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My dogs tragic death


Surfsmurf

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My 9 year old dog (Cody) went missing....... he had wandered off occasionally in the past down the river which borders our farm.   He liked to go down sniffing along the river bank and look for possums to chase.   Anyway to cut a long story short I found him 2 days later and he had been shot by a man a few properties up who had seen him and shot him from the other side of the river.  To say that this was devastating news to me is an absolute understatement.   It has ripped a hole in my heart.  

This happened on the Feb 1st this year.  The man who shot my boy has not been held accountable by police.  In fact the police have given me a formal warning as I got the guys phone number and rang and threatened to kill him.  

It has been a very long, hard couple of months.  I have never felt grief like this before.  My boy was the sweetest most gentlest boy, he wouldn't hurt a fly so to have him killed like this is just so unfair.    I have had him in my deep freeze since then but this week I am finally going to take him to be cremated.  It has taken me time to be able to face up to doing this.  I hope that when I get his ashes back that it will help with the healing.

I have a new puppy - he is full of energy and happiness.  Sometimes I find it hard to love him and I just want other dog back.  But I know in time I will love him deeply.

I am really unhappy now with where I am living (with the gun slinging neighbour) but my partner will not move so it is now causing problems between us and we will possibly end up separating.  I have had a really bad luck year with losing my job, then breaking my ankle and now this.......    it seems to much to bare.  My heart is so heavy.   I think about dying so that I can see Cody again.  I feel like he was my only friend in life.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I am so sorry!  This is horrible!  My last dog, Arlie, was my "soulmate in a dog" and my companion and best friend, a gentle giant.  He was goofy and fun and so smart!  And happy, always smiling, even when he got cancer and was hurting.  A (thank God, now FORMER) neighbor said if he ever came on his place, he'd shoot him!  I let him know in no uncertain terms that he'd better not as I'd make my life count (if you get my drift).  To me, it is SO WRONG that the laws treat our beloved furry family members as "property" and ones that depreciate, at that!  It is reprehensible that the police have not held this man accountable.  Who among us wouldn't threaten someone who killed one of our children!  Our dogs ARE our children, companions, everything!  IMO, better than people.  They were God's gift to us and is it any coincidence that DOG is GOD spelled backwards!  It's as if He reached down to us when he made them.  And your neighbor is proof that dogs are better.  Sorry, this just gets my blood boiling!

I have had years like that, this year being one of them, I have been through those times where everything hit and it all feels way too much.  I felt the same as you when my Arlie died.  My heart goes out to you as you take care of your dog's remains.  My Arlie is buried on my property, near my husband's ashes and other pets passed before him and 25 year old Kitty just a few months after him.  My family, all of them gone now.

I understand your feelings, it is hard to have incentive to go on when you have everything going wrong and so much loss.  Try to remember to breathe, and if you can, go for a walk (not sure if your ankle has healed yet?)  Remember to take ONE DAY AT A TIME, breaking it down to an hour or even a minute when you need to.  And try to find anything good in the day, no matter how small, these two things have transformed me and my life when my husband suddenly/unexpectedly died nearly 16 years ago.  I wrote this article at about ten years out, with loss of spouse in mind, but some of it can be applicable to other losses as well.  

I, too, got a puppy eventually and now he is my incentive to keep going.  Try not to compare your puppy to Cody and look for HIS good qualities.  The things that he doesn't possess like Cody did, well those are a tribute to Cody, at least that's how I look at it with my Arlie & Kodie.  

Here are my two very different dogs, Arlie was golden retriever and Husky, Kodie is a Klee Kai (miniature Husky), Arlie my (big) Little Boy, and Kodie now my little one.

Please accept my condolences.  Try not to make any decisions based on your current feelings, give yourself a timeline by which you'll make decisions about a move, be it a month or six, and then decide.  It's hard to have clarity in the thick fog of early grief.  Although I will say my grief continues still, but I have learned to carry it inside of me.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

  • Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
  • Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
  • Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
  • Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
  • Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
  • Try not to isolate too much.  
  • There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
  • Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
  • Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
  • In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
  • Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
  • Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
  • Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
  • Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
  • Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
  • Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
  • Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.

