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Coping with Father's Day


KayC

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I'm so sorry Kay...life can be hard even if you are determined to make it lighter...as you did in the last long 16 years!

I hope that tomorrow you will remember the good moments with George....

A huge hug Roxi

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KayC: You were a lovely bride! That's a nice picture! I love your dress! Okay, I admit, I wore something similar...all flowery. Did you keep it? My husband asked me to keep mine so I did. Guess I will bring it along when I move. I have our wedding picture on top of a dresser and plan to keep that too and somewhere that I can see it every day. Wasn't just a special day but so full of laughter, blunders and comedy. Good memories. I hope you will somehow be able to enjoy your own memories of you and your George tomorrow.  

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I'm so sorry that you have to feel so alone on the anniversary of his death. I am in the same situation because while he didn't die on father's day, he died a few days beforehand, so I empathize with your pain. Holidays are so very hard, but it encourages me to see that after so long since his death, you are still here, still moving forward. It's only been a year for me but time seems so stagnant and hateful. I hope I can have your courage to keep going through this pain.

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12 hours ago, tnd said:

Did you keep it?

Yes, I can wear it still, although it's a little big on me now, I loved it from the time I saw it.  It wasn't our first marriage so we wanted a simple wedding at a chapel.  My little sister took that picture and framed it (this picture doesn't show the frame).  

My neighbor invited me to watch Lady and the Tramp tonight with them while our puppies play.  At least it'll take up some time, it's always hard getting through this day and not hearing from anyone doesn't help.

Thank you all for your warm wishes and thoughts, it means a lot to me!

11 hours ago, Courthw said:

it encourages me to see that after so long since his death, you are still here, still moving forward

My purpose is to use those things I have experienced to be there for others, to take something hard and use it for good somehow.  I truly care about each of you and want to help you through this if I can. :wub:

Thank you all for your kindness, it means so much to me!

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35 minutes ago, KimK said:

I'm new at this grief thing (3 months) and can't really focus on tv yet, but I look forward to being able to lose myself in a book or movie again one day.

KimK:  I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband just 12 days ago. Life feels a scattered mess and I can't seem to stay focused on any of it. We didn't watch a lot of tv to begin with but now I don't watch it at all, except to check the weather. I will turn the tv on but hit the mute button and walk away. Then turn it back off before going to bed. I don't even play the radio anymore or music. Suppose it will be a while. The radio and music were things I enjoyed with or without him being near. I hope to get back that part of normalcy. Hope you do, too. 

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Kay, 

I hope the day has been easier than you feared. Glad your neighbor is having you over.  Seeing the pup playing is always good for your spirits. 

Hugs,

Gail

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Kay I'm also glad that you spent time with your neighbour. For you it's especially hard to be alone on such a day. My wife always made me feel special on Father's Day and this is my first without her and 2 of the kids called, so that cheered me up a bit. It's definitely not the same without her.

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Hi kay
I'm still here.
Was thinking of you today.
I'm still running,it helps.
I've had a guy for 15 months and he was so good to me and helped me value myself again.
We split today because I found out he has a wife in Mexico.
But it isn't a bad experience.He loves me I'm sure but I'd rather be alone than think he may go back at any time.I'm okay though.
Love you sister.

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

Kay, I will be thinking of you and praying for you tomorrow.
Father’s Day is hard enough without it being surrounded by the anniversary of losing your precious George. I’m so sorry and wish I could give you a huge hug.[emoji3590]
I've been thinking of you also dear one.Life has been...a ride.
Hope your well

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

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On 6/20/2021 at 12:56 PM, KimK said:

I'm new at this grief thing (3 months) and can't really focus on tv yet

I didn't watch t.v. for years after, canceled my cable when he died to save on bills but could not focus anyway.  I couldn't see the t.v. as it was very dark with a glare from the window but listened, it took up some time and it's always good to feel wanted by people.  The dogs had a good time, Kodie got his muddiest, took me 1/2 hour of spraying water on him to get him semi-clean!  

 I hope you found some degree of peace as well and were able to read.

 

16 hours ago, Billie Rae said:

We split today because I found out he has a wife in Mexico.

OMG!  I'm so sorry!  :wub:  Very hard discovery.  

 

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Thank you.  It amazes me I never hear from family in my hardest times.  I tried to call my son last night but he was too busy.  Kids don't have a clue what it's like to go through this stage of life, thinking we should be over it by now (loss of husband) and not having any comprehension what I'm dealing with, with my sister's being held against her will in the rehab place that isn't doing her any good, when she wants to come home and is afraid she won't be allowed to.  This could be me in a few years.  I need someone who cares...who/where is that person!

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Kay, 

I am sorry your sisters situation has grown more complicated.  And I am sorry you are left to deal with it. It is emotionally and physically exhausting. 

Try to take some time for yourself.

Hugs,

Gail

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6 hours ago, KayC said:

It amazes me I never hear from family in my hardest times.  I tried to call my son last night but he was too busy.  Kids don't have a clue what it's like to go through this stage of life, thinking we should be over it by now

KayC:  After my mother died 8 yrs ago and altho I love him, I kind of avoided her common-law husband. My husband and I had just started his home hemo-dialysis treatments, which took up most of my time 6x week. I was grieving the loss of my mother while also having to cope with and help my husband. It couldn't wait. But I have to admit, a part of me really did not want to be with or talk to my mother's husband because altho he and I get along, he was grieving too. And every time I'd talk to him on the phone he'd talk all about missing my mom, which of course was understandable but, extremely sad. I missed her too. I felt terrible for the both of us. But even tho I felt guilty for not talking to him or spending the time with him as often as I should have, I felt it was just too hard to face -his grief AND mine. AND my husband's dialysis and his grief from losing the function of his kidneys. I tell you this story because I wonder if your son might still be grieving and pushing you away as a way to get away from sadness or having to talk about it. Or about anything that brings him any sadness for that matter. Maybe he doesn't want to face knowing what you've gone thru/going thru because he feels he can't help.  

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Ahh, Kodie keeps me going.  I'm dog sitting his best friend Jazzy starting in a couple of hours.

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