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My mom died yesterday


Annathehiker

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Annathehiker

I just lost my mom, and it was a total shock.  She was elderly, but I wasn't expecting her to die, and one minute she was talking to me, then she laid down on her bed and simply died.  There's so much I would have said, so many things I'd have done differently if I had known.  I was just being my normal, busy self, and I was urging her to drink some water and I wasn't being very patient.  I was being nice, but not patient and tender the way I'd have been if I had known she was going to die five minutes later.  The whole past week, I've been really busy and also tired, and I wish so badly I had known it was my last week with her.  It was just life as usual, and I was taking my time with her for granted.  I thought I had another year with her.  I can't believe she's gone, and I miss her so much!!!  I just want her back, there are more things I want to say.   I love you, Mom

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Dear Anna,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't be hard on yourself. It's clear how much you loved your mom and did your best for her. We are all only human and none us can know what is going to happen and when and how. I wish we could because I too long to go back and do things differently. It's very hard.

Please know we are with you and you are not alone. 

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DaedalanEcho

Anna,

I'm sorry for your loss.  Try not to focus too much on feeling that you weren't patient enough with her.  When my mom began to complain about her shoulder pain that ended up being a resurgence of her cancer, I parroted her doctor's and dismissed it as just a muscle pull.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and I'm sure she knows you were doing your best.

I understand the feeling of taking the time for granted.  I remember being younger and my mom jokingly saying that I'd miss her when she was gone.  I had no idea how true those words would be and how much I miss being able to call her or visit.  Try and take care of yourself.

-Vance

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Annathehiker

Thank you so much to the people who replied, your words were comforting.  I hope you're both doing well.  This is really tough.

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