Grieving my grandmother who's currently in hospice care.

[Chris L.]

I am a new member and I really don't know what to say. My grandmother is currently in home hospice and I'm petrified about the outcome. I know what's coming, but I just don't want to accept it. I tend to be of the "I'll think about it another day" type personality. Because of an illness, I have major anxiety problems. I don't handle things well. MY mind looks for something to panic about, and I've been panicking about my grandmother for at least three years now. Her illness was fast and was a surprise to all of us; she had her covid shots, and we thought we didn't have to worry about her. She's aspirating (has been for the last month) and it doesn't look good. I saw her today and I was so upset by seeing her in bad shape. She was like this a month ago, and she did bounce back, but it's hurt me deeply to see her like that. I haven't been able to think about anything else. I don't know why I'm posting this. I suppose I just needed to talk about it as I don't have anyone I can be honest about my grief. I don't want to burden them. Anyway, thank you for your reading and I'm sorry for any typos..

[reader]

Dear Chris,

How are you feeling? 

I'm sorry I did not reply back sooner.

Please know we are here and this is a safe place to express yourself.