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Brother dying of Adenocarcinoma


Ann Flanders

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Ann Flanders

Hi

Any advice for husbands who give you trouble about visiting your dying brother.  First I flew up their for 6 days, back 10, and now I compromised and I am going back for 5 days.  If it was up to him I would not go back at all.  We have 2 teens.  They are difficult but everyone in this house expects me to wait on them hand and foot and I am sick and tired of it.  Everyone needs to grow up and take care of themselves instead of me having to do every single thing in this house.  My husband said we need you here to take care us.  What am I your slave.  What about my life not to mention doing the right thing.  Not to mention in all our married years we have never visited my family once.  We live near his dad.  Get this his dad told him I shouldn't go at all the first time.

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Dear Ann,

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. It is completely understandable that you want to be with him as much as possible during this difficult time.

You've done so much for your husband and kids. As women it's so easy for people to take us for granted and fail to see we too have needs. They should have more compassion and understanding for your feelings during this sad time.

It's time for your husband to step up and take charge of the household.  

I would just go and let them take care of themselves. You have to do what you think is right. You've done enough and now you have to be near your brother and rightfully so.

Thinking of you.

 

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