 


I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace...

Arlie running free XS.jpg

Kodie 112820 sm.jpg

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Thank you for your condolences and the rainbow bridge video, and the grief list.  I am trying hard to do all the good things. 

I am finally taking Cody's body to the pet cremation place today so he can be cremated.   It has taken me weeks to be able to get round to doing this because I just could not make the phone call.   I am really hoping I will start feeling a bit better once I get him back in his wee box etc.  

I am so disgusted in the justice system (or lack of).  I mean how can it be ok to shoot a dog on public land that is minding its own business - just because someone does not like dogs!  My other dog (Missy 13yrs) was also out on the river sniffing journey with Cody that day, but he did not shoot her.  Imagine if I had lost both my dogs!!  I would have killed the man myself with my bare hands.    I really hope the police can pin something on him, but according to the police its getting harder and harder to prosecute criminals.

Its very hard to accept losing a pet in this manner, it would be so much easier if he had just died a natural death.  But he didn't.   

 

 

 

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I just read your story. I am so sorry to read about this horrible tragedy and your loss of Cody. Only an evil person would do such a thing. I can imagine your shock, anger and devastation. Hang in there. 

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I really sympathize with you, I know very well how I would feel and the guy would be lucky to get off!  I know it does no good to spend our life behind bars for "justice" but I also know how hard it'd be to restrain myself...these are our babies!  I'm glad you ARE still there for your other dog!

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I'm so sorry to read this, I can't begin to understand what the person was thinking that did this. Completely evil, my heart goes out to you. Sending my thoughts and prayers that you can start to heal. 

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This is my last photo taken of Cody, we went down to the river with my other dog Missy and had a great time.  

It is so hard for me to even look at his photos.

A few days after this photo I went away for 3 days.  He sat out on the driveway waiting for me the whole time I was away and would not come in the house.  This was just how insanely loyal he was.    He loved me so much.  Just me,  No one else.  He was 9yrs old and had only just started letting other people pat him (he was a nervous type of dog).

Then one day later from getting back home he was gone.   I never had a chance to say goodbye.

I think about him sitting waiting for me now.....  wherever he is, I know he will just be sitting waiting for me.  I hope he is ok and he is not alone and sad.

Thank you all for you kind words and support.

 

 

 

 

Cody.jpg

Cody sleeping.jpg

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OMG, what a sweetie!  He is beautiful!  He'd be hard not to fall in love with!  Karma will strike the perpetrator, if not now, then eventually.  He think he got away with it, I don't believe that!  What a horrid person!

When I hear a news article about a fire or car accident hitting a family and their dog, I search to find out what happened to the dog!  Sometimes they leave us hanging and don't tell us.  I only want to know how the dog came out!  That is where my heart is.

Continuing prayer for you as you're dealing with this immense loss.

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Reading about him waiting for you breaks my heart. I know this is not for everyone, but I needed to contact a couple of animal communicators after Goldie passed. They have helped me with the messages and information they gave me. He will be OK on the other side, he is happy and whole, and will know you love him. It doesn't bring Goldie back, but it's  helped me. 

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He really was just SOOOOO sweet.  He used to hang out with my pet ducks, cat, sheep, cows, horses.........  he would never do anything to hurt them.   So its extra painful to hear the stupid excuse from the dog murderer that Cody was "harrassing stock".....   or in his next breath he said he was "harassing children".   I rang the man up and he told me to "calm down".   Anyway nothing is going to bring him back now.   Today I am going to pick up his ashes which I am feeling quite nervous about.     I'm not sure I am prepared to see him just in a wee box like that.  

I was thinking about contacting some sort of animal communicator.  I am a really sensitive person and at times I feel like Cody is right by my side.  At night sometimes my new puppy goes to the kitchen and barks at something in there - I tell him its just Cody visiting.    I like to ride my bike in the forest and that's where I feel him with me most, just running along beside my bike.

