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Loss of adult son


Lisa M.

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Danielle,  I am sending you endless hugs and prayers. Karen 

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Danielle Masata

No new updates, other than I spoke to my husband this morning.  He sounded breathless and wanted to tell me (slowly and rather painfully) all the information I already knew from the doctors yesterday.  I've now spent the morning trying to cancel all sorts of hotel reservations, and registrations (DMV) and each time get "invalid" recognition, which means I can't do anything online.  Instead, I have to wait, wait, wait on hold until I finally speak with someone.  In some cases (AirBNB), they will not refund our vacation stay at all, regardless of the reason ... apparently being stuck in a cardiatric ICU, with pending chemo, isn't enough for them.  Oh what a morning.  .....  Actually, after a very long time of waiting to speak with someone from DMV, the clerk was great and incredibly helpful.My husband will be pleased.   If only AirBNB was as helpful.  

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Mason’s Mom

Danielle,  soon after Mason passed away the state Medical Examiner called to give us the results of Mason's autopsy and to tell us to have our daughter's tested immediately. Mason's heart defect had no symptoms othef than sudden death. We were terrified and Medical testing isn't always very fast, thankfully both girls were cleared medically. If that wasn't bad enough a few weeks after they were cleared, my youngest daughter broke her wrist on her right side, before that week passed we had to take my husband to the ER in the middle of the night,  he was in a great deal of pain,  he had gallstones,  got him home and the next night my oldest daughter started experiencing pain and also had gallstones.  All three had been in the hospital in a weeks time. I really thought I was going to just give up, but Mason sent me a sign and I knew I had to be strong and stay here for my family. You will get through all this as well.  WE are here for you and will lift you in prayer for those Who believe. 

Carol

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Good evening all,

When it rains, it pours. Truer words do not exist, do they? I am praying for you Michelle,  all of you actually.  

I am a bit better today but yesterday covid had me flat out. The emotional roller coaster was worse then usual and I cried all day. Once the fever broke this morning,  I was calmer. My poor granddaughter was worried sick! It's awful the added pressure it puts on her, worrying about me. I spoke to a therapist today that has worked with us and felt more peaceful when done.  She lost her brother in a car accident and watched her mother go through this. It,  sadly, helps her understand. I'm very grateful to her and my family right now. My health isn't great and we talked about getting more tests done, the kids need me. I have a virtual appointment Friday with my pc.Can't go anywhere Or see anyone right now with quarantine.  Makes it lonely. 

I'm off to bed to rest again. Sending hugs. Karen

 

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Karen, Michelle, Danielle my heart aches for All of you! And yes when it rains it pours! We are all here for each other! Yep 

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The therapist told me about Survivors Guilt today. I admit to feeling guilty for being here...if only...

I looked it up and I sense it's part of our grief. Thoughts, my friends? Karen 

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Danielle Masata

It has been one year and one week, since my son has passed and I have more sad news.  My husband died today.  I am overwhelmed with grief.

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Mason’s Mom

Oh Danielle my heart aches for you. 

Karen,  covid is so difficult.  It swept through our home in late September and on Mason's Birthday I was at the hospital getting an infusion for Covid.  I cried most of the day,  I couldn't go to the cemetery and we were all sick.

Talking to a therapist was helpful for me as well. 

Sending thoughts and prayers for everyone. 

Carol

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Jacqueline3

My dearest Danielle,   I am so sorry...  I have no other words than to say, I am so damned sorry.... Honey, I am here for you... We are all here for you!  Is there someone who can stay with you for a little?   My thoughts and prayers are with you love...

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Danielle,

I am so very sorry to hear this extremely sad news, you and your family are in my thoughts.

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My dear Danielle,  that is such awful news - you must be totally shattered.   I’m so sorry for you and your boys - I hope that they can get to your side quickly.  
I know you will be reeling and my heart goes out to you .   Please lean on your friends all you can .  Love, Roz

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Michael Rodriguez

danielle , i am so very sorry .....honestly i wish i had other words to say .....more than i am really sorry! i can not imagine the pain and what is going thru your head today ....im sure that we all feel the same way and we all are here for you

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Michael Rodriguez

BTW we are having a mass for B´s 9 months tomorrow the 14th.....would you like if i ask Father Salinas to include your husband ......im just asking. do remember i am catholic

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I am so so sorry. My heart broke and my stomach flopped when I read your words. I am crying  for you. I can't fathom the pain you are in right now.  Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. We are here for you. 

