Members Popular Post TAM1 Posted June 5, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 5, 2021 It seems as if, and it's true, that for the last four years since Len passed, every time I get to a point in this passage when things look better and more hopeful, that something occurs to set that hope aside. Every year 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 and now 2021. I had helped my son the last year when his wife left him and his two young boys to have her own life so I stepped in to help out. He was the stay-at-home dad and she the primary bread-winner and there he was with a 4 year old and a 3 year old with no support and overwhelmed. I have hurt myself financially during the last year and am beginning to repair and dig out of that, while continuing to help. This isn't about them though - it's family members talking amongst themselves about the mistake of helping out and leveling criticism by message, email and phone. I did not think my sister was a part of this but I realized today that she had joined in. It's painful to have had so many losses over a time and continue to step up and over all of it and do well. Once more, and I'll be 65 next month, I'm pulling myself up and thankful to be working for a very good firm. I'm thankful for a few very good friends who have come in without judgment, or "you should", "you need to" and unhelpful advice. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Diane R. E. Posted June 5, 2021 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 5, 2021 Hello Tam1; I'm so sorry for your losses and for your son's situation. I simply cannot understand your family members criticizing you for stepping up to help your son and grandchildren. Their situation is heartbreaking and personally, I admire you for helping out. I'm sure he is more than grateful to be able to lean on you for awhile. I pray he finds some long term solutions and that your life can look better and more hopeful moving forward. I'm just 8 months into this grief journey but your posting shows how one can continue to go forward even in the face of numerous setbacks. Sending virtual hugs and positive thoughts. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted June 6, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 Tam1, You can be very proud of how you stepped in to help your son through this difficult time. I think you need to follow your own heart and judgement as to helping adult children. You know the situation best. In addition to your son there are the 2 sweet grand children that need to feel secure and loved. A divorce is a very confusing and scary time for young children. I am glad you have friends that are supportive of your decisions. It is a shame your family members have felt the need to second guess and criticize your decisions. They have no crystal ball to see the future. We all just do the best we can under the circumstances that come our way. I would just be glad that you are able to help out your son and grandchildren. Hugs, Gail 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roxeanne Posted June 6, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 Tam1 sometimes i think people as you are so great facing bad times...you have the strenght to do the right thing for your son and the little ones! With the burden of the loss of your Len... we all know what does it means! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 6, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted June 6, 2021 17 hours ago, TAM1 said: I'm thankful for a few very good friends who have come in without judgment, or "you should", "you need to" and unhelpful advice. Absolutely! We need people's support, not judgment! I've found some of my on line friends to be my greatest encouragement and support, it's amazing. Teresa, we're here to listen any time and I, for one, applaud your efforts to help your son & grandsons out when they most needed you. Your son will never forget your being there when he most needed it. I would do the same. Now it's okay for you think of YOU and you will make it through this as you figure everything out and take care of yourself. I'm also thankful you have a good job!! One of the things I've learned is the ability to appreciate what we do have even while missing our other half and even while some things in our lives are a super hard challenge. I'm sorry your family is acting this way. Regardless of their opinions, they should not be judgmental about/to you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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