Something that's funny

[Pennywyze43]

I have learned how to find humor, when most can't. That's why I usually don't share whatever it is that I'm thinking about, which has caused me to laugh. However, I'm gonna share this with y'all.

When I first got with Jeremy me were talking about the kinds of food we do and don't eat. I asked him if he liked chicken and dumplin's...no...purple hull peas with okra ham and cornbread...no... Well, I will be darned. He didn't like any of the foods I eat. There were only two of us, and I couldn't eat it fast enough that it didn't go to waste and I certainly don't know how to shrink the portions for a party of one, so I just didn't get the ingredients to make them. One day, I told him that I could just see it, we'd be together long enough for me to forget how those things taste. And when I have my first bowl of one of them (because you leave me 20 years from now for some young floosey), and when I do I'mma cuss you from the first bite to the last.

March 2020, I had my first bowl of purple hull peas and ham with okra and cornbread, and Jeremy was cussed out through 2 humongous bowls. Crazy the stuff we remember when they're gone. Sometimes, I would give anything to have J back.

 

.

[Pennywyze43]

I've been crying all day. Not on Jeremy's D. O. D., but on the day my ex, Wayne passed away, one year ago today.I feel bad because I just realized it's the 13th. It's going to be a long day. 

[Gail 8588]

It is good to see humor in life.  Jeremy is chuckling with you, glad that you finally got your peas, ham, okra and cornbread - and that he didn't have to eat them. : )

 Over the years, losses mount up.  I  also have revisited old grief  more since my husband died. My mother's death in particular, but also a good friend who died 20 years ago. 

Hugs

Gail

 

[foreverhis]

I think for those of us a few years along on our grief journey, it's a good thing when we find something funny and when we can laugh at the good, weird, or silly memories.

For the first year at least, I found almost nothing funny.  I laughed once about 5 months after John died and that was because a dear family friend (and the only person in my age group who had also lost her husband, about 2 years earlier) was relating a story about her and John.  They were really close and shared a friendship bond that truly mattered.  It was just family that Thanksgiving because my sister-by-choice knew I wouldn't be able to handle the usual free-for-all of two dozen people in and out, and she wanted me there more than she wanted the typical weekend.  I couldn't help but laugh at the memory.  Our friend looked at me, kind of proud in a way, and said, "I made you laugh?  I did." because she knew from her experience that any sort of happiness and humor were non-existent for a long time.

I'll tell you a funny food story too.  John and I were in sync with most of our likes and dislikes.  Our grandmothers had been great cooks; our mothers...not.  I had learned to cook and bake, so as the years went along we added new things that maybe only one of us had liked at first or that were completely new to both of us.  But I could not get him to eat asparagus under any circumstances.  His mother had bought canned and then boiled it into oblivion, so that's what he remembered.  Ultimately, I gave up because there was such a wide variety of foods that I, he, and we enjoyed.

One year on a spring trip to Hawai'i, we were having dinner at a lovely little restaurant on the water.  Grilled fresh fish, fantastic potatoes, and a medley of sauteed fresh chopped/sliced veggies.  The veggies were fantastic, cooked just right with olive oil and simple seasoning.  There he was, munching away and commenting how delicious they were.  Then he held up his fork with a small, round piece on it and said, "This is great, but I don't recognize it."  I burst out laughing and he asked, "What?"  I said, "Honey, that's asparagus!"  He nonchalantly popped it in his mouth, chewed and swallowed, and then said, "Well, I guess we'd better buy some when we get home."

I couldn't bring myself to eat asparagus for nearly the first 2 years.  The day I braved it and brought some home from the market, I said to him, "Well, I guess I'm making progress."  Then I cooked it up and enjoyed it while little tears fell.

It takes time, but I think most of us do manage to mix in everything from our lives together, not just the devastating end and the excruciating pain that comes with it.

[widower2]

lol, great story fh. As hard (and early on perhaps impossible) as it is to find humor and laughter about our lost ones, I also think it's important. I think we all know they would want us to remember them that way, and not with tears and crying and anguish. Easier said than done obviously, but worth the attempt, and I think gradually easier over time.  

