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My mom is gone


Lost20210131

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my mom is not here anymore, the phone doesn’t ring everyday, god I miss talking to her everyday, I was with her for a few days at hospital and they wouldn’t let anyone else in but me, I’m grateful to have been with her but it was so hard doing it by myself, I had bought her a comfort cross, small, to hold in her hand and she never let go of it and it went with her, the hardest thing is she didn’t want a service and wanted cremated and told us never to bury her because she is chlosterphobic , so what do we do with her, maybe spread her ashes in a beautiful spot, and visit her there instead of a empty gravesite, what is the point of having a empty grave  with no one in it,,,, she sits on top of her dresser with the urn lid off , I woke up my brother in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep, all I could hear was my moms voice, I thought I was going crazy, I could not get any peace and this was just a day after her cremation, her voice rattled me and scared me and it came to me all of a sudden,,,, she can’t breathe,,, I called my brother in the middle of the night ,,, I said,, your going to think I’m crazy,,, but you need to take to cover off so she can breathe and he did, then I found peace and slept,,,, crazy ,, right,,, but I didn’t hear her after that,,, she was chlosterphobic and I can’t bury her because she did not want that ,,, I don’t know where to spread her ashes but I need to do it soon.  It has only been a couple of weeks and I feel like I have aged 20 years, I have half my life to live but feel like it’s over somehow, my heart has palpitations and pain and I’m trying my best but find it difficult with COVID on top of this, feel like I have no where to turn and I’m trying to focus on putting a garden in , I bought seeds and will put plants in the grown in may but that seems like a eternity away and can’t get here quick enough. I’m also planting burning bushes in her memory as they turn red in the fall and her birthday was in the fall, I love you mom, RIP❤️

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Pnutsdaughter

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and the pain you’re going through. I also know this pain and how truly paralyzing it is. I lost my mom this summer. She had a seizure one night and was taken straight to the hospital. We were not allowed to be with her for 30 days while she essentially was dying all alone. That part wrecks me the most. It wasn’t until she could not be helped any further that me my brother, sister and dad were allowed to essentially go and say goodbye. My brother and dad could not handle being in the room so my sister and I sat by her bedside as they took her off the vent. This was the most raw experience I’ve ever had and it still does not feel real that it actually all happened. Mommy was so sick and passed in 30 minutes. I can’t believe I’ll never see her again. We also cremated mom as she sits in an urn at my dads house. I don’t think he will ever spread her ashes as I think he feels that she is home now. It’s just all so sad. I feel so sad for everyone she too that has to go through this, especially in this pandemic. I hope that may gets here soon enough for you so you are able to plant in that garden. 

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Thank you for your support, I know what your going through, whatever you feel you have missed with your mom, make sure you say and do with your dad, make everyday count with him. I wish I spent more time thanking my mom for so many things and talking about things she loved and things she wanted to do. I feel like I could have done more when she was well but I was too busy, or so I thought, here for you my friend.

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Pnutsdaughter

It is so very true. A lot I wish I would have done as well. I’ve realized that I was not done learning from my mom at all. I’m definitely making sure to do this with my dad. Thanks for your response. Here for you as well. 

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May I ask what helped you the most getting through the past months? I try to do artwork and it seems to be peaceful and meditating for me but then I go through terrible times where I can’t stop crying and thinking about her, is there any advice you could give, thank you so much.

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Pnutsdaughter

You know it is such a roller coaster that I think we all just cling to what we can. Art sounds like an awesome outlet. I find that keeping myself busy really does help. I have a brother sister and a dad that I’m able to lean on, which is so crucial for me to be able to talk to them because they are going through the exact same thing. So I know that that has been tremendous for me. I only hope that you have the same kind of support. I find comfort and doing things that I know my mother would enjoy. I have acquired a lot of her items and I like to make crafty things out of them as well. I also am a runner and decided on the day of her funeral service back in July, that I would run 1 mile every single day in her honor for one year. I’ve been doing this for 210’days now. This has been such a huge help for me because every single day for at least 10 minutes I am doing something in honor of her. And I reflect while I’m running, sometimes I cry sometimes I laugh, but it has been very therapeutic to me. Sorry this has become so long winded haha but I do think the huge thing is talking to people who have gone through it. Just like we are doing. I had many people reach out when mom died this summer because they also have left a parent. It’s like you are all of the sudden part of this sad club, but you are not alone and that there are so many other people going through this same type of pain. Everyone grief is so different and you can’t keep trying to make sense of it but embrace it. That helps me tremendously. 

