Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted June 18, 2021 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted June 18, 2021 This is especially hard for me as my husband died on June 19, 2005, Father's Day. My kids are always with their dad (my XH) on Father's Day and my son is a father himself now, but I am always alone to go through anniversary of death. https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/06/coping-with-grief-on-fathers-day.html 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post foreverhis Posted June 18, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 18, 2021 Kay, I will be thinking of you and praying for you tomorrow. Father’s Day is hard enough without it being surrounded by the anniversary of losing your precious George. I’m so sorry and wish I could give you a huge hug.❤️ 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 18, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 18, 2021 You just did! Thank you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxeanne Posted June 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 18, 2021 I'm so sorry Kay...life can be hard even if you are determined to make it lighter...as you did in the last long 16 years! I hope that tomorrow you will remember the good moments with George.... A huge hug Roxi 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post SDC Posted June 18, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 18, 2021 I'm sorry Kay. Death anniversaries are hard enough without hearing/seeing the date advertised for weeks leading up to it. It stinks that you endure reminders on top of your own internal awareness of the approaching date. I'll be thinking of you this weekend & sending you calming vibes. Hugs from a fellow grief traveler. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted June 19, 2021 Author Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted June 19, 2021 Thank you, both of you! I posted this on FB today... 16 years ago (Father's Day 2005) I lost my soulmate and best friend, the most loving, caring soul I've ever met, my George. I miss and love him just as much as I did then. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nikkinaz Posted June 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2021 @KayC My thoughts are with you ! Sending my love and hugs to you xx 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Beau Posted June 19, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 19, 2021 @KayC I'm very sorry that you're likely to be alone tomorrow. I've always believed that most holidays need to be toned down so people can celebrate or not as they see fit, or focus on their individual experience rather than mass produced sentiments and thoughts. I hope your day goes peacefully and quietly, and that even if its father's day you feel some level of support and attention from your family. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted June 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 KayC: You were a lovely bride! That's a nice picture! I love your dress! Okay, I admit, I wore something similar...all flowery. Did you keep it? My husband asked me to keep mine so I did. Guess I will bring it along when I move. I have our wedding picture on top of a dresser and plan to keep that too and somewhere that I can see it every day. Wasn't just a special day but so full of laughter, blunders and comedy. Good memories. I hope you will somehow be able to enjoy your own memories of you and your George tomorrow. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Courthw Posted June 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 I'm so sorry that you have to feel so alone on the anniversary of his death. I am in the same situation because while he didn't die on father's day, he died a few days beforehand, so I empathize with your pain. Holidays are so very hard, but it encourages me to see that after so long since his death, you are still here, still moving forward. It's only been a year for me but time seems so stagnant and hateful. I hope I can have your courage to keep going through this pain. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 20, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 12 hours ago, tnd said: Did you keep it? Yes, I can wear it still, although it's a little big on me now, I loved it from the time I saw it. It wasn't our first marriage so we wanted a simple wedding at a chapel. My little sister took that picture and framed it (this picture doesn't show the frame). My neighbor invited me to watch Lady and the Tramp tonight with them while our puppies play. At least it'll take up some time, it's always hard getting through this day and not hearing from anyone doesn't help. Thank you all for your warm wishes and thoughts, it means a lot to me! 11 hours ago, Courthw said: it encourages me to see that after so long since his death, you are still here, still moving forward My purpose is to use those things I have experienced to be there for others, to take something hard and use it for good somehow. I truly care about each of you and want to help you through this if I can. Thank you all for your kindness, it means so much to me! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post KimK Posted June 20, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 I pray you feel some measure of peace today. I was going to skip church, as they always do something for father's day and my 8 yo daughter had said a few days earlier that Father's Day would be so hard... but she wanted to go anyway. And it turned out really nice. I think none of us are ok, but to have kind people care is something, isn't it? And I am thankful your neighbor invited you over for a bit. I'm new at this grief thing (3 months) and can't really focus on tv yet, but I look forward to being able to lose myself in a book or movie again one day. Hang in there. Hugs from afar. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted June 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 35 minutes ago, KimK said: I'm new at this grief thing (3 months) and can't really focus on tv yet, but I look forward to being able to lose myself in a book or movie again one day. KimK: I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband just 12 days ago. Life feels a scattered mess and I can't seem to stay focused on any of it. We didn't watch a lot of tv to begin with but now I don't watch it at all, except to check the weather. I will turn the tv on but hit the mute button and walk away. Then turn it back off before going to bed. I don't even play the radio anymore or music. Suppose it will be a while. The radio and music were things I enjoyed with or without him being near. I hope to get back that part of normalcy. Hope you do, too. