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Devastated, Goldie is gone


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Gary55

I could do with 60 here. Its minus 1 now and says going to be minus the 6 overnight. Becoming milder though. Kodie is lovely, bit of a pain the pulling though you need to watch. Funny how dogs differ. You have certainly had your share of pets! Think of all that love. I wonder how life would be a without them. I've found Hachi on a site 123movies,ill look forward to watching that. Thanks for mentioning it. 

Castles are romantic I suppose, there's lots near here. And some famous ones not too far away. We've got the ship Discovery in dundee, the one that went to the Antarctic with Scott. Like most things if you stay somewhere you never bother visiting things. 

We have the NHS here, but it's probably at the end of the day like what you have. Big pharma runs the show, at one time iworked with Glaxo, so I know how they operate. 

Wish I could have had Goldie for another couple years. I think one lesson he's taught me is to appreciate things now, as you don't know what's going to happen. 

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Collettesweetbear

Feeling a little poorly today guys. Upset tummy all day. Can’t seem to get it sorted. But, I will. Still coughing. I can’t seem to smell anything yet but, the mans cigarette smoke. And, actually I’m glad he walked by because at least if I can faintly smell his cigarette smoke, there may be progress. Big hugs around. “Bear”


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Wootles567

Hi bear, big hugs back atcha. Sorry to hear about your tummy - be gentle with yourself. Maybe a nice soothing bath? Even if you still can’t quite taste yet, it’s progress that you could smell the guy’s cigarette. Try to eat something, too, if your tummy will allow. It’s important to keep strength up and give your body the best chance of fighting back.

Gary, it’s a lovely lesson from Goldie, to “appreciate things now”. There are good things around and in store for us, even though it’s difficult right now. Just look at the way Kodie came into Kay’s life. Just wait for any signs. I’m going to do the same. Things happen when the time is right x

Gosh you are one smart lady, Kay. Couldn’t agree more with your reading of big pharma, and the political situation in general. The world sure is a funny place right now! I remember reading that you actually ran a support group for folks before covid hit, so you haven’t missed your calling. 

big hugs to you all xxxxxx

 

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Collettesweetbear

Wrong post

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Collettesweetbear

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Gary55

Small things Collette, you wouldn't think a man's cigarette would mean much, but here you are, at least you smell something. Hope the tummy improves soon. 

Elle, yes i never appreciated Goldie as much as I should have several years ago. He was there, it's only now I'm thinking back to earlier days. If only I could go back to then. 

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Wootles567

Oh, mate.. It's pretty clear you always appreciated your Goldie x He would have just loved the time he got with his dad, sniffing, exploring old castles, and just knowing that you were with him. That's what makes dogs happy, being with their person, or 'alpha'.  Goldie had a pretty amazing life, better than most dogs, or even people get, because you gave him real love. But it hurts, thinking about the time we could have spent out frolicking and scratching a tummy, when instead we were fretting about a bill, or some other thing. It'd be wonderful if time worked like that, where we could go back.

I'm sorry, Gary, I feel about as helpful as a glass hammer or chocolate teapot, haha x I understand, and wish I could give you a proper hug. But listen, you will see him again. And you can always appreciate Goldie, here and now. Think of the good times, and keep talking to him. Dogs are happy when their people are happy, and sad when we are sad. How are you going with meditation/pet communication? Hope it is slightly warmer than yesterday. Are the grandkids still there?

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Gary55
1 hour ago, Wootles567 said:

Oh, mate.. It's pretty clear you always appreciated your Goldie x He would have just loved the time he got with his dad, sniffing, exploring old castles, and just knowing that you were with him. That's what makes dogs happy, being with their person, or 'alpha'.  Goldie had a pretty amazing life, better than most dogs, or even people get, because you gave him real love. But it hurts, thinking about the time we could have spent out frolicking and scratching a tummy, when instead we were fretting about a bill, or some other thing. It'd be wonderful if time worked like that, where we could go back.

I'm sorry, Gary, I feel about as helpful as a glass hammer or chocolate teapot, haha x I understand, and wish I could give you a proper hug. But listen, you will see him again. And you can always appreciate Goldie, here and now. Think of the good times, and keep talking to him. Dogs are happy when their people are happy, and sad when we are sad. How are you going with meditation/pet communication? Hope it is slightly warmer than yesterday. Are the grandkids still there?

Hi Elle, for some reason I've quoted your post when I was just going to reply, and now I can't unquote it, must be old age! Anyway, I like that about  a chocolate tea pot lol that's funny! But really you are so helpful, what you say here is really really good. I suppose you're right he was happy just being out and also I suppose he did have a not bad life, he was out more than many dogs and certainly the last couple years he was always on my mind. And yes other things were often on my mind but nothing I can do about that now. Thanks, what you say has made me feel a bit better just now. 

Grandkids went away, but coming back today for a night. Not because of that, but I think I'll go out later. Still icy, but I'll go anyway. I've done a meditation by a guy Peter mcglaughlin a few times, it's to see your pet, well it's not clear but I can kinda see Goldie in a hazy form, first time was the clearest. And also I'm talking to him too. 

Is that bed time where you are. Enjoy your next walk with Aiki. Just curious, how did you come by the name Aiki. 

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KayC

Wow, it IS cold there, Gary!  I can't complain when it's 20s here I guess!  Well I can, I'm still cold, but glad it's not THAT cold!  Still, old castles beats sewers any day!  :D  Scotland must be beautiful!  Oregon is too but where I live isn't easy to survive on your own at my age. ;)

I click on the quote and hit delete, should disappear, have you tired in edit mode?  Not that it matters. :)

I envy you your grandkids.  My DIL wants me to come take care of the kids early April, will still be freezing and I can't be gone overnight then as I use wood heat and can't let the pipes freeze, esp. being gone several days!  Also have doctor's appt scheduled then and the contractor is supposed to tentatively replace the back of my garage then, I have to be here for that, AND my hands still hurt, not healing very fast since surgery two months ago today.  It's slow go.  We're getting a late winter and it's supposed to be bad so can't plan three months from now set in stone.  Wish I could come for summertime but they're always too busy then and don't stay home at all.

I was wondering the same thing about Aiki's name.