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I appreciate your feedback. I don’t have much left for family, just my brother who does not talk much at all and has always been that way. Thank you for your time.

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I feel like you do with the palpitations and heart pain. I lost my mum 6 weeks ago and I just can't get my head round it.  She's gone and that's final. 

Her lovely voice, her support and encouragement...are all gone. I was there at the end and felt utterly helpless. It's the worst feeling ever, just knowing the end is close and you can't do a damn thing. Covid took her life and snatched her from my life. It's heartbreaking. 

Take it one day at a time. That's what I'm doing, but I'm struggling to sleep tonight. Just thinking I wish she was still here and I miss and love everything about her. 

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It is the worst thing I have ever been through, it’s like a piece of me has disappeared and I’m looking for it and cannot find it.  The loss, as you know, is so great, greater than I ever imagined it would be. I know you feel the same way, if only it could somehow be different. People say that I shouldn’t be sad and that I should be happy that I had her as long as I did and I should celebrate her life.  Easier said than done at this point anyway. So sorry to hear about your mom, how did she get the virus?

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Pnutsdaughter

Yes I am so sorry to hear about your loss as well. I can’t believe the devastation Covid has caused and I hate that it effected you and your family.  I keep realizing that you can and will never ever be prepared for how bad the loss of a loved one is. And everyone grieves so differently and uniquely. I found a Facebook group yesterday called Refuge I’m Grief and the women’s in charge of the page wrote a book called “It’s OK that you’re not ok” so I randomly looked for it at my local library and borrowed the audio version. Y’all I’m only Two chapters in but this woman has managed to explain grief and all these emotions I’ve been feeling but haven’t been able to explain to anyone. It also highlights that we live in a culture that does not know how to grieve. Someone should not really say to you that you shouldn’t be sad and just be happy that you had your mom as long as you did. That made you feel so much worst I’m sure. People just aren’t equipped to support a grieving person the right way sometimes, even if there intentions are there. You guys should seriously check it out. You cannot fix grief, it can only be carried. I think I’ll always be learning  how to carry it and still function. I miss my mom so bad too and I’m sorry ladies. I do find comfort in talking to other people like you and reading your stories. 

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My mum died 8 months ago from cancer.  She started her chemo journey last March at the beginning of the Pandemic but it wasn't meant to be.  She was admitted to hospital twice during Covid restrictions and the second time never came home.  5 long weeks in hospital and then 2 weeks in a hospice. It all seems so unfair.  I follow Julia Samual on Instagram her posts and Insta lives are a daily does of therapy for me.  She give great advise

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Pnutsdaughter

It does seem unfair because it really just is. I’ll check out that woman on Instagram. Thank you. I’m sorry that you also lost your momma 

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7 hours ago, laineyric said:

My mum died 8 months ago from cancer.  She started her chemo journey last March at the beginning of the Pandemic but it wasn't meant to be.  She was admitted to hospital twice during Covid restrictions and the second time never came home.  5 long weeks in hospital and then 2 weeks in a hospice. It all seems so unfair.  I follow Julia Samual on Instagram her posts and Insta lives are a daily does of therapy for me.  She give great advise

Sorry about your mom, it is hard getting through something like this and it has only been a few weeks for me but I can’t wait to be in a better state of mind, hope your doing well

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I lost my Mom last month and lost my Dad 6.5 years ago. I am now left with the realization that I have no parents. The family unit that I once had is no more.