Speaking of good: my beloved had her quirks as I did, things we liked or didn't or other things about us that most people would give a "? OK, whatever" kind of look or thought  One of hers was that she is the only person I knew who actually liked sardines. She told me that and I thought omg what is wrong with you. She swore they had an undeserved reputation and I'd like them if I tried them. Yeah, right. I never did. But after she passed, on her birthday, I decided as a kind of tribute to her, I'd eat some sardines, expecting of course to hate it. And I didn't. In fact I liked them. I think she would have got a kick out of that (along with a little "told you so" tacked on). So every year on her birthday, part of my dinner is a can of sardines. It's a tradition now, I only have them on her birthday. They do taste good, I swear! And I can't believe I'm typing that, but it's true.

[KayC]

foreverhis, thank you for sharing that story, I love it!  I have a funny one about food too...

When I met George and got to know him, I found he loved to eat, anything/everything!  He'd been hungry growing up so really appreciated any and all food.

After we were married for a time, I found out he'd always hated onions,, but "practiced" eating them for a year before we married!  I couldn't believe it!  He was always so thoughtful and considerate but I'd never heard of anyone doing that!  I couldn't help but burst out, "But George!  You needn't have done that!  I know how to cook without onions, I was extremely allergic to even a trace for 15 years!"  We both had a good laugh.  But he continued eating them.

And Widower, I love sardines too but haven't been able to eat fish for 37 years...severe allergy.  The irony!  I do find that what they're canned in makes a difference.  I loved them on whole grain crackers (which I can't eat because of my diabetes now) with a strong cheese spread.  Yummy!  I used to have them for lunch!

[foreverhis]

17 hours ago, widower2 said:

One of hers was that she is the only person I knew who actually liked sardines. She told me that and I thought omg what is wrong with you. She swore they had an undeserved reputation and I'd like them if I tried them. Yeah, right. I never did. But after she passed, on her birthday, I decided as a kind of tribute to her, I'd eat some sardines, expecting of course to hate it. And I didn't. In fact I liked them. I think she would have got a kick out of that (along with a little "told you so" tacked on). So every year on her birthday, part of my dinner is a can of sardines. It's a tradition now, I only have them on her birthday. They do taste good, I swear! And I can't believe I'm typing that, but it's true.

I love this!  Our daughter and granddaughter both absolutely love sardines.  They are the only people I know who do.  John and I were, "Yeah sure, if they're small and part of a Caesar salad.  Otherwise, blech!"  

John and I hate, loathe, despise Brussel sprouts.  We tried them a few different ways, but nope.  Yuck.  We started a family rule after the third time a friend or family member said, "Oh, but you'd love them the way I make them."  In our house, after someone has tried something, if they don't like it, we say, "No problem. More for me."

I'm pretty sure that your love was snickering the first time you tried sardines and liked them.  No doubt she's saying, "I told you so!" every year.  What a wonderful tribute to her.

[foreverhis]

6 hours ago, KayC said:

After we were married for a time, I found out he'd always hated onions,, but "practiced" eating them for a year before we married!  I couldn't believe it!  He was always so thoughtful and considerate but I'd never heard of anyone doing that!

Now that's love!  Sure, the big things matter, but the sweet, unexpected things do too.  John was sensitive to onions with his digestion, but was good with either sweet Maui or Vidalia onions as long as they were cooked.  We make accommodations because that kind of compromise, if you will, matters.

John couldn't have alcohol at all because his system reacted to the enzymes in it the same way gluten affects Celiac patients.  Even "cooked out," the enzymes remain.  So I learned to use natural flavorings that weren't extracts and I figured out how to dilute real balsamic vinegar to give a taste similar to wine in things like stews.  He was fine with others enjoying wine or a cocktail and was a happy DD if we had an event where alcohol would be served.  He said what really irked him was that he got diagnosed in his early 30s, right around the time he was making enough money to buy good quality wine, beer, and bourbon.  But it wasn't worth it to him to be sick for 3 days just to have a drink.

Isn't it wonderful that we can talk about these things and smile?

[widower2]

11 hours ago, KayC said:

foreverhis, thank you for sharing that story, I love it!  I have a funny one about food too...

When I met George and got to know him, I found he loved to eat, anything/everything!  He'd been hungry growing up so really appreciated any and all food.