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Collettesweetbear

KayC, I think you need to go back to the doctor. Very concerned about your hand/hands. They should be healing and they are not. Even if that slow. Please back to the doctor again. They are in such pain and the doctor needs to look at them. Big hug


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Wootles567

Good morning friends. I echo Collette's sentiments, you guys are brave in that climate. It's funny hearing you talk about temperatures, because in Aus we use different measurements (celcius rather than farenheit), so when Collette says that it is 60 degrees, I flip out thinking how scorching that would be! I THINK that 60 degrees celcius roughly means around 15 degrees here. In Canberra our winters are fairly cold, but probably nothing compared to what Kay and Gary have to handle. Gets to around 0 or even -3 degrees. But it's the nasty, nippy little wind that finds its way past the warmest of jackets, blasting your face, which makes it unpleasant. Still, those days have a beauty of their own, with their starkness, and there is pleasure in just being in a warm little house with a mug of hot chocolate. The thought of snowy places has always rather captured my imagination, especially around christmas time. Growing up, I loved watching movies that featured a snowy xmas (Home Alone, Prancer, etc). While it's usually pretty cold, It often seems as there is two or three weeks in canberra where the weather is just perfect, and it's about that time now. A friend jokes that canberra really only has two seasons - winter and January. Hawaii also sounds amazing, I would so love to visit one day, but I hate the thought of being a 'tourist', seeing only a commercialised version of a beautiful culture and place. Do you still think of Hawaii as home, Collette? I was born in Melbourne, and tend to think of that as home, even though we moved to Canberra when I was five. Although I do have a lot of beautiful memories here, now, so I suppose Canberra is home.

It is so lovely getting a glimpse into your lives, and seeing how people in different places live. What kind of flora and fauna is usual where you are? Canberra is sort of a large city/town, and there is still lots of open spaces and nature reserves. We will often see kangaroos going about their business. Not in the suburbs, just in the nature reserves. Koalas are also around, and you can hear them grunting in the trees at night if you go camping. I have a HUGE phobia of snakes though, and we have the twenty most deadliest in Aus. My dad and sister are avid runners, and have each seen a few brown snakes (yikes!). Dad said that one even chased him once. But plenty of people grow up on farms and say that the danger is minimal, they don't seek you out unless it is breeding season, and even then, one can usually evade them.

Kay, it sounds like you have met life on it's own terms, and organised your own existence (as much as possible) to suit you. You state "It isn't easy to survive on your own at my age". At 69, it must be difficult to have to have to oversee all of the day-to-day matters, such as replacing the garage and sorting generators. Not to mention social security forms and other admin. And your hands are still healing. Do you have a good dr to oversee pain-management? Your self-sufficiency is truly inspirational. It is wonderful that you have Kodie (although I worry that his pulling might hurt your poor hands!). The more I think about it, the more I see how right you are. in a previous post, you said words to the effect that the love you got from George and pets have been worth it, echoing Shakespeare's sentiment "better to have loved and lost than never loved at all". And I've never been convinced that the pain is worth it. But for hearts like all of ours, I think we need to have a special someone in our lives. Aiki is truly a blessing in these days to me, going everywhere I go. Most of all, it is nice to see a furry love playing, and know that you are giving them an opportunity to do what they do best - play, explore, be out and about. Hope I can be as wise as you when I grow up, lol (I am 40). Will you do anything special for your 70th? 

Gary, I'm so glad to hear that I can help, because all of you are helping me so much. It is comforting to connect with people who understand this experience. How was today? How many grandkids do you have? I know you have a daughter and two sons, do they all live close-by? Do you like reading? If so, please go out and buy/borrow/steal a book called "Assassin's Apprentice" by Robin Hobb. It is a trilogy in the fantasy genre. The reason I suggest it is that not only is it a beautiful story full of amazing imagery, intricate characters and well-developed plots. The story revolves around a young man called Fitz and a wolf who is is bonded too, and raises from a cub, called "night-eyes". It describes the love between human and animals with superb intimacy, not only capturing the spirit of equality between us and our animals, and the elemental force that binds us both to nature, but the way that our animals never truly leave us. They are a constant source of wisdom and guidance. It's a book that will give you all great comfort, I'm sure. I'm pretty sure you can get a free two-week trial on Audible, where you can listen to the audio-book.

The name "Aiko" was chosen by my daughter, as Aiko is her baby. Apparently it is Japanese for "little loved one". She was one yesterday, and we took her to pet-barn to choose a new toy where she chose a chew-toy that we can put treats in, and it says "birthday pup". Also had two fun walks, and even met a new friend at the oval, a 16 month old poodle with perfectly coiffed hair and silver nail polish (very fancy!). Then a yummy steak dinner : ) 

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Wootles567

A few piccies of Spooey and Aiki. For some reason, it won’t let me upload more recent ones of Aiki. They seem to exceed the kB limit. But this gives you an idea of them. That is my daughter in the photo with Spooey < 3

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EA1635FD-55E4-44B7-ADCE-DCD186399D45.jpeg

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Gary55

Kay it seems April is not the time to go anywhere. If its going to be real cold and you'd be gone a couple nights you can't risk pipes freezing. Plus doctors appointment, well you really just have to do what you have to do for yourself. 

I was thinking about the temperatures, we use Celsius, like you Elle so when I say it may be minus 6, that's Celsius. I'm trying to think in Fahrenheit as when I was very young that's what I used. So freezing is zero, so that would be 32.so its something below that. We had a warm summer for here, most days were 25 to 28.  that was a struggle for Goldie, he got slower when it was hot, so always took water, but he still wanted a walk. So that would be 70 I suppose or more. Collette I doubt Pennsylvania would be for you. Nice for a visit, but constant cold is awful. I've always had poor circulation, in the cold my feet and hands get really cold that I can't feel my feet. Walking with Goldie worked hard a treat, you soon get the blood flowing. Even with heating I still get cold feet, this house is not the best. When it gets bad I've to put my feet in a basin of warm water for a while. 

Elle, lovely pics. Absolutely adorable. Spooey looks so lovely. I managed to get a small pic of Goldie on my profile, but the limit is real small, I'll post pics of him if I can but I think they would all exceed the limit. 

That's a nice name, so it's from the Japanese. Very appropriate. That would have been nice to visit the pet place, I could imagine the excitement! Thanks for the book tip, I'll look for that, never heard of it. The bond between animals and humans is so real, there is nothing like it. Anyone who hasn't had that has missed a lot in life, money is way less important than that. 