Sorry,  Danielle.   I forgot your name on my message. 

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Danielle,  I am so very sorry to hear the news of your husband's passing. You are in my thoughts and prayers.  I wish I could take away the pain. Karen 

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Danielle I just read a previous post and I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s passing my gosh when it rains it pours my heart is breaking for you! How much can one person take with all this grief we are here for you and I’m sending you tons of hugs!

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Hello everyone, I hope everyone is okay as you can be.  I have just come home, my eldest child was in the ICU for 5 days in critical condition.   Her hemoglobin counts should have been 14, they were 4 and she has been having trouble eating.   She is home now but still very fragile.  She agreed to stay with us longer as she recovers, which could be some time.   I am feeling very old and very unable to cope.  I am still so broken and sad and missing Garrett... now I am also worried and afraid for Jolene too.

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Jacqueline,  I will say a prayer for your daughter.   You are also in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Danielle  thinking of you.   Hang in there. 

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Danielle, there are no words for the tsunami of grief crashing over you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. If you want to reach out to talk to someone, you can reach me at 9499399632 or write jeajflowers@gmail.com

 

And Jacqueline, I know how strong you are. I know you will take the best care of your beautiful daughter and see her through to health. You too, are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Michael Rodriguez

jaqueline3 ,i have no idea what to say. is she going to be alright? how old is she? we sure have been blasted with issues this last few days

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Jacqueline. Sending prayers for Jolene !  oh my gosh you have So much going on right now, I wish I could reach through this phone and give you a huge hug and talk to you in person and let you know that your pain is felt by all of us!  Shel

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Hi everyone!  This is my first time on this site and the first time that I can relate to other moms.  My daughter, Heidi, passed four years ago and I think of her every day.  I try no to keep going back to the guilt......should have done this, should have been there for her.  I try to pray and get closer to God since I had drifted away from religion for years......Just keep trying

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My name is Wanda. I lost my son,chris,tragically,Chris,, aug.7,2021. We were sitting on our back porch on Saturday morning around 600 am,having our coffee.. we had just got out there when a crazed neighbor was shooting people. He came after my son with an a.r.  I stood in front of him,but he still got him at close range. I don't know how to get past this. He left behind 2 beautiful children that he adored and was raising on his own. I pray I can figure out how to get through this and raise those children well.

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Hi Wanda.  My name is Mary and I lost my daughter, Heidi, on January 17, 2018.  It was also very sudden.  All I can say is to try to get through the first year.  All the "firsts" of everything........holidays, birthdays, spring.  That is a big milestone and you will get through it.  I am sure that you will raise his children as a loving grandmother.  They are lucky to have you and you are  blessed to have them.  I'm sure they give your life purpose and keep you very busy.

 

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Mary and Wanda, so sorry you had to lose a child.  We all support each other.  As you see from the comments we all struggle with how to live without a part of ourselves. Most of us post on Loss of an adult child as well. 

Mary, I lost my 21 year old son December 17th,  2017. We are both over 4 years into this traumatic life change. I struggle with faith as well,  I feel better now and I have been able to return to prayer. Some days I pray often.  I talk to Mason everyday as well, just helps me.

Wanda, I cannot imagine the trauma you experienced. We are here for you.

So many things happening in our group,  I think of each of you and hope we can all find peace and comfort. 

Michael, I see how caring you are and I want you to know B was blessed to have you as a Dad.

Carol

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Hello Mary and Wanda I am so sorry for your losses we are all here for each other I lost my son Blake at 30 years old suddenly on June 16, 2021 every day is a struggle and the first of everything are awful my faith is gone right now all I feel  now is anger I’m hoping that will change but it’s very hard but thank goodness I have these wonderful people here on this site and we are all here for each other! Sending prayers and hugs to both of you!  Shel

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Hello Mary and Wanda, I am so sorry for you and your precious children.  I feel the pain of losing Garrett every second of every day... Each of your stories breaks my heart and I ache for each of you suffering as I am suffering.   I lost my precious Garrett without warning on August 30 of 2021.   I miss him every day and I just want him to come home.   Now worrying about my eldest... I am barely hanging on at the moment, I keep thinking I cannot do this...

