her but the other her that saw the arms reaching in reiterated that she had things to do so no, she couldn't go. After my friend told me this, we concluded that perhaps she had an "out of body" or "near death" experience and that the two arms reaching for her were the paramedics, because they did have to pull her out. The thing that still stands out in my mind about her experience was that she said she didn't feel any pain. 

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I talk to my husband all the time, many times each day.  I do believe he can hear me. 

Three times, in the first 2 years after his death, I had very vivid dreams with John.  Each time we both knew he was dead and we talked about our boys, work, his memorial fund, how lost I was without him. He was very comforting to me, very encouraging, that I could get through this.  He played with our dog and really enjoyed that.  I never asked him about where he was. 

If I have another dream with  him, I try to remember to ask.

Gail

 

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3 minutes ago, Gail 8588 said:

Three times, in the first 2 years after his death, I had very vivid dreams with John.  Each time we both knew he was dead and we talked about our boys, work, his memorial fund, how lost I was without him. He was very comforting to me, very encouraging, that I could get through this.  He played with our dog and really enjoyed that.  

 

I'd give anything just to experience that even once with David.  So jealous...

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19 hours ago, tnd said:

Although she couldn't remember the accident, she said she remembered being in the back seat of her car and having a conversation with herself -there were two of her and they talked to each other.

This was an amazing story of an NDE, thank you for sharing.

 

12 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

I talk to my husband all the time, many times each day.  I do believe he can hear me. 

I do also, I just wish we could carry on conversations, I'd be more okay if we could.

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Thank you so much for sharing your NDE story. I recently watched the documentary on Netflix sirviving death. It really made me believe that there is something beyond this. My father passed away 4 years ago from dementia. I moved in to take care of him before he passed and saw how much pain he was in because he had more health problems and 7 strokes and needed 24 hour care and my mom couldn’t do it alone. Watching him go through that was awful. I cried every day after his death. After 6 months my father came to me in a dream and told me that I was crying too much and not to because he was no longer in pain and it was beautiful were he was. We hugged in my dream and when I woke up I felt his embrace. I still cried after that dream but I felt better because it felt real and do believe that he is in a better place. I pray I dream about my husband and he tells me how he is. 

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11 minutes ago, Ainslie said:

We hugged in my dream and when I woke up I felt his embrace. I still cried after that dream but I felt better because it felt real and do believe that he is in a better place. I pray I dream about my husband and he tells me how he is. 

I hope he comes to you in a dream too and that it's a good one. I still haven't dreamt about mine. Only experienced the smell of diesel in the middle of the night but no dreams yet. Perhaps my mind is too filled with stress right now that it won't allow any sort of "good dreams" in. No room for it right now I guess. 

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Tnd, I pray every night and ask him to come visit me in my dreams but wake up disappointed. I think that he will come to me I just have to be patient. But I think you’re right when we are so stressed we can’t think let alone dream. I barely sleep or do much of anything these days but I hope in time we will both see are loved ones in a dream. 

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14 hours ago, tnd said:

Perhaps my mind is too filled with stress right now that it won't allow any sort of "good dreams" in

I didn't dream of George the first year, I figure this is probably why as well.  I rarely remember my dreams so maybe that's part of it.

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I pray everyday and ask God to let my husband appear to me in a dream .  I just want to hug him and say goodbye, I never got to say goodbye.  I don't want to give up hope that it will happen, I'll keep on praying...

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7 hours ago, annie123 said:

I just want to hug him and say goodbye, I never got to say goodbye.  I don't want to give up hope that it will happen, I'll keep on praying...

annie123:  I didn't get to say goodbye to my husband, either. It hurts. The nurses were there giving him CPR in the ICU while I was on the phone with one of them.  So he wasn't alone but I wasn't there to hold his hand, kiss him goodbye or tell him I loved him. So that hurts. But now I realize that even if I had been there, I'd still be hurting. He was slipping away to that wonderful place we've all heard about -Heaven. I couldn't deny him of that. But either way, I am left here without him and hurting. If I could see him in a nice dream and speak to him, I  think it might help. So I wait. But I try not to think about it. If it happens, it happens. Perhaps I'm too stressed out over things that I'm unable to have a nice dream and perhaps you are wishing too hard for it ???  Maybe they will come to us when the time is right and not necessarily just because we say we want it now.  

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12 hours ago, KayC said:

Talk aloud to him...I do.

You have plenty of company. (I mean us talking to our loved ones, not talking to yours per se ;) ) 

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38 minutes ago, widower2 said:

You have plenty of company. (I mean us talking to our loved ones, not talking to yours per se

widower2:  I don't know why but that cracked me up. Maybe I am totally losing it now but I pictured all of our loved ones standing around waiting to see which one of us were going to talk next. 

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