I like to hear about others countries. I've not been much of a traveller, my wife doesn't want to go out if the uk, and never has apart from Ireland to see her sister. Ive been to several European place, but not since Goldie appeared, id couldn't haveeft him. All our holidays were in the UK. I've only been to America once, when I was about 20.we went to New York buffalo and Toronto in Canada. The idea came from the program hill St blues, I loved that and then wanted to go to New York. Had a great time. My dad was in Brisbane Queensland when he was younger. He worked on a sugar cane plantation in a wee place called proserpine. He had said he was going back but never did. It was some family thing, some relatives owned the place.then he met my mum. 

I've 2 grandkids, a boy and a girl. They are my sons. My daughter hasn't got any, she's not in any rush she says. Not sure what I'll do today, as if there was much to do anyway. Really miss my walks with Goldie, id have been away for miles by now and back. Hope everyone has a nice day. 

 

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Hi,

  Things have finally started to calm down now after my sisters surgery. I am getting ready to take a pot of soup to them. It is trying to snow a little here today. It is going to be 54 by Thursday and then cold again for the weekend. I bought a Frisbee for Teddy and trying to get him to bring it to me, no much luck. He wants to chew on and runs from me if I try to take it. I have small treats now and will try those to train him. He pulled the stuffing out of one of Daisy's old toy's. He had it all over the couch and the floor, just like she used to do. I put the stuffing back and put the toy away. It was one of her favorites and I do not want to throw it away. I made me really sad when I saw the stuffing everywhere. I can remember all of the times I came home to messes like that when I first got her. She would have toy's all over the floor and stuffing everywhere. I would put the toy's back in the basket and she would go right behind me and get them back out again. I think I had her spoiled.. and Teddy is getting the same way. 

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Gary55

Hi Keith, good to see things a little better. Difficult with Daisy old toys, think I'd want to replace the stuffing too. Goldie was not onto frisbees, nor balls, well only a very little. Teddy will have his little things that he does, dogs do similar things but different if that makes sense. I know what I mean but I can't write it. You and Teddy will develop your own relationship. The snow, well that's another reason I don't want to drive again. I hated driving in snow and icy, and people driving past at speed. Take care

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Hi Gary,

  People around here drive crazy in the snow, I am glad I have the option to work from home. The hospital is just a mile away but I would just as soon stay off the roads. I have a hill to go up and people get stuck on it all of the time. I have not been in the office since March and it looks like I might not be going back. They turned my office into a supply room for Covid and other lab equipment. I like working from home now, it took a while to get used to it. I am wondering if we are going to get snow this year, it did not snow last year. I am glad it was warm last winter. I would wait outside on the steps for Daisy and carry her back up them. I think Teddy would like to play in the snow so at least one 3 inch one would be okay.. just not a lot but I will not get to decide that.  

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Hi everyone.

Collette, I'm not sure who to contact re pix, but keep trying, it would be lovely to see you and the people and animals in your life x how are things today? Still nice weather? And Gary, you too! It's a shame about the kB limit, but see what you can rustle up. I really love hearing about your adventures. I vaguely remember the show Hill Street Blues, and that theme song! It's iconic. Wasn't it a cop show? Did you like Canada? It always makes me smile when you use the word "wee", bless Scotland. And your grandpa worked on cane fields in Queensland - now Queensland does scare me a bit. It is gorgeous, but not only is there plenty of snakes, but CROCS!! Try and keep getting out for a walk my friend, if you feel like it xxx

Dko, is your sister ok? That's nice that you are taking her some soup. It's good you can work from home, give you plenty of time to play with Teddy. And be out of the way of hooligans driving in the snow! And I'm sorry to hear about Daisy's toy. We like to hang on to the things that were just for our loves, keep them just so. Teddy sounds like a real character, and a playful fellow. It is funny how dogs have their own little ways, but also share commonalities, as Gary says. Just on that - since Spooey is gone, Aiki has taken on some of his behaviours. For instance, at dinner time, both dogs got a chicken wing, and Aiks would gobble hers down right there. But Spooey would always take it outside to a spot where I could see him from the kitchen window, then take his time crunching it. And for some reason, that's what Aiki does now too. I suppose she is just missing him, and maybe it's her way of remembering him. Sometimes I'd catch Spooey watching me through the kitchen window, paws crossed while I did the washing up. I would rap on the window smartly and say "I am not an episode of 'neighbours', kindly stop staring at me!" haha. 'Neighbours' is an Aussie soap opera. Spooey would just laugh at me, tongue lolling out and wag his tail a bit. Strangest thing, but I've caught Aiks sitting in that spot, just staring at me and laughing in the same way..

 

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On 1/9/2021 at 3:18 PM, Wootles567 said:

Aiko is her baby. Apparently it is Japanese for "little loved one".

I love that!  Beautiful.  Okay, you guys have to see Hachi!  Also Japan.  Here is my back yard before I had the new ramp & rails built, I have a forest in the back, natural setting in the front, a year round stream behind the forest.  It is beautiful and I see all kinds of wildlife over the years, bears, cougar, foxes, raccoons, hummingbirds, Northwest Tanningers, squirrels, you name it!  The skunks I could do without!  I've had up to six feet of snow at once!

I won't be 69 until October so it's over a year before I turn 70, I just hope Covid is over by then and we can sit down in restaurants again!  I got the news last night that my little sister has Covid and is very sick, she turns 60 this year.  Her husband will shut down his business to take care of her, the employees will need tested as she works in their office.  Her husband was sick for three days prior so she wonders if he had it, he never gets hit hard or for long with anything, but this is one of those things that could make an exception with anyone healthy.  I think he should be tested and take every precaution anyway.  I wish I could go take care of her, but at my age I'm kind of scared to.  I hope she'll go to the hospital if need be.

Collette, are you feeling better?  You mention my hands, they'll be okay eventually, nothing is wrong except they need to recover, I have full function, I just hurt and have swelling, they ill prepared us for this!  My friend went through it the day after me, she's also experiencing the same thing as me.  Hers was endoscopic so easier on her than mine but she's still having the same thing as me.  I'm going to start cutting back on Ibuprofen though because I've thrown up a couple of times with no food on my stomach and think it might be because of that, I've never had so much in this span!

Freezing here is 32F, it often gets down to 20F.  She wants me several nights, out of the question.