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Michael Rodriguez

thanks carol, i was the one that was blessed having a son like B , he was such a loving person ......about 8 of his friends showed up last nite and played sequence at home , it was fun but it tears me apart that B wasnt there. 

mary , wanda im sorry to hear about your losses .......wanda that must have been a nightmare !!! 

carol , i know you are one of the eldest suffering person in these groups , why dont we rename it , as a suggestion , "lost of an adult son or daughter¨ .....i feel the ones that reach out to the site are newbies,as i am;  and have lost a son but we do have girls also .....i dont know, maybe we could concentrate more on just one site.....

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Michael,  loss of an adult child is where I started and I as I saw new people posting on loss of adult son, I began to respond to both. I encourage everyone to go to loss of adult child.  Roz and I have been there for a few years and it was the help of others that were further along the path of grief that really helped me. 

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I am really struggling at the moment. I know everyone else is too.  I don't mean to be insensitive.  I am struggling to do this....I miss my son and my daughter is in bad shape... I cannot cope at the moment,  I need to be there but for my girl yet right now all I want to do is cry and scream.. 

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Jacqueline we’re here for you right now everything is in turmoil and the pain is so deep I’m listening to you I’m here for you I’m sending prayers and hugs I wish I could make things better today for you so you don’t have to be in so much pain!   If you need to scream scream we all feel that way there’s nothing at all wrong with how you’re feeling so much sadness and agony how much is one supposed to take! Shel

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Jacqueline - I am sending prayers and hugs to you, you are not alone. I am so incredibly sorry for this pain you are in. I believe this is the forum for you to scream, cry or ask why.  My pain is extremely fresh as my daughter just passed away 3 days ago.  I want you to know I that I will read anything you write here and you will always have someone to share your grief with. 

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Good Morning Everyone,

 

Its cold here in Ohio, we are getting a lot of snow.  Guess I am going to have to break down and shovel.  Hopefully that will get my mind off of things.  I think about all of you so often, I cannot believe the heartache we have and continue to endure.  I wish you all peace and hope of happiness someday.

Love to you

Cathy

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Dear Dee Dee, I am so sorry for your loss.   My son was almost six months ago yet it feels like yesterday and the pain seems so fresh and overwhelming.   Spending five days with my daughter in ICU and knowing she is still so very fragile.   I do not recognize anything around me at the moment and I know that is something that is familiar to all of you.

Thank you for listening and being here.'

Love and prayers to all of you,

Jackie

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Dee Dee I am so sorry for your loss we’re all here to listen if you need to scream or vent we do that here in this forum it’s perfectly OK we’re all feeling that horrific pain of losing a child! Shel

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Jackie, I wish I could offer some words of wisdom. I remember after Mason passed away and my daughter's had to have a complete cardio testing to make sure they didn't have the same fatal heart defect as Mason.  My youngest was so scared we couldn't keep her heart rate and blood pressure under control. My daughter's pregnancy was high risk and she had blood pressure issues.  Twice when she went in for a check up they kept her for racing pulse and erratic heart beats. Her labor was horrible and after 3 days she had a c-section.  I couldn't be with her during any of this because the hospital restrictions for Covid. After we lose a child we become hyper sensitive to the well being of our living children.  At least that has been my experience. It is so hard to be strong for our living children when we are falling apart ourselves. I don't know where the strength comes from and I remember people telling me that God won't give you more than you can handle and it made me angry because I truly thought I was I would have a complete breakdown but one minute at a time I kept going.  

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Michael Rodriguez

morning, we just had an experience with nikki my daughter and some terrible headaches , i was so scared that it could be the worst , but thank god is all minor stuff .....she will have to live with headaches but it is nothing life threatening.....so, carol, i know what you mean

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Welcome to all the new parents.  My son Donald passed away 8 months ago. I am struggling now with reliving every moment of those last months of his life.  It was this time last year that he started taking a turn for the worse.   I call it the beginning of the end.  When  People ask me how I'm doing I've been telling them one day at a time. The truth is it truly is one minute at a time. I find my emotions get set off with the least little thing. It is unbearable. I struggle too, with not smothering my  daughter. The last time I saw her was last year,For 3 days, When I took my son's ashes to her.  Prior to that it has been 2 and a 1/2 years- Since I saw her and my grandchildren .   She is coming in June with the kids and the new man in her life whom I love. She is one that struggles financially scrimping and saving every penny. I surprised her and bought the tickets for the plane ride. She was mad but I was ecstatic. I don't think she realizes how important it is for me to spend this time with her, And that I would do anything to get her here. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

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