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Basically just drowning in anger


tsungaivesta

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tsungaivesta

First my gran and then six weeks later my dad. Like WTF? I feel as though the world owes me something, I feel entitled. To peoples time and energy. I feel as though they’re world also needs to stop bc mine has. I feel angry bc I need more compassion, more support, more love and I get that they are trying their best but I want more. I can’t empathize bc whose going empathize with me?

 

I’m trying to remain kind in my grief but it’s proving very difficult as I’ve already lashed out to quite a number of people and have had several mental break downs. It’s like, why doesn’t anyone want to help me, like put aside them and just help me? Isn’t that what love is all about? True love? From friends, partners and family? But yet I feel so alone and unsupported

Which makes me even more angry

 

Help.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

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Dear tsunggaivesta,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am so sorry for your losses.

Losing loved ones so close together is a lot for anyone to cope with. Feelings of anger are natural. Everything you wrote applied to me when I lost my dad. I too felt so hurt and sad that friends and family and even some colleagues failed to show enough compassion and care. I've always tried so hard to be unconditional with my time and my money with everyone around me. I thought that for some reason it would all be returned to me somehow.

Please know you're not alone and there is support. It's hard to find now with the pandemic but it is out there. I can't tell you how many times the words of a stranger was more comforting than anything I got from my own family.

These websites helped me a lot.

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Share

Grief Healing Blog

There are online support groups on Facebook MeetUp Groups, online support groups like this forum. 

I hope you find something that will make you feel more understood and supported during this sad and difficult time.

Thinking of you.

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tsungaivesta
Dear tsunggaivesta,
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am so sorry for your losses.
Losing loved ones so close together is a lot for anyone to cope with. Feelings of anger are natural. Everything you wrote applied to me when I lost my dad. I too felt so hurt and sad that friends and family and even some colleagues failed to show enough compassion and care. I've always tried so hard to be unconditional with my time and my money with everyone around me. I thought that for some reason it would all be returned to me somehow.
Please know you're not alone and there is support. It's hard to find now with the pandemic but it is out there. I can't tell you how many times the words of a stranger was more comforting than anything I got from my own family.
These websites helped me a lot.
What's Your Grief
Grief in Common
Grief Share
Grief Healing Blog
There are online support groups on Facebook MeetUp Groups, online support groups like this forum. 
I hope you find something that will make you feel more understood and supported during this sad and difficult time.
Thinking of you.

Thank you for this. It’s really comforting to know that I’m not alone and what I’m feeling is normal


Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com
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I too lost my mum due to cancer, and my uncle to a robbery gone wrong... I think the best healer is time and with time it all will calm down. As for your anger, it because you cannot control the situation that the anger is arising... That's natural, you need to understand that they have passed but they are not gone, in this complex web of life, we are all still existentially here and can feel each other and can heal with love. Remeber the times of the love that you shared, this is the only true remedy to your anger. 

See, see and see deeply how you guys were absent minded about time when you were together... For love is not time bound, and slowly, you will heal with that love and come back in the present moment and live a deeper, richer life because of it.

Death is just a way to discard the old- failing body and move ahead in the ladder of spiritual evolution. Their spirit is eternal, just like yours.

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Danielle1010

I feel for you. In the space of 18 months, I lost both parents, a sister, and a very close cousin, all to some form or other of cancer. And my job in the middle of it all. All I have left is seething anger toward my surviving sibling who has played the “WhAT ABOUT ME, ME, ME!,,” card since Mom passed. I was my dad’s Executor and had that to deal with for almost 15 months. Now it’s time to inter my parents’ ashes in another state, and my sib was in charge of the arrangements since they live there, planning the COVID safe family gathering, ordering the headstones, etc. So we’re 3 weeks out and TODAY Sib tells me they’ve too much on their plate and can’t plan the services. THREE WEEKS FROM NOW. No headstones ordered, no park pavilion rented, no emails sent to family informing them of the events. I am astounded, not to mention panicked. And I’m also certain I will be paying for all of this myself, is spite of the fact that we all received $20k+ each from the small estate. Rage is all I feel, but I’m making the desperate calls anyway. Sending you all the positivity I can muster...

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I want to ask how everyone Who posted here is doing these days, as it has been a year? Does it get better? Anyone still reading? Thanks a Lot!

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Valerie Lockhart

Dear Summersun,

The pain from the loss of a loved one does not get easier with time. I've found that time makes it easier to hide my emotions.  Grief often lasts longer than people in general realize. Yearly reminders of the lost loved one may renew the pangs. Special pictures, songs, or even smells can trigger the tears. I've learned that the Scriptures indicate that it is possible to be reunited with your dead loved one in the near future, not in an unknown heaven but right here on earth under peaceful, righteous conditions. And at that time humans will have the prospect of enjoying perfect health, and they will never have to die again. ‘But surely that is wishful thinking!’ some may say. I've found comfort in knowing that Jesus Christ boldly promised: “Just as the Father raises the dead up and makes them alive, so the Son also makes those alive whom he wants to. Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his [Jesus’] voice and come out.” (John 5:21, 28, 29) Yes, Jesus Christ promised that millions now dead will live again on this earth and have the prospect of remaining on it forever under peaceful, paradisaic conditions. (Luke 23:43; John 3:16; 17:3; compare Psalm 37:29 and Matthew 5:5.) Since Jesus made the promise, it is  safe to assume that he is willing to fulfill it. I hope that you too will find comfort in God's promise that will come true by means of his son, Jesus Christ.

 

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