Not knowing who killed my aunt is killing me

[Wanderer00]

Today would have been my aunt's 37th birthday, if someone hadn't taken her away in 2013. I don't know who did it, the police don't know who did it, and it hurts so much to know that she had such a life ahead of her and that someone just took it away. Every year I think, "this year will be easier," but I'm always wrong.

I don't know how to move on without getting closure. Even just hearing her name can make me tear up, and sometimes I get so choked up over trivial things like her favorite food or smelling her perfume on the subway. I'm fine for the most part, I can usually talk about her freely and discuss what happened, but then I have my moments when her death feels just as fresh as when I was 13 years old. 

How can I ever move on without knowing what happened?

[reader]

Dear Wanderer00,

I'm sorry for your pain and sorrow. It sounds like you are having complicated grief over the circumstances of your aunt's passing. 

I would try and seek out additional supports through grief counselling or a grief support group.

I hope this site can help you. Grief in Common. The owner of the site is offering Zoom sessions right now because of Covid.

Thinking of you.