Once again thank you for all your kind words, thoughts and prayers, you are all so kind and you understand loss.  

PS - Goldie looks beatiful x

 

 

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If your new puppy barks at something, it's probably Cody. I love the thought of him running beside you, I'm sure he is. Their energy is with us. Yes Goldie was lovely, thanks. 

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I love that thought, that your puppy is sensitive to Cody.  Sometimes I wonder if my Kodie is sent to me by Arlie..he was conceived when Arlie died, born on my birthday.  Every animal I tried to adopt before that didn't work out (I got bit six times and sustained severe damage to my hands that I have to live with the rest of my life, resulting in severe pain and loss of strength), I had to have surgery but it didn't help.  Kodie was meant to be, just as Arlie was.

Your neighbor clearly was making up excuses for being trigger happy.  

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Kodie is a great name!  ;)

Its very cute that you both share the same birthday.

Picked up Codys ashes yesterday, it was hard, and then I woke up in the night going over it all in my head and ended up crying.  At times I blame myself, and come up with all these stupid what if scenarios.  I guess that is normal though.   And I'm now worried about more animals or even my partner dying.   Gee this has really messed me up.    

Cody use to give me one big solid hug every day.   He would jump up on me when I was sitting and put his front legs on either side of me and rest his head on my shoulder.    His hug was like food for my soul.   I haven't had a hug like that since and it is what I am craving.   A Cody hug. 

 

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I know all too well missing his hugs, I miss everything about mine, his goofiness, the games he'd make up to play, his never ending smile, my walking companion, my companion period!  He was so smart and the most considerate dog I've ever met.  He never wanted to wake me and if he had to go out and he couldn't wait, he'd wake me up quietly and gently, he did husky talk, had the most amazing communication skills, I miss that so much!  

My son found Kodie for me, when he sent me pictures/video, the name Kodie popped into my head.  Unbeknownst to me, the breeder had named him Kobie.  When my son stopped at Petsmart to get a tag and collar on his way here, he was trying to keep an eye out on a 3 1/2 year old, plus Kodie (4 1/2 lbs then), and juggle his purchases...when he typed in Kodie's name for the tag, he mis-typed it as Kodie!  Wow!  I kept the name.  Just another confirmation it was meant to be.  He's different from Arlie, I figure those things are gone with him, but he has different qualities he brings to me, he's always wherever I am, very adorable, spins around and around when he's excited, and squeals.  He also seems very intuitive to me, any pain I have.

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Aren't dogs just the best!  I cannot understand people who do not like dogs!   Let alone shoot them (grrrrr).   

I had a big bullmastiff that I adopted when he was about 2.5yrs old, his owners didn't really have the time for him.  He was covered in fleas when I picked him up, I swear he had about 10 thousand fleas on him.   He was a lovely big boy, very handsome.  When I had to put him to sleep when he was about 11 it upset me but I was somehow very accepting of it, that it was his time etc.   

Had a terrible day yesterday, I felt completely depressed all day,  feel quite a bit better today.   Its just hard seeing Cody in that box.   I have it next to my bed with the ashes of my other dog......   hopefully I do not end up with too much of a stack!   I would like to get my ashes mixed with their ashes when I die.   

That is a cool story re how your Kodie was named! 

 

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Mine are all buried in the yard except one whose body we donated to science, he had cancer, a big boy, 120 lbs Golden Retriever, the ground was froze hard (January) and no way to bury him but we thought it'd benefit others.  I still feel bad that he isn't buried here.  I don't have the ones from my younger life either as I had a different home then.  I want my ashes spread in the backyard where my husband and animals are.  The kids call it our family burial plot. ;)

 

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Just catching up on your story... it's such a painful process to go through... and worse, for no good reason. :( 

 

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Surfsmurf

Hey, I am still here...... but have been feeling worse than ever, I am in such a black black hole.........  

I need justice for Cody before I can move on or feel some sort of peace.

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I wonder, if in lieu of justice, you could file civil suit?

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It would be interesting to know if you could. I can't remember if you said you spoke to the police. 