If I need a post removed I "report it" and ask the moderator to remove it.  We don't have the capability ourselves, we can delete things in the post but not remove the post itself.

13 hours ago, Gary55 said:

I've 2 grandkids, a boy and a girl. They are my sons. My daughter hasn't got any

Same here.  My daughter's husband filed for a divorce a year ago but they aren't processing them during Covid so she's in limbo, her biological clock ticking by.  :(

DKO, Kodie is spoiled too and has chewed up ALL of his stuffed toys but still loves them.  Can you sew the stuffing back in and keep it for the sentimental value?  Kodie spends his time chewing, it's what he does, that's what Arlie did as a puppy too.  54F sounds wonderful!

About the pics, they don't allow much here, about 500 kb I think (it tells us when we try to post too big), I usually open them in paint, resize them, crop them, and save as in jpeg format to my desktop, then post from there.  Do a save as if you don't want to change the original.  My camera makes them way too big and I don't fiddle with the settings.

 

 

 


 

 

Snowy backyard.jpg

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Oh wow, Kay, what a GLORIOUS back yard! A winter wonderland. Those trees look so tall and majestic. I bet they would look equally majestic in spring or summer.. a nice veranda to sip ice-tea and watch the sunset. Sounds like there would also be lots of soothing nature sounds from the stream, hummingbirds and other wildlife. Do the bears or cougars cause any problems? Hope you are happy with the new ramps and renovations. 

Oh dear, hope your daughter is not too miserable. That would be difficult to face end of relationship, but be held in stasis due to covid. And it sounds like she might be wanting to have a baby.. hopefully this will have an end in sight, covid. Poor Biden's got his work cut out for him. What a difficult legacy. And really sorry to hear about your sister too.. it's good her husband will be on hand to take care of her though. It's incredibly tough to have to standby and watch loved ones in turmoil. 

Bear, I love that memory of Scooter, spinning around : ) She really has the prettiest markings. Did her eyes stay that blue? Lach has a little burmese cat called 'Fibby', and she's a spinner too. Lach and Iry play 'Fibby in the middle', where they throw a cat toy to each other and Fibby is constantly jumping up and spinning. Amazingly agile little things x

 

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Keith, looks like working from home is going to be the default position for so many from now on. If at all possible, that will be how it is. If you're used to it now that's good. I'm not getting another car, not just the weather, just that I have so much bother with any car that I can't be bothered with one now. I love that picture Kay, imagine having a forest out the back. All the animals you mention too. And bears cougars raccoons, amazing, certainly nothing like that here. Just like a story you read about, lovely. On our walks most days we saw deer, the occasional fox, but often herons, kingfishers, and a variety of birds. Lots of deer round about. I'll try the pictures thing you mentioned, I could try and change the format and crop, I'm not good with pics but but I'll give it a go. I'm sorry to hear about your sister, hopefully she will get over this soon. It's not right to be stuck in limbo like your daughter, that is a year of life wasted. Wonder what why they can't process that, I don't know but other things carry on legally so why not that. Collette that's good your cough is a little better. I'd imagine taste and smell would return, but that may take longer. I had an ear infection almost 2 years ago, my first ever. Didnt get antibiotics for 3 weeks, couldn't hear right at all. It's a tube in the ear that wasn't working, can't remember the name, anyway had to go to the hospital, and they said everything was OK. We'll till this day I can't hear properly, I've got used to it, mostly it's a dullness. 

Elle, yes Hill Street blues was a cop show, I loved it, music was good. Very 70s early 80s. I think we all know neighbours lol, that was real famous. How strange Aiki now sitting in that same spot looking at you! You wonder, is Spooey saying to sit there as that was a favourite spot, makes you think, Spooeys energy is still around. Fibby, nice name, I love that Fibby in the middle. Animals spinning is so funny. Goldie sometimes chased his tail, round and round. 

Here the ice has melted, and it's a cold wet morning. Just kinda fits my mood. I've a telephone meeting with my Counsellor today, so I'll see how that goes. I'm still replaying all the stuff in my head, what ifs etc. Maybe an hour with her will help. You guys are amazing too, thanks. 

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Hi Kay, I like that picture of the snow. I have a picture of my house after the ice storm in 2009. The whole house is covered by a tree that kind of laid down over the roof. The tree ended up dying and had to be cut down. From what I saw in the forecast it's going to be dry here this winter, not sure how they know what it's going to do next month. One 3-4 inch snow would be nice. I do one of Daisy's favorite toys in the shadow box with her paw print. I also have a couple of more sitting on shelf with her pictures. She would always grab one that is an Abominable snowman and run in the bedroom and shake it. One time she let go and it landed on top of the knock down wardrobe. She sat there looking around wondering where it went. 

Hi Ellie, Yes, my sister is okay now. She has had both hips and now both knees replaced. I had to help her with her dogs, she has 5 Shih Tzu's in the house and two bigger dogs outside. They are a handful. One of the inside dogs is old and you have to carry him outside, like I did Daisy.

Hi Gary, Yes, I Think working from home is going to be permanent now. I try to go into the lab at least once a week for a couple of hours. I am friends with some of the staff and it's nice to get to talk to someone face to face. 

Hi Collette, I am glad you are over Covid. When I had a dog rescued dog named Blackie she chased a opossum out of the back yard and one of the babies fell off of it. It grabbed onto Blackie's tail and she ran all over the house trying to get it off. At first I thought she was playing but then I saw this little pink baby hanging on. I got it off of her and put it on the other side of the fence where the mama opossum went. I guess she got it because it was gone the next day..  

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14 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Do the bears or cougars cause any problems?

The bear are scared by barking dogs or bright lights and have never caused any problems (so long as they can't get into your trash, we went to a metal can because they can bite into the rubber ones)...one year though we had just painted the house and gone on vacation so the dog wasn't here to bark and they tried to get into my daughter's bedroom window, got muddy paw prints all over the house!  We had to repaint there and she wouldn't sleep in her bedroom for a month!  It coincidentally was when our neighbors were also gone or their dog would have barked.  Cougar are another matter.  When I had my grand-doggy, Skye living with me, I was taking him outside at 1 am so he could do his business as his Colitis had flared up, he was crying and turning around because it hurt to go and all of a sudden I heard this REALLY LOUD HISSING!  I looked up and there right in front of the forest, about 20' away, was a cougar!  I told Skye, "Come on, you can do that in the house, we'll make an exception!"  Scared me so bad!  Cougars are responsible for killing, packing off two of my cats over the years.  Usually they're out in the night & I don't let my cats out then but both times it occurred in early morning. I hate cougar, they'll eat little children, dogs, deer, anything!  Arlie was a better match, being up to 140 lbs but fortunately one never came into the front yard, where he was.  Kodie I'm am paranoid about!

