Members nic98 Posted February 14, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 Hi everyone. I've decided to join an online grief group to try something new. I lost my mom very suddenly and tragically in August 2020. We don't know why she died or what caused or and never will. The autopsy report came back inconclusive. I'm 22 years and old trying to adjust to this new way of life without my mom here but I'm having an extremely hard time. Does it ever get better? I feel so much pain in my soul and don't feel like I'm ever going to come out of this bubble of sadness and grief. I'm in therapy and being treated but I don't see how anything or anyone can ever help me because at the end of the day my mom is gone and is never coming back. How do you cope with such pain and loss? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Trikwuchi Posted February 14, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 Hi Nic98, Losing your mom is so very painful. I have a daughter about your age and it's really young to lose your mom. I lost my mom to covid 5 weeks ago. The pain is like nothing else I've ever experienced. I'm hoping time will make it bearable, but right now I can't see that time. I feel angry. I feel robbed. I feel intense pain, sadness and more. My mom would want me to be happy with my family, but it's so early for that. You need to be kind to yourself, it's early for you too. Don't expect to feel great or to have dealt with it. You'll wake up everyday and it's the first thing on your mind. It stays with you during the day...perhaps with some moments of distraction, but it's always there. Continue with the therapy. All I want is my mum back. I know that's impossible. There are stages of grief and it's different for everyone. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nic98 Posted February 14, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2021 Hi Trikwuchi, I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom. The pain really is like nothing else and I too hope that with time it will get better. It's so unfair. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Trikwuchi Posted February 15, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 15, 2021 Thanks Nic. I'll keep you in my thoughts too. Right now our loss weighs heavy on us, but we need time to process everything. Time and time again I ask why it happened. Why was she taken. It feels so unfair and cruel. I'm sure we all feel this way. Especially losing your mom at a young age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monty Posted February 17, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Nic98, I lost my Mum suddenly 4 years ago to a brain aneurysm. A sudden loss piles on a different layer of grief as we didn’t get to say goodbye. I do find comfort in the fact that my Mum did not suffer as her passing was so instant. I found writing my Mum a letter telling her all the things I wish I could have said to her helped. I can only imagine how hard it is tnot having a definitive answer to why your Mum died. Waiting for my Mum’s autopsy report was so long and painful (we thought it must have been a heart attack) but then to have no answer at the end.... I cannot even imagine. It does get better a little with time. The intense pain becomes less intense but we still walk around with our soul crushed and a piece of us never the same again. We learn to live with and around our grief. There are still times when a song comes on the radio and I have to pull over and cry intensely or I see someone who looks like my Mum from behind and I want to run up and hug them. Be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to to get through this difficult time, You are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shawnab8 Posted February 18, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 Hello Everyone, My Mom is dyeing right in front of me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. She is on hospice and her lungs are giving out and she is to weak for surgery so that's not an option. I was at her house over the weekend and the nurse came in and said it could be any day now and it made me feel angry and very sad. I think I'm angry at her for doing this to her body and not taking care of her self. My mom was a heavy smoker and a alcoholic in her later years (after the kids moved out) and it did so much damage to her body that there is no recovery. My mom has always been my rock and my best friend but I don't know how to handle this. My dad has already mentally checked out, he also has the starts of dementia. I have children and a grandchild and so I must go on, I'm just trying to figure out how? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost20210131 Posted February 19, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 19, 2021 I just Posted today, I just lost my mom a couple weeks ago, I feel hope for you because you have your whole life ahead of you and there is so much you can do in this area, maybe help others that are going through what you are, being a mom myself, I know your mom loved you with all her heart and is proud of you, so I think if you do things in her memory , like start a foundation, plant trees, start group therapy sessions and maybe take courses to become someone who can help others going through what you are, I know for me, I’m half way through my life and it is still very hard because I still feel like a small girl in so many ways and I understand what your going through. You have so much to look forward to, take time to do the things you know would make your mom smile and do what makes your life better and most of all, help others as that will help you to get where you need to be, god bless and remember your mom is always right with you in your heart and pray even if you don’t go to church, I pray and it’s like meditation and it really helps a lot, here for you my friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nic98 Posted February 20, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 On 2/18/2021 at 12:45 PM, Shawnab8 said: Hello Everyone, My Mom is dyeing right in front of me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. She is on hospice and her lungs are giving out and she is to weak for surgery so that's not an option. I was at her house over the weekend and the nurse came in and said it could be any day now and it made me feel angry and very sad. I think I'm angry at her for doing this to her body and not taking care of her self. My mom was a heavy smoker and a alcoholic in her later years (after the kids moved out) and it did so much damage to her body that there is no recovery. My mom has always been my rock and my best friend but I don't know how to handle this. My dad has already mentally checked out, he also has the starts of dementia. I have children and a grandchild and so I must go on, I'm just trying to figure out how? I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I will be praying for you and your family. 8 hours ago, Lost20210131 said: I just Posted today, I just lost my mom a couple weeks ago, I feel hope for you because you have your whole life ahead of you and there is so much you can do in this area, maybe help others that are going through what you are, being a mom myself, I know your mom loved you with all her heart and is proud of you, so I think if you do things in her memory , like start a foundation, plant trees, start group therapy sessions and maybe take courses to become someone who can help others going through what you are, I know for me, I’m half way through my life and it is still very hard because I still feel like a small girl in so many ways and I understand what your going through. You have so much to look forward to, take time to do the things you know would make your mom smile and do what makes your life better and most of all, help others as that will help you to get where you need to be, god bless and remember your mom is always right with you in your heart and pray even if you don’t go to church, I pray and it’s like meditation and it really helps a lot, here for you my friend I'm sorry for your loss. Losing our parents is tough incredibly tough. I will take your kind words to heart and keep them in mind as I navigate through this new way of life. I'm also going to try meditation, I've been advised by many people that it helps. Right now its hard to look forward to anything but I will try my best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost20210131 Posted February 20, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 20, 2021 One thing I can say about my mom passing a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to be there with her til the end and I was, but I wished I had started conversations about forgiveness to each other and I did tell her how much I loved her and she told me but it was to the point where there wasn’t much time left and I did what she ask me to, she wanted a turkey dinner and coconut cream pie, her favorite meal and I brought it to her and she couldn’t even take a bite , but it made her feel good knowing I brought it, I bought her a comfort cross, small wooden cross to hold in her hand and she never let go of it, it helped her which in turn helped me. Make every moment count my friend, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Trikwuchi Posted February 22, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 22, 2021 On 2/14/2021 at 3:42 PM, nic98 said: Hi Trikwuchi, I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom. The pain really is like nothing else and I too hope that with time it will get better. It's so unfair. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there Hi Nic I just wanted to check in with you. I won't ask how you are. People ask me and I think...how do you think I am. My mum is gone...gone forever and I hate it. I just reply that I'm taking it day by day. That's all I can really do. I'm sat here so sad and in pain thinking life is terribly unfair. My mum was ripped away from me by by this deadly disease thatis covid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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