After we were married for a time, I found out he'd always hated onions,, but "practiced" eating them for a year before we married!  I couldn't believe it!  He was always so thoughtful and considerate but I'd never heard of anyone doing that!  I couldn't help but burst out, "But George!  You needn't have done that!  I know how to cook without onions, I was extremely allergic to even a trace for 15 years!"  We both had a good laugh.  But he continued eating them.

And Widower, I love sardines too but haven't been able to eat fish for 37 years...severe allergy.  The irony!  I do find that what they're canned in makes a difference.  I loved them on whole grain crackers (which I can't eat because of my diabetes now) with a strong cheese spread.  Yummy!  I used to have them for lunch!

Too funny Kay! I admit I wouldn't have gone that far - I hold my ground when it comes to what I will or won't eat, although really I like almost all food now. Bummer about the sardines. Yes I was "instructed" about the importance of how they're canned.  She insisted on getting the ones in mustard sauce, which I thought made them sound even grosser, lol. But it works.

 

  

4 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I love this!  Our daughter and granddaughter both absolutely love sardines.  They are the only people I know who do.  John and I were, "Yeah sure, if they're small and part of a Caesar salad.  Otherwise, blech!"  

John and I hate, loathe, despise Brussel sprouts.  We tried them a few different ways, but nope.  Yuck.  We started a family rule after the third time a friend or family member said, "Oh, but you'd love them the way I make them."  In our house, after someone has tried something, if they don't like it, we say, "No problem. More for me."

I'm pretty sure that your love was snickering the first time you tried sardines and liked them.  No doubt she's saying, "I told you so!" every year.  What a wonderful tribute to her.

Thanks, and I had to laugh at the brussels sprouts story. This is something I always hated - anything I can't even stand the smell of I'm not going to eat - and a few years back got a lunch which I didn't realize had them mixed in. Hard to explain but it would have been a pain to try and dig them all out (sort of a casserole thing), so I said well I'll just eat them quickly and down it with a drink (like kids do with something they're forced to eat). And I liked them. Couldn't believe it. But I have found which ones you get and how they're done really does make a diff...I got the cheap plain ones at the store a few times and they're terrible. But others I've got that were better quality and seasoned are usually good. Also I heard the newer ones are grown differently, so they aren't like the nasty ones I grew up with. You should give them another try   

[KayC]

I love brussell sprouts but my kids didn't, I even called them "cabbage patches" (they were big back then) but that didn't work.  Neither did smothering them in cream sauce, etc.  My son finally learned to like them for his wife!  She roasts them.  My daughter eats them too now.  I love cooking them with sausage.

[foreverhis]

On 4/14/2021 at 6:06 PM, widower2 said:

She insisted on getting the ones in mustard sauce, which I thought made them sound even grosser, lol. But it works.

Yes, that makes them sound even ickier.  OTOH, I've learned that unexpected combinations sometimes do yield a delicious surprise.  Still...Nope, I'm not going to try them and our daughter knows better than to try to convince me that whatever she does with them is too good to resist.  She would just shrug and say, "More for me."

 

On 4/14/2021 at 6:06 PM, widower2 said:

Also I heard the newer ones are grown differently, so they aren't like the nasty ones I grew up with. You should give them another try

Unfortunately, not even small, on the stalk, fresh ones from the farmers market work for me.  There's just something about them that I don't like.  What I thought was weird was that John and I love cabbage.  Same plant family and similar type of growth.  People would even say, "Oh, they're just small cabbages."  No, they are not.  But I get why you went ahead and ate them.  How lovely that you discovered a taste for them. 

I can't for the life of me remember what it was, but I had something similar happen.  We were at some dinner party and were served a dish with whatever it was mixed in.  It was too much trouble to pick them out and I didn't want to act like a picky eater child.  Fortunately, there was a sauce and plenty of seasoning, so it wasn't too horrid.  But I still didn't like them.

I do agree that tasting things again over time is a good idea.  The things I hated as a child aren't necessarily the things I hate now.  Our tastes mature and our palates change.  I used to loathe summer squash, but John loved it.  Over the years, I made it different ways for him.  When I was in my 30s, I decided to give it a go again.  I made a creamy squash soup (using potato instead of heavy cream) and garnished it with fast sauteed bits of squash, potato, and carrots and topped with a small swirl of cream.  It was delicious (if I do say so myself).  I expanded from there so that we ended up growing it in our summer pots every year--not too many plants as it does tend to take over!  My favorites are the patty pan and flying saucers.  There's a spiciness to them that I find really appealing.  The trick, of course, is to either make a soup or cook them quickly over high heat to seal the edges and keep the flesh nice.  I do not like any vegetable if it's been overcooked.

