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Love of my life died suddenly (covid) and I can't accept it -- so many regrets


Mark loves Sandra

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April Ballou

I completely understand how you feel Gina.  I still have my moments of crying,  mostly at night.   After having somebody to sleep with for 38 years it's hard sleeping without them.  I just thank God that we will be reunited one day soon.

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22 hours ago, Gina Mahlan said:

he had fallen away from the church.

Doesn't matter as much what the church thinks of us so long as we had that connection with God..  One thing I managed to do raising my kids, so I can be glad they have that.  I know your faith holds and pray you receive assurance of where your husband is...

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Hi mark. Your story really hits me hard and it is very similar to mine. I’m wondering how you’re doing now? 
My boyfriend just died the same way. He was not vaccinated and all the similar things occurred… he got intubated and then Suddenly organ failure, pupils dilated, and brain dead, blood clots and strokes in the brain. I don’t understand covid. 
We all thought he’d be alright. He was young and healthy and most people are generally fine when they get it. 
I’m left with so many regrets and I don’t know how I’ll go on. 
I hope you are doing better now… well I’m wondering what it’s like for you now 

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3 hours ago, Nvergara90 said:

Hi mark. Your story really hits me hard and it is very similar to mine. I’m wondering how you’re doing now? 
My boyfriend just died the same way. He was not vaccinated and all the similar things occurred… he got intubated and then Suddenly organ failure, pupils dilated, and brain dead, blood clots and strokes in the brain. I don’t understand covid. 
We all thought he’d be alright. He was young and healthy and most people are generally fine when they get it. 
I’m left with so many regrets and I don’t know how I’ll go on. 
I hope you are doing better now… well I’m wondering what it’s like for you now 

Nvergara90, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.  Yours is a story of whys.......why did this happen, why did it have to happen to my boyfriend, why was he taken from me so soon, etc.  It is very hard to deal with, all these questions.  People have told me it was God's plan, at the beginning of my grieving process, I chose to deny it.  I was always taught to believe that was true, and as time has gone on, I tend to believe it more and more.  My first husband was a non Catholic, but a non churchgoer.  When we became engaged, he stated that if we were planning to have childen, it would be better if we were of the same faith.  He asked my father to be his sponser and was baptized 3 months before our wedding......from then on, he was a church going husband and father.  When he passed on, I'm sure the Lord welcomed him back into His fold.  When I met Damon, he had been born and raised a Catholic.  He had a very difficult childhood and early adulthood and turned away from the church.  After I met him when we were both in our fifties, I would go to church every Sunday and after awhile he asked if he could go with.  Before long, he would ask if he could pray with me, and by the time he passed from Covid, I know he was more then ready to return to his heavenly home.  After much thought, I realized that God's plan was to bring me into these two men's lives to help them on the right path to their eternal home.  Who knows if I had never met them, would they ever have  allowed God back into their lives.  People who have suffered a loss like us have told me it usually takes a few years to come to terms with our loved one being gone.....and I see that it is true.  Not a day or maybe even an hour goes by that we don't think of them and miss them terribly..  But somehow, with God's help, we learn to push on, one day at a time.  After all, we are promised that we will see them again someday.......it will be different, but something to really look forward to!

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We all here have suffered losing a loved one.  And I'm sure we all have went through asking what if or why.  I understand  because when my husband Darrell died my world fell apart.  God helped me and is still helping me.   My life will never be the same.  I went to church tonight and they were talking about marriage.   I feel like I had the best husband a woman could ever ask for.  Sure we had our disagreements but we always made up.  Three pieces of advise I would give to a couple.  1.  Put God first.  2. Always remember that the woman was made from a rib to be the man's equal.  3. Never go to bed angry with one another.  Never take your spouse for granted because you are not promised tomorrow. 

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18 hours ago, Gina Mahlan said:

People have told me it was God's plan, at the beginning of my grieving process

This is the age old question...did GOD take them from us?  Too hard for people to comprehend, I would never tell a griever that!  So easy for someone to "fit into their thinking/beliefs" when it doesn't affect them!  It can take us time to work out for ourselves what helps us through this most difficult times of our lives, we don't need anyone speaking trite words so easily stamped upon us!

http://www.griefspeaks.com/id9.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2018/01/what-to-say-or-not-to-person-in-grief.html
 

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

  So easy for someone to "fit into their thinking/beliefs" when it doesn't affect them!  

Well said Kay...someone said it to me or otherwise: "it's destiny'....maybe it's true but it made me feel so doomed...

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Yes the people are thinking that they know it all but they don't.   They will tell you "I wouldn't do it that way" they dont know until it happens to them.   We know what it is like, we are the people that have lost the love of our lives.   In my lifetime I have had grandparents,  my mother, aunts, uncles, and even a brother to pass away.  This is the one that has turned my life completely upside down. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. 

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