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Where is God and so many unanswered questions?

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On 14 February 2021 my Mother passed away due to Covid-19 and I was left broken. We were burying my uncle on that same day and also still grieving the loss of my cousin. Its too much, I feel lost spiritually and just numb. Over the weekend we learned that my aunt( mom's older sister) was released from the hospital after suffering a stroke, and the doctors gave her less than a month to life. I'm asking myself if maybe we did something wrong? Are we being punished? 

Since the beginning of 2021 my family has buried 5 family members in total in the space of 3 months. Where is God? Is this his plan, all this pain and suffering? When will it end? A lot of people that the Lord is still with my family and that He will provide comfort. It sure don't feel like it, cause there are days where I find it hard to breathe, were I am scared to answer the phone cause I'm terrified that it will from someone informing me of another death in the family. I'm losing my faith and I don't know how to hold on to it. Heck I can't even pray, I don't even have the strength to pray. I'm soo lost and hurt. Where is He? Where is the Father in my time of need? Are my tears and screams of pain not loud enough? Why are my prayers falling on deaf ears?

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