 

16 hours ago, Collettesweetbear said:

One time Scooter got something stuck on her fluffy tail and she wanted it off so, she started spinning. A cat spinning is so funny.

That would be a video I'd love to see!  My son took a video of Kodie spinning and posted to FB once but I don't know how to find, download, and post it, did come up as a "memory" once though.  

 

14 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Oh dear, hope your daughter is not too miserable. That would be difficult to face end of relationship, but be held in stasis due to covid. And it sounds like she might be wanting to have a baby.. hopefully this will have an end in sight, covid. Poor Biden's got his work cut out for him. What a difficult legacy. And really sorry to hear about your sister too.. it's good her husband will be on hand to take care of her though. It's incredibly tough to have to standby and watch loved ones in turmoil. 

Your not a kidding Biden has his work cut out for him!  I feel so sorry for him, all the haters, the first time in history a reigning president has been so uncooperative and inflaming, I've never seen such hate!  Has not set a good trend for our country.  Our recent capital riot reflects that.  I will breathe a sigh of relief when THIS year is behind us as I'm afraid we're in for a long haul with Covid, unrest, etc.
My daughter says she'd take kids any way she could get them!  I hope and pray she can find someone who will treat her right, maybe she can be a stepmom if it's too late otherwise...To complicate things, she has two vaginas/uteruses and if sperm unites with the wrong side it doesn't develop the placenta/sac so the baby dies/miscarries, that's what happens last time.  That's when Don left her.  Infuriates me!
Thank you for showing interest, I know this is about losing our pets but you all are so sweet and understanding and I feel a kinship with you all more so than ever before, you're all so supportive of each other even in your own grief and devastation.  I love you all.  Honestly, at least we have this place to connect in this social isolation.  And I love connecting with people from all over the world, it's the same in my diabetic group.  It gives broadened perspective, helps us feel connected, a part of something bigger than ourselves, helps us culturally as well, I think.

 

9 hours ago, Gary55 said:

On our walks most days we saw deer, the occasional fox, but often herons, kingfishers, and a variety of birds. Lots of deer round about.

Years ago when I was doing prison ministry, I wrote this to the inmates...I think it was their favorite as they said it made them feel like they were there.  I used to take my dog out walking (Lucky, whippet) every night between 10 and midnight, I love the still quiet that time of night!  I have always loved nature and found solace in it.  I read "Pathways to the Soul" and mine is nature!


Tonight is so beautiful…there was a lot of wind today, and the temperature is perfect.  As I walk down my beautiful road of nature, the sky is dark - neither black nor quite blue…just very dark.  There is no moon out, but the stars are sprinkled all across the sky like glittering diamonds, and the dark sky shows them off.  The path is thick with dust from the earlier wind, so the ground is soft, and the air is fresh and it smells like the smell of fresh dirt.  I feel the air whipping around my face, not harsh, just…nice.  I can barely make out the silhouettes of the trees in the darkness.  I walk down a lane bedecked with tall stately trees, and it is like walking through a narrow tunnel, and then I come out to the other side and the sky opens up to beauty and wonder.  The only sounds I hear are the sounds of rushing water, and bullfrogs calling their songs.  Lucky is running back and forth, investigating everything, checking on me, happily whipping her tail at me, saying, “Come on!”, and she nestles her nose against my hand as I walk.  I come to my favorite tree, the one that is tall and stout - it has a story to tell.  It stands alone with its greenery ruggedly uneven.   You can see it has been whipped in life, yet it still stands, a monument to survival.  Where are its companions?  The others are all together, but this one with the interesting shape, it stands aloof…perhaps not intentionally, but there it is, alone.  I find comfort in it, knowing that it is still there.  It holds its branches out to the sky, and you can’t help but admire it.  I walk along, and I see another favorite…two trees entwined so tightly they look like one.  I am reminded of a couple whose hearts beat so closely, you can barely distinguish them as separate.  These two trees speak to me also, of closeness and harmony…and again, I see survival.  I walk along and hear the sounds of Fourth Creek rushing, and I think of the forces that go on, regardless of the season…they have their highs and lows, but they continue.  I hear the wind pick up its song, and it sounds almost as thunderous as the ocean, and for a moment I listen and think of the peace that I always feel when I hear that sound.  Everything seems to come into perspective somehow when you hear that sound.  When I look up at the sky and see the myriads of stars there, knowing that each one represents vastness all in itself, I feel so small…yet not in an insignificant way, but rather I realize the vastness of God, the vastness of His love…that me, so small in the scheme of things, should be important to Him who has so much to concern Himself with!  How quickly these six miles pass!   How blessed I am to live in such a paradise!

@dko  So glad your daughter is better!

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7 hours ago, KayC said:

Cougars are responsible for killing, packing off two of my cats over the years.  Usually they're out in the night & I don't let my cats out then but both times it occurred in early morning. I hate cougar, they'll eat little children, dogs, deer, anything!  Arlie was a better match, being up to 140 lbs but fortunately one never came into the front yard, where he was.  Kodie I'm am paranoid about!

Oh gosh, that is a worry! I have a naive view of bears, they seem so huggable, but I bet they are pretty scary in real life. No wonder your daughter couldn't sleep in the room where bears were trying to get in. And no wonder you're worried about Kodie. At least he sounds like an energetic fellow, with his pulling. Hopefully bears and cougar will realise that he is best left alone. Do the neighbours also have dogs? More doggy voices will hopefully shoo cougars away.

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's plight.. And for Don to leave after your daughter's miscarriage seems really unkind. Poor love! Is there any chance (when things are more normal-ish) that she might be able to seek assistance with pregnancy through in vitro? Another thing I am ignorant about is the American health system, but from what I understand, surgery and even essential medical requirements are prohibitively expensive. As you say, there is also fostering though. But I do hope that she meets someone extra nice : ) We could all use some nice news in 2021.

