Loss of my younger brother

[Sarahleg]

Hello. 
 

I lost my brother 2 weeks ago. I have been reading everyones posts on this website and I’m so scared for what the future has to offer. My brother died suddenly and it has forever changed our entire family. Even as I am writing now I still have that hope in the back of my head that this just a nightmare and I’m going to wake up. My family has always been very lucky with no exposures to close family deaths till this nightmare has occurred. Sometimes I feel the pain of watching my parents struggle is more heart wrenching then anything. Until the guilt of being angry at my brother for leaving us like this kicks in that for me has been unbearable. I have never in my life been so mad and so heartbroken at the exact same moment. I miss him so much but I’m so mad at the devastation, the hurt and all the missed experiences that we will never get to share. This has changed my entire way of thinking and my view on the world. Even the feeling of empathy that I have for other people has completely changed once you really experience how fragile life is and how precious time really is. This is something you really don’t know till you love someone completely and you run out of this. That no money or convincing will let you have back any of that time. 
 

i only have one question how has anyone’s parents dealt with the loss of your sibling. I am terrified for my mother and constantly worried she will not make it through this. 
 

so sorry to go on for so long. 

[reader]

Dear Sarah,

I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies and condolence to you and your family.

It is unimaginable to lose a child. The pain and sorrow is unimaginable. I truly hope with more time and the support of friends and family and the community, your parents will find a way forward. I thought this article might help.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/surviving-the-loss-of-a-child_b_57e8796de4b00267764fc6fd

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

[Sarahleg]

Thank you so much! I just read it it’s wonderful I will definitely be sharing it with my mother. 
thank you again truly 

[Chloeb]

Hi,

 

I'm so sorry, for once I can honestly say I know how you feel and mean it.

 

My younger brother passed away in July 2020. We spent 20 years growing up together as best friends, having each others back and creating some incredible memories. Now I'm truly heart broken without him, mad with him for leaving and feeling like the biggest let down. I don't know if I would punch him or give him the tightest hug if I was to see him again. Like you said seeing your parents suffer and grieve breaks your heart even more as you want to stop anything causing them pain but knowing they have to ride this road.

[Suzi]

Hi Chloeb -

I share your pain.  My younger brother died two days before Christmas.  The heartbreak is crushing.  We are just over a month from his death, and I still have moments of disbelief.  I keep looking at videos and pictures.  Just hearing his voice makes it seem like he is still here.  It is a gut-wrenching journey, and the road will be tough at times.  I am a Christian, and I know I will see my brother again in Heaven.  This gives me solace and strength to continue living and bringing light to others.  It is through serving others that we feel joy.  I am praying for you!   Suzi

[Chloeb]

On 1/25/2021 at 8:00 PM, Suzi said:

Hi Chloeb -

I share your pain.  My younger brother died two days before Christmas.  The heartbreak is crushing.  We are just over a month from his death, and I still have moments of disbelief.  I keep looking at videos and pictures.  Just hearing his voice makes it seem like he is still here.  It is a gut-wrenching journey, and the road will be tough at times.  I am a Christian, and I know I will see my brother again in Heaven.  This gives me solace and strength to continue living and bringing light to others.  It is through serving others that we feel joy.  I am praying for you!   Suzi

Thank you Suzi, to be honest without meaning to offend you, I don't know what I have ever truly believed in. But while my brother was in ICU I visited the Chapel several times a day. Thanking whatever higher power there is for giving me my brother for 20 years and to ask that he is looked after when he arrives at wherever it is we go next. The only thing that worries me about thinking of God and such is the situation that my brother passed away in. I don't want to let myself fully believe in God if it means accepting that my brother will suffer for his choices

[Suzi]

Thinking of you.  

[BatGirl801]

Hey there, I’m new here, and have experienced the loss of my little brother in April, 2021. Just a month into this and my mind and emotions are all over the place. I find myself mostly in denial and numb or angry, not angry at anyone specifically, just angry he is gone just like that. He was only 32yrs old and hadn’t got to experience having his own family and raising kids. He was taken away unexpectedly in an accident that ended with the vehicle in a river and he drowned. It’s so heart wrenching. His best friend that was with him survived and a lot of questions are answered through him and the amazing people that were there to help. My brother had every one in that canyon trying to rescue him in time, he had trained cpr and emt that came up on the accident. Even with all their efforts it was unsuccessful. They cared so much for someone they didn’t even know and that gives some comfort. But in my head I keep asking why it all wasn’t enough, why do others survive and not him. He didn’t have any real injuries, just drowned.

He was the baby of the family. The glue.
My Mom and my (step) Dad’s only biological child together, though Dad raised all of us like his own and we don’t ever call it as it is. He is Dad and we are his kids, I know it has to hurt in its own way though. Like you said, watching the parents go through the pain is heart wrenching. 
I feel like our grief identifies on a few levels with the way you describe it so I find myself telling you my story to let you know you’re not alone in your grief. I’ve never had my world so shook and hope there are others out there to offer their stories, advice, support or words of encouragement. The future doesn’t seem bright when they say it doesn’t get better and it doesn’t go away, you just “go with it”. I myself have my own little family and I have to be here for them. They are what holds me together. I have create a bright future for them, for now we are here dealing with our loss to find out how to make that future.