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Mother dies in hospice


Lee Lawson

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Lee Lawson

My wife's mother was admitted to the hospital unresponsive with COPD, pulmonary embolism, 2 spots on lung believed to be cancer and lytic lesions on several vertebrae, plus a fractured vertebrae.

Even though she was unresponsive, she screamed in agony when they moved her to do CT scans and X-Rays.They put her on a BiPAP machine to reduce co2 buildup from the COPD, but she didn't respond to that treatment. The doctor told us it was probably time to seek hospice care.

We opted to do that, but it was hard on my wife because she was the one who had to request the pain meds every 2 hours for her mother. Now that she has passed, she feels like it wasn't our decision to have made. She now feels like we should have had an option to treat her further to see if she would come around to decide on hospice.

She is miserable now, and just walks around the house saying, "I killed my momma, I killed my beautiful momma." over and over for hours at a time.

How do I help her?

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Dear Lee,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law. Your wife made a very difficult decision. It's so hard, but she made the best decision she could. I too felt that way after my dad passed. I hope she will find a therapist or grief counsellor or support group that might help her through this sad and difficult time.

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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