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She's not dead but she's gone


mhh8360

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So this is kind of an unusual grieve and I'm really struggling with the loss of my roommates dog. 

Three years ago my roommate got a puppy. Since then I've helped raise her, I've cared for her, I walk her everyday, I spend a lot of time with her as I WFH. I love her and she loves me.

In a few days my roommate is leaving to the west coast (I'm on East). And she's taking her dog. She hasn't even left yet and I am so so sad. I can't even talk about her leaving without crying and every night I end up sobbing in bed I'm dreading it so much. 

Im going to miss her so much, wondering if she is distressed without me around. If she thinks I have abandoned her or all the reminders of her when she's gone. 

I feel so stupid getting so upset I always knew she would leave but I just am so sad and I needed to vent somewhere. Any advice anyone has I would appreciate. 

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I went through that when my son took his dog with him to college and then starting his married life and job in another city.  With the big exception, he was not on the east coast, and I could visit every month or so.  Eventually we lost him to death and I never got to say goodbye, he is buried in my back yard, next to Arlie and Kitty, whom he lived with, with me.

Skye and I had a very real relationship, as you have had with your roommate's dog.  I walked him, loved him, fed and cared for him as if he were my own.  I will never forget the last time I saw him alive.  Skye was crippled and tried getting up to greet me, he stumbled and fell down, hitting his chin on the grass.  I went out to him and laid down beside him on the lawn, and stroked his ears (which he loved) and kissed his sweet head and talked to him.  I will never forget that, he loved his grandma.

Animals live in the moment better than we do.  I don't think they attribute ulterior motives to us, just try to please us and enjoy what is, in the here and now.  I think this is likely harder on us than on them.  I hope and pray your roommate spends extra time with her in your absence.  

Have you considered getting one of your own, it wouldn't replace her but it might help you fill some of the void to have one of your own.  I had gotten Arlie in anticipation of Skye's impending departure as I knew the day would come when my son would take him with him.

When is the right time to get a new pet?
Why Does It Hurt So Much?
Relinquishment
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

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Thank you for the links, I have read your reply many times since posting and it's given me comfort.

They left a couple of hours ago, and I just can't stop crying. It kills me having her thing I gave her away or I left. When they went and I gave her one last hug I could feel her heart beating so quickly she was scared and she kept looking for me out the window as they drove away. I can't imagine ever loving another dog because no one will compare. I feel so guilty and sad, just so sad. I'm so sad. 

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I'm so sorry, I wish I could give you big hugs, the hardest thing in the world is saying "so long..."

Never say never.  I felt that way when I lost my Arlie, and while it's true that no dog will ever replace him or be like him, I have come to love Kodie very deeply!

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