I know it is not very satisfying but if you believe in karma... what goes around will eventually come around to that person. He has blood on his hands. 

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Hi

Yes I reported it to the police .....  I had to ring them about 5 times!  They came to my house and they just seemed generally disinterested from the start.   Here in NZ we are so short of police they are working around the clock chasing their tails.   We don't have anything like a civil suit here, it is only the police that can prosecute, if they see fit to do so.   The new government here has also become very relaxed when it comes to crime and the police are finding it harder and harder to prosecute.   Everyone thinks NZ is such a great place but it is going backwards very fast.   I have lost all faith in the police.   

I'm not sure about karma......  because then what did I do to receive such bad karma myself?   

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I am so sorry, I thought everyone had civil suits but shows my ignorance.  Everything bad that happens in our lives is not karma.  I try to be good to people yet have had bad things happen like burglary, lots of losses/grief, injuries, etc.  Life happens, I don't believe you caused your dog's death in any way, I don't think that's what she was saying, only hoping the other guy gets karma due him.  Sometimes we don't get justice in this world but I believe everyone will answer to their Maker.  Sometimes people think they've gotten away with things in this world when the police do nothing, I don't believe they have, they have an accounting coming, just my belief!

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I can't begin to imagine what people go through who have lost their loved one tragically and no one is ever held accountable.   Like all those murders on the crime shows.

How would someone ever cope with that?   

I can see how grief can really eat a person up.

 

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I think it's just as hard to go through what you've gone through.  I haven't lost a loved one to murder but I have lost my husband suddenly/unexpectedly and it hurt just as bad losing Arlie years later although it doesn't affect you in as many areas: lover, the one that did half the chores, brought in half the $, listened/talked with each other, etc. but after my George died, Arlie was my life!  To lose him hurt me through and through.  I am so sorry anyone goes through this.

I had a neighbor that threatened to kill him if he ever came on his property, although he never had been and he had no reason to make threats.  I told him to talk to those who let their dogs run loose all the time, not me, because I'm a responsible pet owner and always have been!  Then I added, and he could take it however he wanted, if he killed Arlie, I'd make my life count!  ;)  He was my child, companion, my world.

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Awww reading your message really touched my heart, I am so sorry that you had to lose you beloved husband and then your beautiful dog.  Our animals really help us through tough times, they are always there for us, wagging their tails and looking at us with so much hope.  

Its hard to move past these things.  I don't want to just "move on" and forget my beloved boy.

Thinking of you.

 

 

 

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Don't worry, you will never forget him.  The little things we do help...I bought him a memorial stone as he's buried next to Skye, my granddoggy, and Kitty, and I have Miss Mocha's stone nearby (never found her body)...we were a family once, it seems hard to believe they're gone now.

You will never forget.  I still talk to him, visit his grave, hold his coat, which is hanging on my chair.  His leash and collar are retired, hanging by the door.  I keep the sympathy cards I got for him.  I had them on display until this month.  I can't believe it'll be two years in just three months.:wub:

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Hi

I just wanted to say a big thank you for everyone's kind supportive words and prayers.

It was really helpful just to have someone who understands the pain of loss.

Am hopeing that you are also feeling better.  

My new pup is now 7 months old and he gives me massive hugs - I call them LIFE HUGS :D because they give me life.

Still miss my boy Cody EVERY DAY.

 

 

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I understand.  8/16 marks two years my Arlie has been gone, I will always miss him, his beautiful smile, his consideration, his amazing communication (Husky talk), his companionship, my walking partner, his wild eyes when he got excited, his extreme goofiness and desire to play.  Even when he was suffering with cancer, he had his beautiful smile, I will always always love my boy.

I've had Kodie over 1 1/2 years now, he's my constant companion, he's sweet and loving, he's not my Arlie, his traits are gone with him, but I can't imagine life without Kodie now, and am glad he came into my life.  I love him differently, yet just as much, it's kind of like having two kids, you love them both but sometimes for different qualities.

It seems to me we grieve as we love...

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