It really is a lovely essay on nature, Kay. I think I have experienced that a couple of times, feeling both infinitesimally small, but also completely connected to an awesome power. Such a lovely thing to do for inmates. At one point, I enquired about going in to give some music lessons to inmates, thought it might be nice for them to be able to tap into that, and realise that potential. I was laughed off the phone, and I'm chuckling a bit as I relate that - the official almost fell off his chair in merriment, imagining hardened criminals screeching away at violin lessons. Guess it is a funny image : D 

I'm really enjoying this community, too. I still feel very sad, and am getting panic attacks here and there. But it really lifts my day to hear from you all, hear about where you live, what's important to you and what has happened in your day. I think it does help, just to be able to focus on other things, becuase it is too easy to fall back into reminiscence or recriminations if you're not paying attention to what is happening here, and now, as well as what is happening for other people in the world.

Hope you have had a good day xxxx

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Keith, that sounds real bad, a tree over the house. We're you in when it landed on top, and was there any damage. I just can't imagine that. We've no large trees near the garden, it's always a danger in a storm. That's good you've people to speak to. We really all need some social contacts. I'm not there, I'm happy just with the immediate family. Almost all my social contacts were with dog walkers. I've met some real friends through walking Goldie, and obviously just people you see out and about. So I miss that, but with virtually all the conversations about dogs I just couldn't right now. So your sister has 7 dogs wow. How does she manage, that's a lot of work. Goldie was full time, I couldn't image having lots. But I suppose if she's used to having lots, she would normally get on with it and easily enough. 

Kay, what a lovely passage. Just being as one in nature and all that goes on. Forces we are unaware of but are all around us. There nothing so calming. That's beautiful. I'm amazed at how you speak about bears. It's like oh it's just a bear. I have this idea of them just going after people. So really they won't come near lights people or dogs? Cougars are animals I'd never really thought about, so really they are more dangerous. Its incredible to me to have animals like that so near properties. Nothing at all like that here. It's eye opening to hear about other parts. The world is a strange place right now. From a year ago to this. I used to follow it all the time, I realise its important but for me it's all so secondary. Even stuff here I'm not really following. My wife was saying something about the situation here, and i wasn't following her, my mind is elsewhere. I bopeyour daughter can get things sorted in her life. My daughter has had a few real setbacks over the years. One involved her having to relocate, although she is back here now. Things is always something.

Elle what a lovely idea about giving lessons to inmates. But to sort of be laughed at is awful. Such a lovely gesture. Why wouldn't some of them like that. Just because they did something wrong doesn't mean they are not musical or not interested. 

Had an hour with my counseller yesterday. I suppose she gets deep into stuff, asking about guilt and so on. I was in tears for a large part of the hour. She's saying also to try and get out a bit more, and replace negative thoughts with positive ones etc. Not so easy really. Think I'll go out today and see how I am. 

@AJWCatwondering how you are. Hope things are going ok with you. 

 

 

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10 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Hopefully bears and cougar will realise that he is best left alone.

Bears would not bother him, the ones here rarely attack and live on berries, etc.  They are scared of us and only attack if we come between mama and cub.  That's why you don't want to proceed with them, back track slowly, don't turn your back though or they might think you have cause to run from them and that alone can trigger something.  I can deal with bears, not with cougar.  Cougar prey on pretty much anything and there is no tameness or fear in them!  Kodie would be no match.  When they grab an animal it is usually from behind, catch them unaware, grab their neck and take off with them into the woods, never to be seen again...eaten and bones discarded.  The animal goes into shock which I hope protects them from feeling what is about to happen.  I mean if they can take down a fighting kicking deer, nothing else is a match for them either!  Deer are vicious fighters!  I've watched videos of them with humans that are stupid enough to get too close!  They think because they look cute they're tame, NO!!  I don't think cougar are daunted by barking or anything else, one reason they're so fearsome!

10 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

she might be able to seek assistance with pregnancy through in vitro?

No money for that, she works seven days/week just to pay rent, etc.!  And she hasn't dated yet as she's still married, although he hasn't been a husband for three years and didn't treat her right before that.  I just hope things get better from her sometime soon, her life has been nothing but pain the last few years.  :(

10 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

the official almost fell off his chair in merriment, imagining hardened criminals screeching away at violin lessons.

He might have laughed, but you'd be surprised.  They just might find release in that!  One never knows until one tries.  I don't know they'd be allowed an instrument though, so many rules!  They can enroll in college courses locally though, not sure how they do that, whether someone comes to the institution or what, they don't have on line access or phone either except limited in gen. population with supervision when the guards determine.  It costs a lot, back then if they called me collect it'd run $30.00 for 1/2 hour, about $20.00 for 15 min. depending upon institution how long they were allowed.  They have to wait in line to make a call.

10 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Another thing I am ignorant about is the American health system

For the most part, so are we!  It's horrible, that's all I can say.  You have to get referrals and preauthorization and yes it leaves large amounts to pay.  Few can afford the Cadillac policies.  My sister Peggy has one from when she was working for the federal government, but I just have Medicare advantage program and it's a managed care that you have to jump through hoops for and they don't necessarily let you have whatever Rxs your doctor deems necessary.  We often go without or have to wait a long time for something we need.  Pretty poor considering we're supposed to be a progressive country, ha!  The only good thing I can say is at least we're still allowed to complain (freedom of speech) but that doesn't really get us anywhere.  It was cheaper before Obamacare but many were uninsured then, now everyone has access but can't afford it, my daughter can't.  Her living expenses take it all.  Usually you need a spouse or roommate to make it financially.  

10 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

I think it does help, just to be able to focus on other things

I agree.  Reality can really suck and it helps to get out of it for a while.

3 hours ago, Gary55 said:

So really they won't come near lights people or dogs?

No, unless they're carnivorous or protecting their cub.  This time of year they're hibernating so we don't worry.

3 hours ago, Gary55 said:

Cougars are animals I'd never really thought about, so really they are more dangerous.

The cougar were here before people/residential, so you can find them near schools/playgrounds, anywhere.  I've lived here 43 1/2 years and I know they're in the woods all around.  It helps to go out with your dog, be armed though.  Hand to hand combat...you'll lose.  It's rare anyone fends them off, but if they can lodge a stick vertically in their mouth, they might run off, most of us would be paralyzed with fear and succumb to our fate.  But I've heard of brave souls that were able to live through it, just rare.