14 hours ago, KayC said:

I love brussell sprouts but my kids didn't, I even called them "cabbage patches" (they were big back then) but that didn't work.  Neither did smothering them in cream sauce, etc.  My son finally learned to like them for his wife!  She roasts them.  My daughter eats them too now.  I love cooking them with sausage.

Yep, that's how people described them.  My baby sister even owned a Cabbage Patch kid. 

And there again is how our tastes change over time. Funny how so many of us learn to like something because our partner does.  Most people say that roasting them is best.  I can see that because roasting so often brings out the best in a vegetable.  We didn't use to like cauliflower until I found a recipe in one of my Indian cookbooks that called for roasted florets.  I went ahead and bought some at the market and tried roasting it.  It was wonderful, all nutty and toasty.  From then on, we'd have it from time to time in season.

[foreverhis]

On 4/13/2021 at 8:17 AM, CleverPennywyze said:

I have learned how to find humor, when most can't. That's why I usually don't share whatever it is that I'm thinking about, which has caused me to laugh. However, I'm gonna share this with y'all.

I'm really glad you posted this because, as you can see, many of us agree--especially, apparently, when it comes to food.

On 4/13/2021 at 8:23 AM, CleverPennywyze said:

I've been crying all day. Not on Jeremy's D. O. D., but on the day my ex, Wayne passed away, one year ago today.I feel bad because I just realized it's the 13th. It's going to be a long day. 

I wanted to say that I'm so sorry you have multiple losses piled up like that.  Sometimes people don't understand why losing an ex hurts too, but it sure can.

I think the people who don't "get it" feel like, "But he/she was an ex.  How can that hurt you so much?"  Well, of course it does.  We can mourn the loss of what we had with someone we loved even if we're not with them and even if we no longer love them or no longer love them that way.

 

[Gail 8588]

I wasn't going to add this comment, but this thread has gotten so far into food, I am going to throw it out there. 

John and I liked and disliked the same foods pretty consistently and I often remarked that it was fate that we found each other because neither of us ever drank coffee and both of us like anchovies!!!  How uncommon is that combination!

Gail

 

[widower2]

8 hours ago, foreverhis said:

Yes, that makes them sound even ickier.  OTOH, I've learned that unexpected combinations sometimes do yield a delicious surprise.  Still...Nope, I'm not going to try them and our daughter knows better than to try to convince me that whatever she does with them is too good to resist.  She would just shrug and say, "More for me."

[parent trope] How do you know unless you try them [/parent trope]  Honest, the diff between good and bad is night and day. The bad ones have this weird off taste to them, like it's not even a food. I get not wanting those. 

 

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Unfortunately, not even small, on the stalk, fresh ones from the farmers market work for me.  There's just something about them that I don't like.  What I thought was weird was that John and I love cabbage. 

And there's one of the very few (only?) foods I hate, cabbage! Good Lord if you can handle cabbage, surely you can handle (good) brussels sprouts.

Quote

I do agree that tasting things again over time is a good idea.  The things I hated as a child aren't necessarily the things I hate now.  Our tastes mature and our palates change.  I used to loathe summer squash, but John loved it.  Over the years, I made it different ways for him.  When I was in my 30s, I decided to give it a go again.  I made a creamy squash soup (using potato instead of heavy cream) and garnished it with fast sauteed bits of squash, potato, and carrots and topped with a small swirl of cream.  It was delicious (if I do say so myself).  

Oh that does sound good. I'm glad I'm not reading this in the middle of the day.

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And there again is how our tastes change over time. Funny how so many of us learn to like something because our partner does.  Most people say that roasting them is best. 

Yes, I've heard that, though I've never roasted them myself (lazy). And yes she did introduce me to things I wouldn't have otherwise bothered with. I mean cmon. Sardines. Seriously?
 

5 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

I wasn't going to add this comment, but this thread has gotten so far into food, I am going to throw it out there. 

