Members Teppiesteph Posted February 1, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2021 I only had her for about 2 and a half months, she was the sweetest little 2 lb kitty and 6 months old. When I got her I knew she wouldn’t live long but I didn’t expect it at 6 months. She had a neurological disorder that just made her a bit wobbly, she didn’t feel any pain and overall had a good quality of life. She got worms so I took her to the vet and they gave her flea and worm meds. Every since then for the past week she had seizures every day. I held her for every one and she recovered after them fairly quickly so I thought maybe just get on anti epileptic meds and she could be okay. I was so wrong. She started taking them and Saturday she had 20! Vets said just keep taking it, then yesterday morning running off one hour of sleep I had to hold her through 30. Vet prescribed her more meds but I was on the verge of mental break and thought the meds were making it worse and her next dose wasn’t until midnight. She took her meds at 12 and was good for a couple hours with only one lasting ten seconds. Then I put her in a cushioned cage so I could take a shower, when I got out she was seizing over and over and didn’t stop for an hour. It’s scarred into my mind. I took her to the Er so they could stop them and knew it was time. It got so bad so quick and I can’t help blame myself for giving her medicine. I can’t help but feel her body and seeing it seizing in my mind, it feels like ptsd. My boyfriend isn’t as affected, so I feel alone. Will I get past this? Thank you if u have read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 2, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 I am so sorry. Sometimes life is just so unfair. It sounds like you gave her as good a life as you could. Men and women can grieve differently...https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/10/how-we-mourn-understanding-our.html Often we do feel alone in our grief, our feelings are so intense. You may want to see a pet grief counselor. It is not your fault, but then you know that deep inside, it's just we feel what we feel even if our head says another thing. Try talking to her, telling her how you feel. Or write to her and then burn it, sending it to her. Memorializing them can also help as we're paying honor to them. I hope this brings you some comfort: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gary55 Posted February 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 How heartbreaking to read. Sounds so very traumatic. Reading through this, you really must not blame yourself, you were doing what needed to be done. As mentioned, it may be an idea to speak to a counsellor, I'm doing so and it does help to speak to a professional who knows about losing a pet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Teppiesteph Posted February 2, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 Thank you so much for your thoughts. Everyday it gets easier, I am slowly coming to terms that she is better now! In a happy place. I have two boy cats that help me tremendously, anytime I cry they are right there slapping my hand telling me stop that! she’s not having seizures anymore! Why are you sad? I like to think of it that way. The two months she was here was filled with love and comfort, and lots of food lol. I’m finding comfort in the fact that even though I had to see her seizing that much that whenever she came to that I was right there. And she knew someone cared about her deeply. Thank you again for taking time to reply, and I hope your journey is going smoothly lots of love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Teppiesteph Posted February 2, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 I also realize men and women grieve differently, he has more experience with animal death than me, I have never had to put one down before. He is there for me whenever I cry and I am thankful. I am getting her ashes in two weeks and am going to make her own little shelf with some pictures which I think will be good for me. The hardest part is not seeing her face. The note is a beautiful idea thank you for suggesting it, I will try it out soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gary55 Posted February 2, 2021 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2021 I'm so glad to hear you're feeling a bit better about things. Everyone's grief is different, and personal. You did all you could. I've cried so many tears, and I know they will go on for quite a while. Take comfort in the fact that your love carries on and she knows it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 3, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted February 3, 2021 I am glad you are not alone in this, that your partner and other cats are there for you. I've lost 24 dogs and cats in my adult lifetime and it's just plain hard, to me, it's harder now that I'm old and alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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