Gary, here's some articles on pet loss guilt, I hope they are of some help to you:
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
https://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/06/pet-loss-guilt-in-wake-of-kittens.html
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

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Thanks for these links Kay. Good articles, they are well thought out, these help. I particularly like the one by Moira Anderson, although they are all good. As she says even if we are not responsible fir the pets death we find something in the pets life, perhaps not paying enough attention or not walking them enough. That's me, although I was out a lot, my mind is going round with I should have taken him there, or should have paid more attention rather than being on my phone. It can't be changed now. It's like I'm bad, and therefore I shouldn't enjoy myself because he's not here. So these articles really do get down to this. Thanks. 

Had a read on wiki too about cougars. Crazy to think these animals are so close and so dangerous. So any pet or child could easily be a target. It's Frightening. 

Health care here is free. We have been lucky, the NHS was set up after the war, it's really good. You can go private too,which can speed things up. Things are changing though, some stuff has been sold off. But at the moment if you need an operation it's free. Waiting lists can be long though, it depends. And I think covid will change a lot of it. 

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I agree, cougars are EXTREMELY dangerous. IMO they need to open them up for hunting!  They come clear into the cities for crying out loud!  Terrifying esp. around schools, etc.

Wow, seems we're the only ones besides third world countries that DON'T have free health ins!  Even our "Medicare" we pay for and it often doesn't cover what we need.  I can't afford supplemental in addition to house, car, other insurances, phone, property taxes, fed & state taxes, utilities, home repairs, food, gas.  I'd like to see our politicians survive on social security, that we paid into all our lives!  One called it an "entitlement,"  that infuriated me, like we're welfare or something, no, we EARNED it and PAID for it!  

My friend in Canada also have national/free health ins, he also said the wait can be slow.  Here the elective surgeries are on hold, Covid patients have priority as they should, but it's amazing what they're calling "elective!"  I suffered with my hand severely day and night for eight months before they'd see me!  Why?  Because the doctors quit coming to work "because of Covid."  That ticks me off too because we wear masks, etc. and they're all gowned and masked up with gloves on, what are they worried about?  How many single mothers get an option to stay home from work for a year?  No, they go to work in grocery stores and serve take out in restaurants, never missing work.  How many police get to stay home or firemen?  Yet our courts aren't processing things all year?  Are their clerks and judges still getting paid?  How do people live w/o working?

10 hours ago, Gary55 said:

we find something in the pets life, perhaps not paying enough attention or not walking them enough.

I have a couple of regrets that I can't forget, I WISH I had his fence built years earlier!  But at least he got to roam free the last two years, he loved it!  And I will always regret one memory I have of dragging him out of his doghouse to get him to come eat...I knew if he stopped eating I'd lose him, I was terrified.  But later I thought how would I like it if I had cancer and didn't feel good and someone made me get up and eat!  I so regret that, I know it was my fear taking over, but it was very very wrong.  I tell him, "I'm so sorry, Arlie."  I know he's forgiven me, but it's hard to forgive myself.

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14 hours ago, Gary55 said:

It's like I'm bad, and therefore I shouldn't enjoy myself because he's not here

Hi Gary, my heart goes out to you x I think when our love goes, it actually does take a piece of us. And that destabilises identity. The usual ways that we reassure ourselves that we are ok people is through the infinite acceptance of from our loves. So when that goes (in the physical), we are really susceptible to thoughts about being 'bad', not doing enough, etc. Please know that from the outside, it could not be more clear that what you had with Goldie was mutually respectful, intuitive, and the most beautiful and truest expression of love. Allow yourself to acknowledge and remember that for what it is. I have no doubt that Goldie would feel that way. At these times, our minds are just a bit more vulnerable to negative thoughts. Maybe we didn't get it exactly perfect (same as parenting), but honestly, you did your Goldie proud xxx

I had a dream night before last. I was invited to a picnic with work colleagues at the river where I had taken Spooey a year ago. Well, that part is true. Yesterday I had tried to psych myself up to go to it, but ended up staying here with Aiki. Still not really up to interacting with people right now. Anyway, in my dream, I had gone to the picnic, and was walking with my boss, who was discussing plans. I was distracted, because I could see Spooey running ahead of me with another dog, maybe a jack-russell, and Spooey was running far, far ahead of me. He and this jack-russel were perhaps chasing something, and Spooey was obviously so healthy and having fun, but I was worried about how far away he was. So I stopped my boss and asked if I could borrow her car to go and catch Spooey. She said 'no' (kindly), it was important that we go back and join the picnic, but I said, "I'll meet you there" and raced off to find him. Couldn't find him, and woke up crying. I know it was a happy dream, because he was happy and safe and well. But I felt so incredibly alone, and spent all day on the couch. Except for taking Aiki out for two walks. Dunno what I'd do without her.

 

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1 hour ago, Collettesweetbear said:

When your child is in danger or really anything that’s not good for them, our mommy instincts takes over the wheel

Oh bear, you saved your baby Scooter! What a beautiful thing x And you're right, those parental instincts kick in, and we have to do things for our love's own good, even if they are kicking and biting. I do think that they understand that, even if it's not pleasant for them at the time.

Kay is so right though - even if we don't play a perfect game, they do forgive us. We would if the shoe was on the other foot. That's part of what love is - never holding a grudge, because there is a perfect understanding of the others motives.

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5 hours ago, KayC said:

Wow, seems we're the only ones besides third world countries that DON'T have free health ins!  Even our "Medicare" we pay for and it often doesn't cover what we need.  I can't afford supplemental in addition to house, car, other insurances, phone, property taxes, fed & state taxes, utilities, home repairs, food, gas.  I'd like to see our politicians survive on social security, that we paid into all our lives!  One called it an "entitlement,"  that infuriated me, like we're welfare or something, no, we EARNED it and PAID for it!