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1 hour ago, Kay Kay said:

I lost my Mom last month and lost my Dad 6.5 years ago. I am now left with the realization that I have no parents. The family unit that I once had is no more.

Kay Kay, I know how you feel, there is such a emptiness and nothing will ever be the same again, we are entering into a new phase of our lives and anything is possible. I’m trying to be positive even though it has only been a few weeks for me since my mom passed. It is so hard to get my mind off of her as I’m sure you know how that is. I can’t replace her, I can only honour her in different ways and try to focus on what blessings I have.

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Your story sounds so similar to mine. My Dad passed 2 weeks ago and pretty much I was alone with him in palliative care watching him slowly die in front of me. I was with him for the whole 4 days. It was the most excruciating process I have ever gone through. I held his hand and told him everything I ever wanted to say. He only woke twice but for a short time each time. I just wanted to see my Daddy's blue eyes again and I did. I was wrecked and broken through this process but I try not to think of his last 4 days but I can't help it. He was my world my everything. Lived with him most of my life except his last 2 years. Just had the funeral 2 days ago. I organized it all and now I feel I have nothing left. I force myself to get out of bed it's so hard. I relate to you. I feel so empty and lost without him 

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Pnutsdaughter

I’m so sorry that you had to see your dad go through that and experience that yourself. They are memories that I don’t think we will ever ever forget. Some days I focus on those vivid details only. I found an ease in my pain when I was busy like you. Also planned my moms funeral and felt strangely empty when it was done. Like what was the next thing I can plan or do. I think it’s a coping mechanism. I have no wise words for you but I do know your pain especially the weeks right after it all happens. No one can prepare us for this type of grief and I’m finding there is no wrong or right way to do it. My biggest comfort and telling my story to others and reading all of yours. Makes me feel less alone. 

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27 minutes ago, Annisha68 said:

Your story sounds so similar to mine. My Dad passed 2 weeks ago and pretty much I was alone with him in palliative care watching him slowly die in front of me. I was with him for the whole 4 days. It was the most excruciating process I have ever gone through. I held his hand and told him everything I ever wanted to say. He only woke twice but for a short time each time. I just wanted to see my Daddy's blue eyes again and I did. I was wrecked and broken through this process but I try not to think of his last 4 days but I can't help it. He was my world my everything. Lived with him most of my life except his last 2 years. Just had the funeral 2 days ago. I organized it all and now I feel I have nothing left. I force myself to get out of bed it's so hard. I relate to you. I feel so empty and lost without him 

Annisha , so sorry for your loss, it is the hardest thing to go through.  It is so hard to imagine a life without them, but somehow have to go on.  It is a different life without them and must honour them and carry on somehow.  It has been a few weeks for me and I still long for our daily talks and visits, keeping busy with art helps me and reaching out here has helped me a lot as well. We are not alone in this and have to find our way forward, I have to push myself everyday just to do simple things. Both my parents are gone now, if you have family to lean on, then do so, it will help, if not, I found wonderful people here and it has helped me, I’m here for you my friend.

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RememberingMom

I lost my mom 3 weeks ago, I read your post and cried in sympathy and empathy for those are many of my feelings too. I cry a bit each day, at unexpected times and at known triggers such as revisiting places where we used to go. I am all alone in this city - my life revolved around her and i have no other family here. Now it is a ghost town, filled with memories of the places we used to travel to. She will always be my mom, and now I can no longer hold her hand. And there is no one to hold my hand either. I miss her. 

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Lost20210131

Remembering mom, thanks for your post, I think being alone at times like this is soooooo hard, that is why this forum is so important for everyone.  We certainly have friends here to lean on.  Everyone here is going through something very similar.  Some of us have family and some do not, I say people here are family, here for you my friend. 