John and I liked and disliked the same foods pretty consistently and I often remarked that it was fate that we found each other because neither of us ever drank coffee and both of us like anchovies!!!  How uncommon is that combination!

Sickos    That is funny! To be honest I've never tried anchovies...like sardines, it's one of those things with such a horrible rep I didn't dare. Maybe one day... 

(PS I don't care for coffee much either; I just learned to tolerate it for the caffeine) 

[KayC]

Just don't give me hominy and okra!  As you can tell, I didn't grow up in the south!

[foreverhis]

18 hours ago, widower2 said:

[parent trope] How do you know unless you try them [/parent trope]  Honest, the diff between good and bad is night and day. The bad ones have this weird off taste to them, like it's not even a food. I get not wanting those. 

 

And there's one of the very few (only?) foods I hate, cabbage! Good Lord if you can handle cabbage, surely you can handle (good) brussels sprouts.

Oh that does sound good. I'm glad I'm not reading this in the middle of the day.

Yes, I've heard that, though I've never roasted them myself (lazy). And yes she did introduce me to things I wouldn't have otherwise bothered with. I mean cmon. Sardines. Seriously?
 

 

Yeah, I know.  Sometimes I just decide, "Nah, you love a wide variety of foods.  You're fine."  Now I'm thinking that once again, I actually do this more often than I care to admit, I'm mixing up sardines and anchovies.  It's usually anchovies in Caesar salad/dressing and I do like them that way.  I know many recipes substitute sardines for the anchovies, so...yeah, confusing for me for sure.  We did try sardines more than once, including fresh because we live on the coast near a fishing community and sardines are one of the seasonal catches, though very restricted now due to over-fishing. I love most fish and shellfish, but certain things just don't do it for me.  And as we are lucky enough to have fresh, local catch of whatever is in season, there's always something to enjoy.  Winters it can be pretty lean pickings with the fishers moving further south and out for longer times or not able to go out at all, but then again, they sometimes bring in warmer water catch like ono (wahoo to us mainlanders) or opah for a treat.  Anyway, we're never bereft of fresh fish or gourmet canned albacore (filleted on the boats and sent direct to a tiny cannery that cooks them in the can with nothing at all added).  Good thing I already had lunch or I'd be raiding the fridge!

And I ask myself how you can like Brussel sprouts, but hate cabbage!  They are pretty different in smell, taste, and even texture, so I know it's just personal preference.

Yes, my summer squash soup is sooooo good.  It's hearty, but not heavy.  I like texture, which is why I saute extra veg on the side and let everyone add it to taste.  Ditto with pancetta and oyster crackers.  I'm all about people enjoying food the way they like it.

I have to laugh about roasting.  To me, roasting is the "lazy" way to cook veggies or really, just about anything.  Prep, toss in a bowl with oil and seasonings (or skip it and lay them right on the roasting pan, add the oil and seasonings and toss them that way), and throw into the oven.  Turn and toss again halfway through roasting.  Remove from the oven and eat.

 

@CleverPennywyze  We really owe you a debt of thanks here!  I hope you realize that you have made several of us laugh and smile and tell stories, all because you were brave enough to post about your own.  Seriously, thank you.

I hope this makes you feel a tiny bit better during what I know is a very painful, difficult time. ((HUGS))

[widower2]

On 4/16/2021 at 6:23 PM, foreverhis said:

And I ask myself how you can like Brussel sprouts, but hate cabbage!  

Because the first is good, the second is disgusting.   (That said...I like cole slaw)

 

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I have to laugh about roasting.  To me, roasting is the "lazy" way to cook veggies or really, just about anything.  

You are such an amateur when it comes to laziness; maybe I can instruct you some time lol 

 

[Pennywyze43]

I'm so glad to know that I was able to make y'all smile and laugh and share stories.

[foreverhis]

15 hours ago, widower2 said:

Because the first is good, the second is disgusting.   (That said...I like cole slaw)

 

You are such an amateur when it comes to laziness; maybe I can instruct you some time lol 

 

  We all have our little ways, don't we?

[widower2]

Funny you said that; that was an expression of my beloved (how people have "their ways")  

[Pennywyze43]

When it comes to brussel sprouts and cabbage, I give them both a great big Y-U-C-K YUCK. I'm the kind of person who has issues with putting things in my mouth that stink when they're being cooked. I really don't think I have a type of "gross" food that Jeremy and I shared.