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted June 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 Kay, I hope the day has been easier than you feared. Glad your neighbor is having you over. Seeing the pup playing is always good for your spirits. Hugs, Gail 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted June 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2021 Kay I'm also glad that you spent time with your neighbour. For you it's especially hard to be alone on such a day. My wife always made me feel special on Father's Day and this is my first without her and 2 of the kids called, so that cheered me up a bit. It's definitely not the same without her. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Billie Rae Posted June 21, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 21, 2021 Hi kayI'm still here.Was thinking of you today.I'm still running,it helps.I've had a guy for 15 months and he was so good to me and helped me value myself again.We split today because I found out he has a wife in Mexico.But it isn't a bad experience.He loves me I'm sure but I'd rather be alone than think he may go back at any time.I'm okay though.Love you sister.Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app Kay, I will be thinking of you and praying for you tomorrow. Father’s Day is hard enough without it being surrounded by the anniversary of losing your precious George. I’m so sorry and wish I could give you a huge hug.[emoji3590]I've been thinking of you also dear one.Life has been...a ride.Hope your wellSent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 21, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 21, 2021 On 6/20/2021 at 12:56 PM, KimK said: I'm new at this grief thing (3 months) and can't really focus on tv yet I didn't watch t.v. for years after, canceled my cable when he died to save on bills but could not focus anyway. I couldn't see the t.v. as it was very dark with a glare from the window but listened, it took up some time and it's always good to feel wanted by people. The dogs had a good time, Kodie got his muddiest, took me 1/2 hour of spraying water on him to get him semi-clean! I hope you found some degree of peace as well and were able to read. 16 hours ago, Billie Rae said: We split today because I found out he has a wife in Mexico. OMG! I'm so sorry! Very hard discovery. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members annie123 Posted June 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2021 Kay. my thoughts were with you on Sunday. Hugs to you!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 22, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 22, 2021 Thank you. It amazes me I never hear from family in my hardest times. I tried to call my son last night but he was too busy. Kids don't have a clue what it's like to go through this stage of life, thinking we should be over it by now (loss of husband) and not having any comprehension what I'm dealing with, with my sister's being held against her will in the rehab place that isn't doing her any good, when she wants to come home and is afraid she won't be allowed to. This could be me in a few years. I need someone who cares...who/where is that person! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted June 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2021 Kay, I am sorry your sisters situation has grown more complicated. And I am sorry you are left to deal with it. It is emotionally and physically exhausting. Try to take some time for yourself. Hugs, Gail 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted June 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2021 6 hours ago, KayC said: It amazes me I never hear from family in my hardest times. I tried to call my son last night but he was too busy. Kids don't have a clue what it's like to go through this stage of life, thinking we should be over it by now KayC: After my mother died 8 yrs ago and altho I love him, I kind of avoided her common-law husband. My husband and I had just started his home hemo-dialysis treatments, which took up most of my time 6x week. I was grieving the loss of my mother while also having to cope with and help my husband. It couldn't wait. But I have to admit, a part of me really did not want to be with or talk to my mother's husband because altho he and I get along, he was grieving too. And every time I'd talk to him on the phone he'd talk all about missing my mom, which of course was understandable but, extremely sad. I missed her too. I felt terrible for the both of us. But even tho I felt guilty for not talking to him or spending the time with him as often as I should have, I felt it was just too hard to face -his grief AND mine. AND my husband's dialysis and his grief from losing the function of his kidneys. I tell you this story because I wonder if your son might still be grieving and pushing you away as a way to get away from sadness or having to talk about it. Or about anything that brings him any sadness for that matter. Maybe he doesn't want to face knowing what you've gone thru/going thru because he feels he can't help. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted June 23, 2021 Author Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 No, that's not it, I think its his wife's influence that has brought about these changes. She pretended when they were going together, cast all pretense aside when they married, she tries to pull him away from me, she has nothing to do with me. I've never done anything to her, I am not competition, it's her own insecurity and selfishness. It took years, but he's finally pulled away. Nothing occurred, it just is, I think some of it is he truly is busy, raising his family. But as busy as I was with my family when the kids were growing up, I never ignored my mom. And she was a bad mom. I was a great one. Sigh. It is what it is. Just another heartbreak. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Gail 8588 Posted June 23, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 23, 2021 Kay, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. It is certainly understandable with all the responsibilities riding on your shoulders. It would wear anyone down. Make time for Kodi, he will do his part to support you with loving eyes, wagging tail and a few licks here and there. Gail 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 24, 2021 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 24, 2021 Ahh, Kodie keeps me going. I'm dog sitting his best friend Jazzy starting in a couple of hours. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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