loss of dad Any advice please on losing father, stepfather and boyfriend

[awol]

Hi, I am struggling with the loss of three men in my life in eighteen months. First, my stepfather passed away in April 2019. He was 89 and had been very weak for a long time. His passing wasn’t unexpected and my family and his came together to say goodbye in a very loving way. Nine months later in January 2020, my father passed away. Although he’d been ill with several cancers and other complications, we had no idea that he was near the end of his life. His passing was a shock. And because my family is very unemotional, no one has really said very much about his death or life after the first few weeks. When he died, all my grief at losing him when my parents split up when I was seven years old came to the surface. I was grieving a lifetime of missing him and wanting him around. Then nine months later, in October 2020, my boyfriend broke up with me in a completely unexpected way. He brought a lot of joy into my life in the year that we were together and just being around helped me to get through my dad’s death. The break up was like another death ... he disappeared into silence after a holiday and never gave me a true explanation of what happened. I have been reeling for months after all of this, feeling unable to pick myself up and get on with my life. I would appreciate hearing anyone’s wisdom or guidance on how I can get back on track and feel that I can cope with my life. Thank you. 

[reader]

Dear awol,

I am sorry for your losses. It's a lot for one person to go through and in such a short period of time. It is natural to feel raw. Please don't be hard on yourself about going forward. I think it takes time to process our thoughts and feelings. There is no fixed timeline for grief.  

Be kind to yourself. Keep taking it day by day. I hope you can seek out additional supports. I know different things work for different people. I tried everything from grief counselling, grief support group, online support groups, arts and crafts, writing and reading. It is important to surround yourself with people who will listen and validate your feelings.

I hope these websites can offer you additional support.

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Grief Share

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Recovery Method.

Thinking of you.

[awol]

Dear reader,

Thank you for taking the time to reply and to post those resources. It is so helpful to hear you say that there is no timeline for grief ... I think I expect my feelings to be linear and to get easier ... I guess it’s just not like that. Reading other people’s posts on here helps too. I’ve checked out some of the sites and there is a lot of wonderful support there. Thanks again.