Hi KayC, It is pretty incredible that such a rich, powerful country like America lets her citizens down by making health-care so unattainable for regular people. We have free health-care here too, although of course one can get private health insurance if they want. I can't say I know heaps about it, but I grew up in a very lefty family, watching Michael Moore documentaries etc. Although I totally respect everyone's views - as John Mill Stuart says: "he who only knows his own side of the case knows little of that". I can remember my dad swearing at the politicians on the TV since I was 5, shaking his head at the lack of care they had for their citizen's health and needs. While I don't understand the complexities of politics, I remember in an economics class that the basic differences between the two main parties are 'Keyensian' principles vs 'Hayekian' (influencing Thatcher and Regan) ones. I THINK Hayek generally thought that the government should not interfere with market-forces, whereas Keynes took a more liberal (compassionate IMHO) view, and perhaps understood that the government needed to be responsive to it's citizens needs to prevent catastrophe. Anyway, I guess what I am saying is that I absolutely agree that you should be given the help and support that you paid for and earned. 

Re cougars, I had no idea what a menace they are! Another difference between America and other countries is gun policies. While I wouldn't weigh in on the debate, I do hope that you and Kodie are safe, and able to defend yourselves from creatures that are so vicious.. Does the local government not do anything about it? Over here, the kangaroos can be a bit of a problem - they are not vicious, but their population can grow out of control to the point that they cause accidents on the road. So it's usual to have a bit of a cull now and again.

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I'm always up for a story, bear : ) it's always a nice diversion, hearing about other people's lives. Even though sometimes things are difficult. Guess we all know people who hold grudges. You can only feel sorry for them I guess (and perplexed, annoyed, and angry at the damage they do to themselves and others).. Can't remember who said this, but there is a saying: "if you seek revenge, better dig two graves". Best to let go of slights, if at all possible..

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Kay I can understand why you may question now you pulling Arlie out to eat. You had to, as his mum you did what you believe to be right. You couldn't just leave him. I'd have done the same. You did what was right to help him. You did that because of love. As Collette says you would do anything. That is amazing Collette you lifted that bed. You HAD to do it and you did. That must all have been awful, you were so brave. How could you leave Scooter, you just cant. I can only imagine, and I'd rather not, leaving Goldie, firemen or not. Imagine surviving a fire and your pet dying. We would never get over that. And I agree if friendship means ignoring the thing most precious to you, well stuff the friendship. 

Thanks Elle for your kind words. I hope he feels that I did the best I could for him. Funny, I can help others but I can't help myself. This is all so surreal, I suppose you're right though. Strange dream, great he was there, so he came to you. I suppose dogs were just doing what dogs can do. Goldie used to disappear sometimes. Although you didn't find him, it's reassuring that he was there. But that's when reality hits. We then realise they are not physically there. But they are there really spiritually . I would be good having Aiki, at least its a routine, still taking a dog out. I don't know how I'd be if I'd had another dog as well as Goldie, and still having to take it out. I'd not thought about that. I suppose we would both be missing him.

Exactly Collette, animals don't hold grudges. I'm convinced animals are higher up the spiritual tree than humans. If you want to say more about your sis, go ahead, we are all ears, it's good to talk and let things out. Elle I did politics as a mature student at uni, so I remember studying Mill Keynes Hobbes and others, but a lot I've forgotten. A little light reading for today! 

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19 hours ago, Collettesweetbear said:

if we had cancer we wouldn’t want to get up and eat but, that’s different.

I feel I should have honored him by putting aside my selfish desires to keep him with me and let HIM do what was comfortable for HIM.  I should have let him die sooner if need be, not prolong his agony and pain by forcing him to come eat when he felt horrible.  That was wrong.  No one can convince me otherwise.  It's something I live with but as a lesson, not to berate myself.

 

18 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Does the local government not do anything about it?

18 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Does the local government not do anything about it?

18 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Kay is so right though - even if we don't play a perfect game, they do forgive us. We would if the shoe was on the other foot. That's part of what love is - never holding a grudge, because there is a perfect understanding of the others motives.
 

18 hours ago, Wootles567 said:

Does the local government not do anything about it?

Nope, not really.  I live in the country so we're under Lane County.  If you call the authorities, they're short handed, have their deputy in Florence, which is two hours away, hardly a help!  If I saw a cougar threat I would either shoot it with my pistol or call a neighbor who can take it out quickly (I have a couple who have done just that.)  Then we have to call the authorities and fill out a report and let them take the carcass.  You always worry that someone won't be able to help until it's too late.  Did I say, "I hate cougars!" ?

 

13 hours ago, Collettesweetbear said:

My older sister has held a grudge for 5 years.

I am so sorry!  So hard to understand.  I just went through an ugly experience with my sister Polly night before last.  She's out of control and takes it out on whoever is around be it her husband or someone (me) on the phone.  But she went WAY too far!!!  If it helps you to get it out, please share your story with us! :wub:

4 hours ago, Gary55 said:

I'm convinced animals are higher up the spiritual tree than humans.

I TOTALLY AGREE!
 

 

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4 hours ago, KayC said:

It's something I live with but as a lesson, not to berate myself.

Beautiful. We go forward, and try and learn. Thank you KayC. 

Hope things didn't get too hectic with your sister? Is it something that can be resolved?

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Collettesweetbear

KayC I just saw your text. We all carry around our regrets. And, no-one no matter how sincere can take away or change how a person feels. I understand what you mean.


Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

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Kay, I totally see where you are coming from. From where I am just now, being on here, reading about grief and so on has helped me greatly. It has made me realise that I'm not 100 per cent  bad. It's also made me realise I'm not 100 percent good either. So even if I feel 99pc good about a particular thing, 1pc remains unanswered. I know what I'm trying to say, although it may not be worded correctly. 

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I did respond, I'm here every day, and no, was never offended by anything you said!  I know everything you say comes from a good place, I just see a burning house as being different than a dog nauseated with cancer and hurting and I still feel as I do.  It's something I have to live with...again, not to berate myself, but to learn from.  I think it's as important to be sensitive with our pets as with people!

6 hours ago, Gary55 said:

reading about grief and so on has helped me greatly. It has made me realise that I'm not 100 per cent  bad.

Of course you're not!  We don't have the animal abusers and uncaring posting here, it's those of us who love our animals completely and intentionally and miss them more than anything!

 

My little sister has turned the corner with her Covid, headaches gone, doesn't hurt as bad but still coughing and very exhausted, sleeps all the time.  I hope she doesn't push herself to get back into the office, they have their own business and a LOT of work piling up I'm sure, her husband, also recovering, trying to run the business and take care of her.  Sometimes we have to let what we can go and heal.  I hope you're also doing better every day Collettebear!

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