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Anticipatory grief


Itzel

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I wish I had someone to talk to, without judging me for already starting my grief even though my parent is still alive. 

I dont have many friends, or should I say I dont have none, I just have one partner and he doesn't like when I talk to him about that because I am too intense and might be draining him emotionally. I want to know when will this pain end?, how can I make it stop? It wont let me sleep nor either feel; I have no energy to do much but my work, I get bored easily, I get distracted easily, I am lost, and I don't like this, especially because I feel like it's stopping me to spend more time and be happy with my parent while I can.

We're only 4 in our family, 2 live with me, one of my parents is the one I know i'tll pass away, the other one isn't supportive and I'm scared; the other family member doesn't live here. The rest of my relatives live in an other country, I'm scared not only of losing my parent, but of my future, I will lose my only friend, my only supporter, and I'll be with someone who I dont have the assurance will let me go reach my dreams.

 

Is there any hope?

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Dear @Itzel, I cannot say I understand "anticipatory" grief, as that is not my situation; my Father, who died on May, 2, 2018, was larger than life and because of this seemed as though he would live forever. When he did die, I was blindsided with this beast called Grief. But to say you fear what will happen to you if your parent dies; I think that is normal. Have you tried talking to a counselor? Your parent? @TLN.

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@TLN I dont want to show out my feelings of grief to that parent, since I don't want them to think I don't have any hope's for them... I do need counseling but pandemic shut down my health insurance for a while, till there's more "spaces" for students...

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AliceOliver2017

I don't know if your situation is like mine but as both my parents declined in a nursing facility. I grieved their decline, know what it was leading them too. My mom's decline during pandemic really crushed me. I was helpless to help her except calls and at some points masked visits mostly outside. That felt like grief. Her mental decline and physical decline was so sad, and I assumed at her age she wouldn't bounce back when pandemic eased up, little did i know she wouldn't survive pandemic. Even when she had her deadly GI tear i mourned during those weeks as she no longer could understand me and vice versa. I think mourning goes beyond death. I mourned her healthy self.

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