[widower2]

I hear you - it's largely in how they're cooked, honest!

 

[KayC]

I've learned a lot about health & cooking, basically had to start from scratch as I sought to get my diabetes under control.  Doctors were no help as they prescribe pills which become less and less effective and rendered me worse and worse as the years go by.  Who'd have thought you could make waffles with mozzarella that resemble regular waffles and hold you better!  I've learned to keep an open mind, my son and granddaughter have been amazed at my new cooking.  Some of the things that sounded strange turn out to be wonderful!  I'm glad I've kept an open mind about it.  Thanks Mom, for making me try a bite before saying I didn't like it! 

 

[Pennywyze43]

One of these days, I'll share my recipe for pork chops. I understand you have diabetes, and I don't know what all kinds of food you can eat, but I will post the recipe in my journal and you can either use it or not.

[widower2]

15 hours ago, KayC said:

I've learned a lot about health & cooking, basically had to start from scratch as I sought to get my diabetes under control. 

Me too - being pre-diabetic and oh btw having a heart attack will get yer attention - my diet wasn't that bad before, but it's amazing what you learn when you pay attention to the labels. Like I always thought of cheese as generally healthy (lots of calcium) but most cheese is extremely UNhealthy - tons of fat and salt. And sugar holy wow it's everywhere! 

 

15 hours ago, CleverPennywyze said:

One of these days, I'll share my recipe for pork chops. I understand you have diabetes, and I don't know what all kinds of food you can eat, but I will post the recipe in my journal and you can either use it or not.

Pork chops have little if any sugar.   I love grilling them - a fav of mine is marinating them in buffalo wing sauce.

[KayC]

It's the breading that gets you, I can't have flour except almond or coconut, but also use Parmesan with it and dip in egg/almond milk mixture.  Salt/pepper also good to bring out flavor!

[widower2]

Great it's almost 11 PM and I'm hungry. Thanks a lot Kay!

 

[foreverhis]

On 4/21/2021 at 10:04 AM, KayC said:

It's the breading that gets you, I can't have flour except almond or coconut, but also use Parmesan with it and dip in egg/almond milk mixture.  Salt/pepper also good to bring out flavor!

I am a big fan of lightly coating with Parmesan combined with non-wheat flours like potato, pecan meal (not a flour, but...yum), almond, or coconut.  You can get the same crispy, crunchy deliciousness as with a traditional breading, but it's so much better.  And I rarely "deep" fry anything, but sauteing in a slick of good oil like avocado makes it seem just as decadent, IMO.  BTW and as an FYI for anyone who might be interested, avocado oil is an excellent choice for things like this.  It's a good fat, has an extremely high smoke point, and has a viscosity that is different from most oils so that it doesn't absorb into food as readily.  Plus, it's neutral, but tasty.

Good thing I am sitting here eating a late breakfast or I would once again be tempted to raid the fridge!

[Pennywyze43]

@KayC I don't bread the chops in this recipe. As long as you don't have a problem with cheese and eating your veggies (including mushrooms) you should be fine. 

[Pennywyze43]

Alright, ladies and germs, today is the day that I share my pork chops recipe. 

You will need: 

Family pack of either breakfast or dinner chops

1 (each) red, yellow and green bell peppers

1 3.5 lb. bag of 3 blend shredded cheese

1 (small) package of mushrooms

1 container of diced onions 

 

Bake chops at 350° until 10 minutes before they're completely done 

Add peppers, mushrooms and onions

Smother with cheese

Place back in oven until the pork chops are well done

 

THAT'S IT

 

 

[widower2]

4 hours ago, CleverPennywyze said:

As long as you don't have a problem with cheese

Loaded with fat and salt. What's not to like?

[Pennywyze43]

I created this recipe in my early 20s. That night, I just barely got a small bite of someone else's pork chop, didn't get to make side dishes, and I vowed I'd never make them again. 

It took me 13 years to make them for Jeremy, BUT they were devoured like the first time. That made me feel good, and in the past year, I have made them 2 more times, and again I got rave reviews.

 

[KayC]

I did share it as it's all food I can eat!  And my health has never been better so I intend to eat this way the rest of my life!  I eat super low carb but can have anything else (that I'm not allergic to)!