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How to help my grieving Mum after the loss of my sister


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My sister passed from an aggressive cancer 5 years ago. Her battle was a short 5 months and shattered our family completely. She left behind her 1 year old daughter (now 6). My sister had always longed to be a Mother and it was cut so short. The grief we’ve all felt over these last 5 years has not eased at all. I have two young children of my own, who give me the strength to power on through. But my Mum is not coping at all. I’ve not seen her smile or laugh the way she used to. She is broken into a million pieces and nothing seems to help her, not even newborn grandchildren. My Mum opened up to me on Christmas Eve and told me “I hate this life”. I feel that she is giving up on life and it breaks my heart to see that. My mum is too proud to see a doctor/counsellor.. so what can I do as a daughter who loves her dearly? What can possibly help her? I thought the gift of grandchildren could help focus her mind and bring her a new wave of happiness, but she is too broken. 

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Donya , I’m so sorry about your sister .  Your mum sounds as if she is in the same space and me and many other parents posting on Loss of an adult child  here on this site ( top left of page).  Could you ask your mum if  she would care to join us - she will find that we echo her thoughts and  feelings .   That may sound as if it would make matters worse for her but we find it very comforting to have such empathy and knowing that everyone truly understands how bad it can be because they are there too.   My own son died four years ago and it is an unimaginable void in my life but this group does give me a sense of calm and support .   Your mum only needs to reach out to us - there is a lot of kindness here.   If she feels unable to write then she is welcome to read our posts and get to know us.  Roz

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