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Reading everyones stories, my heart just breaks. I am so sorry for all of your loss's. I also lost my mum two weeks ago to pancreatic cancer and I do not know how to cope. I am 26 and my dad is not in the picture so my brother and I looked after her for from when she was diagnosed last year March. I was her full time carer and watched her deteriorate slowly. I was with her the whole two weeks she was in paliative care and it was beyond any pain I have ever experienced. On her last three days I was there by her side day to night just holding her hand, but during this time she was so weak she could not speak and had a tube through her nose where any liquid she was trying to have would just come straight up again. She got to the point where she couldnt really see me as her eyes were unrecognizable and her hands where starting to become stiff and cold so she couldnt feel me holding her but I would tell her that i was, as the nurses said she could still here me. In a way I feel all of your pain as I too have friends around but it isnt the same talking with them, and most of them dont know what to say or how to act and I just end up feeling like a burden so I keep it to myself. I miss her everyday and am finding it difficult to get out of bed. It does not feel like I have purpose anymore and I feel like no one will ever love me like she did. I miss being able to call her and even now I find myself forgetting for a second and thinking to call her but then remember I cant. I have lost my best friend and it feels like I wont get over the pain. My heart goes out to all of you and  I wish I could take some of the pain away. It's comforting being able to write in here as I don't  have anyone else in my life that understands what I am going through. 

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Pnutsdaughter

Oh my friend. Thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry that you also have lost your mommy. I know you feel alone but know that you are not. Like you said, it is only people that have are going through this truly know the unbearable pain of it all. I am 9 months in from the passing Of my mom. I too was by her side when she passed so I know the experience of what you you went through. You will replay those moments in detail forever likely. I try to remind myself that mommy did not pass alone which sometimes helps ease the pain, but ultimately that experience has changed my life forever. These chats and messages help me so much so keep sharing your story and telling others what you are experiencing along the way. You will find that so many of us can relate in this. Like reading your story first thing this morning reminds me that I am not alone. Keep reaching out. 

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On 2/21/2021 at 8:50 AM, Pnutsdaughter said:

.... We were not allowed to be with her for 30 days while she essentially was dying all alone. That part wrecks me the most.

Dear Pnutsdaughter, I understand. I lost my Father, and he, too, died alone. The thought of it tears me apart. I cannot help agonizing over what his last thoughts were as he lay dying. It horrifies me to think on it, yet I cannot stop. Alone. Violent. No God to help him. Family unaware. What were his final moments like? I want so much to tell him, Don't die. I love you. I wish he could have heard that from me before he died. That was 3 years ago this May 2nd and the thought, the wondering, still haunts me. 

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On 2/21/2021 at 11:12 AM, Lost20210131 said:

May I ask what helped you the most getting through the past months? I try to do artwork and it seems to be peaceful and meditating for me but then I go through terrible times where I can’t stop crying and thinking about her, is there any advice you could give, thank you so much.

Dear Lost20210131, I have heard from co-workers who have lost loved ones that handling the deceased's affairs immediately upon death helped them a great deal. Things like settling accounts and executing the will of the deceased. These things might sound cold, at first; but some say taking care of the business end soothes the wounded heart of the bereaved. That is a lesson I learned late in my journey since my Father died, going on 3 years now this May 2nd; it has been madness for me but I am learning how to self-comfort; and if there are tools like this that aid in the healing process, I am all for them, wherever they might be found. TLN.

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Lost20210131
9 hours ago, kiz20 said:

Reading everyones stories, my heart just breaks. I am so sorry for all of your loss's. I also lost my mum two weeks ago to pancreatic cancer and I do not know how to cope. I am 26 and my dad is not in the picture so my brother and I looked after her for from when she was diagnosed last year March. I was her full time carer and watched her deteriorate slowly. I was with her the whole two weeks she was in paliative care and it was beyond any pain I have ever experienced. On her last three days I was there by her side day to night just holding her hand, but during this time she was so weak she could not speak and had a tube through her nose where any liquid she was trying to have would just come straight up again. She got to the point where she couldnt really see me as her eyes were unrecognizable and her hands where starting to become stiff and cold so she couldnt feel me holding her but I would tell her that i was, as the nurses said she could still here me. In a way I feel all of your pain as I too have friends around but it isnt the same talking with them, and most of them dont know what to say or how to act and I just end up feeling like a burden so I keep it to myself. I miss her everyday and am finding it difficult to get out of bed. It does not feel like I have purpose anymore and I feel like no one will ever love me like she did. I miss being able to call her and even now I find myself forgetting for a second and thinking to call her but then remember I cant. I have lost my best friend and it feels like I wont get over the pain. My heart goes out to all of you and  I wish I could take some of the pain away. It's comforting being able to write in here as I don't  have anyone else in my life that understands what I am going through. 

