Loss of mother

[Linder5282]

I lost my mother in January 2021 to covid it was very fast she is in UK and i am in US and i could not be there for her. I have COPD and i am finding it every difficult to breath right now and have any energy to do anything

[Kelly H]

Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your mother. That must be very difficult for you being so far away. I lost my mother too in January this year. My dad is struggling to cope with the loss and I haven't had chance to grieve really. Too worried about him at the moment. I hope you are finding some ways to cope. 

[Burnout76]

I can relate to both of you, and I’m very sorry for your immense losses. My mom died in December of cancer. Because of COVID I had not seen her for a year. Her illness was ongoing but her death was very sudden. My father is traumatized by the event itself, which he was there for (gave her CPR, watched her slip away). He struggles with a personality disorder, or rather, the rest of us struggle with it while he remains blissfully naive to his affect on people. But this issue makes him unable to sit with the discomfort of his loss and unable to empathize with my sister and I. I’m overwhelmed trying to work, improve my living situation, grieve and find ways to help my father. I’d like to find him a therapist who specializes in spousal grief, but it’s been really time intensive and hasn’t yielded any clear options. 

[Monty]

I am sorry for all of your losses. COVID has made everything so much harder at a time when things are so difficult already.

KellyH & Burnout76, After the sudden loss of my Mum I organised some grief counselling for my Dad. It helped him immensely. He felt like he had someone to talk to but was not burdening us (not that he was ever a burden he just felt like he had to protect us) and she helped him with grounding techniques and his ability to focus on practising mindfulness. My Dad also found my Mum on the bathroom floor and tried to perform CPR but she was already gone. He was also traumatised and felt guilty for not  finding her sooner.

Remember to take time to care for yourself too. 

[AliceOliver2017]

I lost my mom in January as well. It's devastating. A sudden GI tear. She had an apt. in assisted living and so I didn't get to hug her since February 2020. I don't know when I will be able to stop feeling so terrible. My grief seeps into everything. We were trying to protect her from COVID but something else took her. I struggle knowing her final holiday was alone. I think of her constantly.