My mom passed less than 2 months ago and now life is empty for me.  Everyone kept saying it will get easier with time, but, “easier” is not the word.  I just think as each day passes you somehow get comforted by the fact that your mom was ready to go and that she is no longer suffering and most importantly at peace. Faith, hope & love with grace

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Lost20210131
9 hours ago, kiz20 said:

Reading everyones stories, my heart just breaks. I am so sorry for all of your loss's. I also lost my mum two weeks ago to pancreatic cancer and I do not know how to cope. I am 26 and my dad is not in the picture so my brother and I looked after her for from when she was diagnosed last year March. I was her full time carer and watched her deteriorate slowly. I was with her the whole two weeks she was in paliative care and it was beyond any pain I have ever experienced. On her last three days I was there by her side day to night just holding her hand, but during this time she was so weak she could not speak and had a tube through her nose where any liquid she was trying to have would just come straight up again. She got to the point where she couldnt really see me as her eyes were unrecognizable and her hands where starting to become stiff and cold so she couldnt feel me holding her but I would tell her that i was, as the nurses said she could still here me. In a way I feel all of your pain as I too have friends around but it isnt the same talking with them, and most of them dont know what to say or how to act and I just end up feeling like a burden so I keep it to myself. I miss her everyday and am finding it difficult to get out of bed. It does not feel like I have purpose anymore and I feel like no one will ever love me like she did. I miss being able to call her and even now I find myself forgetting for a second and thinking to call her but then remember I cant. I have lost my best friend and it feels like I wont get over the pain. My heart goes out to all of you and  I wish I could take some of the pain away. It's comforting being able to write in here as I don't  have anyone else in my life that understands what I am going through. 

Here for you my friend, we are all in the same boat.  We are family here and it will help you to post here whenever you feel the need.  No one understands except others who are going through what your going through.  This forum has helped me a lot in the past few weeks and I’m here for you.

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Thank you all so much for replying to me. You have no idea how much it means. It touches me and comforts me so much having people on this platform to share stories with and who understand my pain. Is there anything in particular that helped you all get through it? I have tried a few psychologists but have not found the right person yet so it makes me feel worse. I was thinking maybe group grieving sessions ? I just find it helps me so much more when I can talk to people that understand and have been through it themselves.  Because I took the year off to be my mums carer and she was my whole life and world for that year, I only focused on her, so now I feel very lost and feel guilty for not working but I can't seem to get myself out of bed most days. It is so difficult as the whole time she always had hope and didn't want to believe she wouldn't get better, even on her last days so I never really had a chance to say our final goodbyes or last words and its something I am struggling with. She couldn't speak her last three days and I keep getting images of the way she looked in that time and the way she looked when she died and it hurts so much. I try to just think of her before she was sick but maybe because it was so recent I keep having flashbacks to when she had the tube in her nose and her cold hands and all the traumatic images. I am hoping over time I can start thinking about more of the happy times but I guess for now I'm still in shock and just still can't believe shes not here. She is my bestfriend and not having her I fear my heart won't recover. I really really cannot thank you all enough for taking the time to reply, I was in such a dark place yesterday and thought I was so alone but reading these today has brought me so much comfort and I feel the love from you and I am sending it back to everyone of you. I may not have my mum psychically but knowing there is this platform of family brings makes me feel less scared. thank you all again and I am here to listen and help each and everyone of you as well. sending lots of love 

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17 hours ago, Lost20210131 said:

My mom passed less than 2 months ago and now life is empty for me.  Everyone kept saying it will get easier with time, but, “easier” is not the word.  I just think as each day passes you somehow get comforted by the fact that your mom was ready to go and that she is no longer suffering and most importantly at peace. Faith, hope & love with grace

I am so sorry to hear that. I completely understand how you are feeling as I am too feeling very empty even with a partner by my side , it is just not the same. Thank you for replying and I also watched a ted talk last night on grieving a loved one and I completely agree. I get frustrated when people say I will move on eventually as I will never move on but what I heard last night was this woman talking about moving forward and you will move forward with your loved ones by your side. That brought me some comfort hearing that and so I hope it does for you too. sending you lots of love and here for you xx

17 hours ago, Lost20210131 said:

Here for you my friend, we are all in the same boat.  We are family here and it will help you to post here whenever you feel the need.  No one understands except others who are going through what your going through.  This forum has helped me a lot in the past few weeks and I’m here for you.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your kindness and it brings me hope knowing that there are so many supportive and caring people in this world. I am here for you as well and cannot thank you enough for replying and making me feel less alone xx

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21 hours ago, Pnutsdaughter said:

Oh my friend. Thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry that you also have lost your mommy. I know you feel alone but know that you are not. Like you said, it is only people that have are going through this truly know the unbearable pain of it all. I am 9 months in from the passing Of my mom. I too was by her side when she passed so I know the experience of what you you went through. You will replay those moments in detail forever likely. I try to remind myself that mommy did not pass alone which sometimes helps ease the pain, but ultimately that experience has changed my life forever. These chats and messages help me so much so keep sharing your story and telling others what you are experiencing along the way. You will find that so many of us can relate in this. Like reading your story first thing this morning reminds me that I am not alone. Keep reaching out. 

Thank you so incredibly much for this message. I am so touched by the kind words and it really has helped me feel less alone when I was in such a dark headspace yesterday. I am so sorry you have lost your mum and thank you for sharing with me. For my brother he wasn't by her side when she passed because he couldn't handle seeing her last breath and so my heart goes out to you because it is very different being by their side to the end and hurts like nothing else to see it. I appreciate you putting it that way because for me I replay that moment of her last breath in my head but you are absolutely right, she did not pass alone and i am so beyond grateful I had the chance to be there in the end as  I cannot even imagine what it would be like for some that did not get to be by their side loved ones side :( am here for you and please if I can do anything to help or anything else you want to share I am here. lots of love for you and your beautiful mum 

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Hi everyone,

Am struggling quite a lot today and just don't know what to do. The pain is so intense but at the same time I feel numb. I don't know who to talk to because even though its been a few weeks now , everyone else has moved on with their lives and I am still feeling just as much, if not more pain then when she first passed away. I don't even feel like talking about it with any of my friends as I feel like I am just a broken record and say the same thing and most times they tell me they dont know what to say and that they are sorry so then I feel bad talking about it and just deal with it alone. I don't really feel I have much support around but this pain is just unbearable. I just wish I had more time with her and I just still can't seem to accept that she is gone. I don't know how I am suppose to get through life  or do anything without her by my side. I miss her so incredibly much and I wish she could hold me right now and tell me it was going to be ok. I hope everyone else is doing ok and sending lots of love. Didn't know what to do so just thought I would write here. 

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Lost20210131
10 minutes ago, kiz20 said:

Hi everyone,

Am struggling quite a lot today and just don't know what to do. The pain is so intense but at the same time I feel numb. I don't know who to talk to because even though its been a few weeks now , everyone else has moved on with their lives and I am still feeling just as much, if not more pain then when she first passed away. I don't even feel like talking about it with any of my friends as I feel like I am just a broken record and say the same thing and most times they tell me they dont know what to say and that they are sorry so then I feel bad talking about it and just deal with it alone. I don't really feel I have much support around but this pain is just unbearable. I just wish I had more time with her and I just still can't seem to accept that she is gone. I don't know how I am suppose to get through life  or do anything without her by my side. I miss her so incredibly much and I wish she could hold me right now and tell me it was going to be ok. I hope everyone else is doing ok and sending lots of love. Didn't know what to do so just thought I would write here. 

Hey there, as I was reading your post I realized I’m going through the same.  I have not moved from bed much and feel like this might get the best of me...., if I let it.  Let’s get moving, walking or cleaning the house, anything, put some music on and try our best to survive this and post here our progress.  I think that exercise will help mentally and physically and help you focus and sleep better. Hope tomorrow is better my friend.

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Oh I feel the exact same way. Sometimes I feel like there is no point to anything but you are right in a sense that we have control over this so after reading this post I am going to get out of bed and go for a walk and get a coffee. Thank you. hearing someone else say that who understands helps me a lot. so yeah lets both do that together and after the walk I know the pain wont be gone but at least it will help change the environment because right now being in bed is just making me think worse thoughts and get caught up in the pain.  sending you lots of love and strength. 

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Lost20210131
4 minutes ago, Valerie Lockhart said:

Dear  Lost20210131,

I'm sorry for your loss. The first few nights after my mother died, I too was awaken out of my sleep from hearing my mother call out to me. It's been three years, and still I often awaken hearing her call out for me. It seems to be so real. My mother too asked to be cremated, but she wanted her ashes buried with my grandmother. I honored her wishes and their plot is beside one another. Few things in life will ever affect you more deeply than the death of a parent. Not only do you have to endure the intense pain of loss but you are also left to face a future that will likely be quite different from what you had expected. You appear to be a religious person, so pour out your heart to God in prayer. He cares for you. One way that God provides comfort is through his holy spirit. It can infuse you with “power beyond what is normal,” so that you can endure the pain of grief. (2 Corinthians 4:7) God also provides “comfort from the Scriptures.” (Romans 15:4) So ask God for his spirit, and take time to read the encouragement and hope for the future found in his Word, the Bible. God promises to put an end to death and suffering. (Revelation 21: 3, 4) By meditating on God’s promises found in the Bible, you can find real hope and the strength to keep going. (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

Your right, I must put my moms ashes somewhere soon and it is hard because she never said where. The one thing she did say was she didn’t want to be buried in the ground, she has a plot but I can’t go against her wishes and don’t know what to do with her ashes.

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6 hours ago, kiz20 said:

I don't even feel like talking about it with any of my friends as I feel like I am just a broken record....

Dear kiz20, I know how you feel. Since my Father died in 2018 (3 years ago this May 2nd); I, too, seem like a broken record to those who have told me to "let it go already". If it weren't for this site, I would have no one in whom to confide. His surviving family (other than me) was finished with him long before he died (they turned on him for being an honest man @TLN); and God since that day seems so far away, almost non-existent. This is really the only place where I can honor my Father without reproach. I am so sorry about your Mum. Love to you, too. TLN.

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notsurewhoiam

My mom passed five days after Thanksgiving of last  year. She contracted COVID and was hospitalized on November 7th. A week later, they moved her to another hospital and she was placed in ICU-COVID unit. A week later she passed. 

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Lost20210131
55 minutes ago, notsurewhoiam said:

My mom passed five days after Thanksgiving of last  year. She contracted COVID and was hospitalized on November 7th. A week later, they moved her to another hospital and she was placed in ICU-COVID unit. A week later she passed. 

Sorry for your loss, it doesn’t sound like this has gotten easier with time, that’s what everyone says.  It has been a couple of months now for me and I’m still struggling to find some sort of normalcy.  I just hope it comes sooner than later for everyone everywhere.

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Lost20210131
1 minute ago, notsurewhoiam said:

It definitely has not. I am finding the more time passes the worse it gets. 

I’m sorry to hear that, if only we could find peace with their passing somehow. I was so hoping it would get better with time and have to believe it will.

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